Kosher Innovations That Didnt Make It

Over the years KI has made inventions that have astounded the Jewish world. The most famous being the kosher lamp and toilet paper. Some less famous ones include the mitzvah muzzle and lashon hara gag. But there were some ideas that were rejected or just never caught on.

Tznius leg warmers were one of the items that never made it. Being that regular leg warmers resemble pants they decided to make it a one piece that wrapped around both legs instead of two separate ones for two separate feet. It never caught on due to the inability to walk in them.

Purple Ketchup. Who remembers purple ketchup? Yes the KI institution of frumology came up with this one. We know that red is an immodest color. If you like being bleached then hop on over to meah she'arim wearing red, they will be more than happy to shower you in bleach. So instead of the usual immodest ketchup they turned it purple. The purple Ketchup hit its climax when it made its way into McDonald's happy meals. That's when Kosher Innovations decided their product is to kosher to make it to a non-kosher place, and they pulled it from the shelves never to be seen again.

The Umbrella Hat. The hat that could be used for davening and acts as an umbrella when you cant carry one on shabbos. This too never caught on for various reasons that included it looking ridiculous.

The Talis Kattan Bag. "We all know you have a Tallis bag. Introducing the Talis Kattan Bag. Store your tzitzis, in this useless item over night. Available with name tags (this is from last years post)". Well as much as they thought it would catch on like the talis bag, it didn't and they aborted this one too.

There are probably many more of inventions like these that I don't know of. They feel rejected and hurt because no one wants them. I'm just voicing them to others out there, because maybe they too will one day become like their role model inventions such as the Kosher Phone, Kosher lamp, Tefillin sweater and others.

Star Mangled BANner

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the news, I was appalled and shocked, suddenly I was to treif for myself. Everyone was in turmoil, in fact you should leave right now if haven't already and head to a kosher country, that's right get off the Internet and pack you kosher innovated items and get moving.

I just stood there watching as everyone got up and left every pizza store, Judaica store, bakery, and business, even including B & H closed down. It was like an apocalypse before 2012, everything was barren and desolate. No it wasn't the snow that made it happen, it was The Ban. Rumors of The Ban were going around for a few months now but we all thought it was just a rumor, turns out we were wrong come that fateful day (you know how every special day has a name like D-day or kristillnacht, and for some reason the named days I chose have to do with WWII, but either way they are named) The Ban was "signed" by chareidi rabbis. Then as The Ban went into affect we all packed out.

Your probably wondering what was The Ban I speak of, if you don't know you must be living under a rock but Ill tell you anyway. The Ban was made in Israel by a bunch of people who have great influence on various powerful rabbonim. They banned America, maybe it was college's or is it because all maps show the states of America in different colors not just black, most probably because it has many parking lots that aren't protested in, I'm not sure why but they did Ban living in America. They said, just like my great great great great grandfather did in 1880 Dos iz a treife land (this is a treif land), and they banned living in America, that includes Lakewood ir hakodesh. And because of this everyone got up and left.

Being that you are now informed about The Ban I should let you know that there is a resistance of a few brave souls who decided its wrong for them in Israel to tell us where to live. The Askanim who made the ban, or should I say puppet masters, have sent a troop of home grown me'ah shearim bochurim to the states to riot and burn the rest of Jewish America and its resistance force.

(and the post takes an unexpected twist)

I am part of this resistance, I don't know how much longer we will last, these crazy bochurim never stop on the attack, we've been on the run from them for one month now ever since they overtook Teaneck (yeah, the one in new jersey). They seem to run on grease and chulent never sleeping, showering or using deodorant. As of now are primary weapon is the anti-ban, it can hold them for a while allowing us to have won only a few battles in the past, but were getting the hang of their tactics. Give us a few more months and were are planning an invasion of Israel, aided by nefesh B'nefesh, as a drastic move hopefully getting the bochur troops to flee back to Israel in hopes to save it from us. Maybe one day we will get back Jewish America and rid ourselves of the tyranny I hope so, Hashem Yirachem

INTERESTING NEWS

Good evening I am your host Mike In Midwood. In tonight's news the global chain store Gap has sold one of its top and most expensive branches, Banana Republic, to a Jewish organization made up of rabbis know as Agudath Yisroel. The offer was made by the rabbis after they noticed that there were many orthodox Jews who shopped there often, one anonymous rabbi was reported saying "Its ah shandah dat dey buy frum dis Banana Republic, bananas are meant for monkeys and dats for de shvartzes you see on de street". The new frum chain store, Rabbinical Republic, will sell only expensive black clothing (the picture shows the manikins). The designer of the new chain store told us in an exclusive interview, ".... There will be so many different styles of black it will blow your mind...". The new Frum store will be opening up worldwide next z'man.

In other news (straightens stack of papers), Kosher Innovations has made your commute to the city just a little more kosher. The idea came up as coworkers, at the KI main building on 13th ave. in Boro Park, were brainstorming as to what to do for all the people who don't drive to work, and therefore don't use a kosher GPS to guide them, how will they get to work kosherly? One of the coworkers told us how it went down, "We just couldn't figure out what other useless item we can innovate, then someone mentioned Kosher subway cars, and we all jumped over the idea". The new Kosher subway cars, much like the kosher GPS, will feature a male voice, instead of a woman's and a mashgiach to make sure the car stays kosher. The male voice will be used to tell you which stop is next and to stay clear of the closing doors (please). The idea is being tossed around the MTA as of now, and is said that if the new subway cars come in the fare will be hiked up another 25 cents.

That's all for tonight, tune in next time for another edition of Mike Tonight, same station same time, every night.

This is another edition of Mike Tonight dunt dunt dunt dunt dununununt (background music).

CHAIM SNYDER

Ever since the creation of Harry Potter, the Jewish world has gone into a frenzy. This has happened for many reasons; some say that the book is inappropriate for Jewish minds, others say its because a non Jew wrote it, and some rabbis say that people might come to say accio TV remote, which would then be practicing kishuf (black magic), but the majority of rabbis agree that its because if you read the book you will then want to see the movie, and movies are assur. But what ever the reason is all, rabbis are against it and there seems like there is nothing they can do to stop the potter frenzy. That is until they decided to come out with their own book, or shall I say sefer, called Chaim Snyder.


The new series is about a boy by the name of Chaim Snyder, who was kidnapped by a bunch of christian priests and brought up christian (the priests killed his parents). When he becomes 13 years old he gets a visit from a rabbi, who was sent to find him before his bar mitzvah and tell him he was Jewish. Chaim then embraces Judaism and is sent to a top yeshivah in Israel where he is supposed to learn. Over there in Israel he makes new friends who are very into kabalah. He becomes very "good" (what ever that means) at kabalah and can perform unnatural things, or nisim. Just as he is having a great time in Israel, there rises a new pope who has the power of kishuf, the pope is also making a visit to Israel very soon. Chaim and his friends decide to stop this pope. On their way they have to fight through phony fortune tellers, and Israeli taxi drivers to stop the pope..... sorry I cant give the whole story away, but the new pope was the one who killed Chaims parents in the beginning.


This is the new sefer the rabbis hope is going to combat the awful harry potter series, also the rabbis wont allow it to be made into a movie. In my opinion the new book is only going to be a hit for those who didn't read harry potter, because it was assur.

INNOVATING USELESS KOSHERNESS

We here at Kosher Innovations are working hard for you at every given moment, and are looking to make your kosher life easier. So we introduce to you THE KOSHER LAMP, LIGHT SWITCH COVER tm. This new invention allows to you to feel safe when around your kosher lamp, so you wont come to turn it off. See how we make your life easier.

Also for shabbos, we have a new alarm clock. You have the regular alarms for shachris 1, and shacharis 2, then mincha and ma'ariv; but now we have one new alarm for the musaf service too, to make sure you don't over sleep musaf.


Have you ever felt the need to calculate how much money you owe to your child's yeshiva? Well we are in the middle of mass producing a never before seen pocket computer system, that will be able to instantly calculate how much you owe to the yeshiva. All you have to do is punch in a few numbers from your bill, and how much you paid so far, and it will magically tell you what you owe. All those years of not taking math class, will finally pay off. And if you order right now, then when we start to sell the product, we will give you an extra one, free!, so you can keep track of your other child's tuition bill too!

Kosher Innovations is truly working hard for you.


To donate to this non-profit organization call 1800-Ino-vate, or e-mail us at Kosherinnovaters613@yahoo.com (you cant e-mail us from optimum or dial up, only koshernet will work)

DID THE TABLES TURN OR DID I JUST SWITCH SIDES?

For a little over a year strawberries have been banned, due to infestation. I have always liked strawberries, but now I have to eat their cousins the kiwi, who is not as good. The strawberry saw itself drop from the markets, no more shmorgs with the strawberry salads, no more weddings with strawberries going untouched, the strawberry era had died.

That was until recently, when an unlocal Israeli rabbi supposedly lifted the ban. I was shocked, "are the tables turning" I thought to myself "could it be that after 7 years of chumros, will come the 7 years of heterim?" I dreamt. Then VIN interpreted the Rabbis words. The Rabbi meant that, if there were worms that were invisible to the naked eye then you can eat the strawberry (then yosef was appointed to viceroy). Who in the world makes a mistake between visible worms and invisible worms! and if the worms are visible youre still not allowed to eat them, no matter what the rabbi says. Im not getting how someone can make such a mistake.

So when I thought the tables had turned, they didn't, and I was only fooled that they did, it was an optical illusion (or they turned invisible who really knows?). Well, now I cant wait for the next chumrah (Yaakov please come and end this 5 years early).

BUT ITS KOSHER

We all know to keep ourselves clean, and to protect ourselves from catching this virus called the swine flu. Even though this is a major problem and concern for everyone, a member of the knesset, who was chareidi, decided to first let you know that you shouldn't call it "swine flu" because swine means pig and pigs aren't kosher, before he said what we should do to protect ourselves; and instead let everyone know he decided to call it the Mexico flu, because that's so much better.

This so called problem of naming something after something that's not kosher, is just too weird, so its not kosher, but its not like we are eating the non kosher item by calling it that name, nor will we be tempted to eat non-kosher just because it has the same name. This problem does not only exist in this case, there has been times where I heard people complaining about animal crackers. Yes, animal crackers that are shaped as horses, or rabbits, maybe a lion and a bear, were scrutinized for being non kosher animals, even though the product was kosher. These people were afraid that we are teaching kids to eat non kosher animals, I think Peta has a better claim than them, teaching kids to kill animals through biting off their limbs, there is more of a chance of that than eating real non-kosher animals.

Ill end this with one question for those people out there who are afraid to name things after non kosher items, "Weren't the shivatim compared to lions, wolves, snakes, donkeys, and those aren't kosher animals?". I seem to think the question answers are problem, and there is no need to be afraid, for whatever reason. So instead, get up there and tell us how to protect ourselves, not how to be more stringent.

WERE GOING OVERBOARD.

This product claims to make things chametz free, because that's its name "chametz free". It uses plastic covers for door handles, faucets, cabinets, and anything else that has handles. As you can see on your picture to the right on the bottom, there is a doorknob with a cover on it, as I said before it claims to make things chametz free. Now why would you need to have your doorknobs chametz free?!!!!!!........ ! Your cabinets I can barely understand, and thats if they are in the kitchen. Faucets I don't understand, at all, because you can kosher a metal faucet, and its normal to do so. So why do you need them? the answer is, you don't, that's right you don't. Its all a conspiracy to get people to buy these stupid products, and this wasn't even made by Kosher Innovations. And that's bad, because now you will have two stupid companies fighting to come up with even stupider inventions, and us, the people will have to buy them because we may not be frum enough with out it. And it will all end up with a shadchan asking if you put covers on your doorknobs for Pesach, to determine if you are holy enough to be dealt with.

Yes we are going overboard, and somebody save us.

ANOTHER RANDOM COLLABORATION

Random thought #1.
According to the halachah that you don't have to return lost texting machines, what happens if: You are walking down the street, all of a sudden you see a nice blue blackberry, on the floor. You pick it up remember the halachah and are not going to return it. The someone comes by and asks, "did you find a black blueberry?" you answer "no", he moves on. Then someone comes over and asks, "did you find a blue blackberry?" you say "yes". The guy says "Well I lost it, it has my name on the back, see it says so and sostein (his name)". So the question is, do you not give it back, or do you chas v'shalom (g-d forbid) give back the tumah (impure) machine?

Rabbi Mike will now try to answer: Well in essence you are doing a mitzvah of hashavos aveidah, plus you might be in sakanos nefoshot ( threat of your life) if you dont. On the other hand, the mitzvah of hashavos aveidah maybe a mitzvah that comes through the aveirah of giving it back (it is wrong to do a mitzvah through an aveirah); also it might be worse to give it back, since he will surely kill himself by using the texting machine. Rabbi Mikes psak is a taiku (will find out when elijah the prophet comes).

Random thought #2.
Another useless invention invented by Kosher Innovations. The Machshavah shocker. Have you ever been sitting kollel, (not learning) or were in the outside world not protected by our inner sphere of influence, and have come across thinking of things not in Torah standards (e.g. buying a non-kosher cell phone). Now there is no need to worry, with the Machshavah shocker, if you think outside of Torah standards you will be immediately shocked with over 500 volts of electricity, enough to stop your heart............. from thinking of all these bad things !!!! fits under your hat. Order today! now with a 3 day guarantee, no refunds

Other posts related to this inventive topic: More great inventions, Introducing the latest in technology.

PURIM THEMES

What ever compelled people to have a theme for Purim? Purim is a time where themes were destroyed. V'nahapichu (vi-nuh-ha-pi-choo), meaning everything is turned upside down and all around; themes are the opposite of that, and no one cares, so lets move on.

Something you must know about a theme. It must have; objects relating to the theme (well duh!), shaloch manos in accordance to the theme, costumes have to be related, and cheesy greeting labels on the shaloch manos telling you who its from and some random thing about having a great Purim related to the theme (E.G. Your Purim theme is donuts, your greeting is "Do nuts on Purim" or "donut drink and drive on Purim if you had too much to know if you had too much"[this one is usually from the token hatzalah guy])

There is the clown theme. The clown theme is the most common theme for families; the father throws on a jester hat with bells, the kids all have the colorful hair and a big red nose, yellow polka dotted suits. The shaloch manos is not given out with some cheesy greeting (big exception), only a regular "Purim sameach from the somethingsteins" or "a freilichim Purim from the soandsomans". The shaloch manos is filled with anything that is remotely clownish, and there is no food that's remotely clownish, so they give a bottle of grape juice, animal crackers, chocolate and maybe a soda. The clown theme is not one of the best ones out there.

The Airplane theme. Better than the clown theme, the airplane theme has more variety and it practically writes itself. The kids can dress up as flight attendants or pilots. You know you are going to give airline food to everyone, with some complimentary peanuts. The cheesy greeting written can be "Hope you have sky high Purim feeling from the ........"

Then there is the I-just-knocked-off-a-famous-company-theme. Drunkin donuts, McDavid, Mendy's (wendys), Dairy Esther (dairy queen) etc.etc... these all are done in a stupid and yet clever way. The stupid, is the way they think of the names, and how the theme is just a non OUD kosher knock off of the real product. The clever, is how they present this too you; in a box or bag that is similar to the regular companies, but has there logo on it. The cheesy greetings have too many variables to write, but ill let you know something, they are all cheesy.

The Zionist theme: Cookies in a bag shaped like Israel with two big bites in them (resembling Gaza and west bank), with a note saying "Israel is like a cookie and everyone wants a bite out of it". Blue and white is the color used for the wrapping. The kids hold Israeli flags and have blue and white face paint. The greetings can have something like "may Israel triumph over its enemies as in the past" that's if they are really Zionist, or "With enough wine on Purim America can look like Israel too".

The recession theme: Has a bottle of wine stating "drown it out with this" and and some red hots with a label saying "Burn Bernie (Madoff) burn". The greeting goes like this "Madoff is the new haman". (I cant believe I even thought of this as a theme, its horrible).

The healthy food theme: Not much to explain, everyone dresses like vegetables, and no one wants their shaloch manot.

The color themes: The color theme is lame, even more so then the clown, but not as much as the healthy food one. My family did it 2 years in a row ( different colors). One year we did red and orange, everyone thought it was supposed to be fire, and the other year it was yellow, I was not to fond either one. The greeting can go like, depending on your color, "orange you glad its Purim" or "don't turn green this Purim" or "Esther was green shaded".

Then there is the I-Don't-have-a-theme-theme. Everyone dresses up as whatever they want, You give any normal wafers and grape juice out there. You write a poem or "chag sameach from us" and you're done.

Of course there are more themes out there, hospital, kitchen, just to mention a few, but you got the basic idea of themes. Personally I think themes stupid, I am more for the traditional give and get, not the I thought of something decent and, of course, cheesy. Hope this post has helped you think of a theme, or gave you ideas. P.S. The Zionist one was my idea, cookie and all, I wanted to use it this year, but you can use if you want.

ITS KOSHER ALL DAY LONG

Being that we live in a society that is advancing in the most treife ways, the only thing that can possibly save us from this is, new ways to put hechshers on every item (Yay!). Its the only possible way to save us from any sort of treif out in the world. I will now predict the future of us as Jews:


The First thing to come out of the newly installed kosher market will be, people Hechshers; because many times you talk to people, and you just cant seem to tell who is up to your standards at that moment, maybe they are hiding something, and do you want to be influenced by someone treif, especially on a shidduch date? obviously not. So how can we possibly find a person who is kosher enough; therefore, we are going to introduce the human hechsher. At first there will only be Kosher and non kosher people, but somewhere along the way more hechsheirm will come through. Some people will have FFBTD (Frum From Birth Till Death) status, like OU parve, while others will will have a FFBBL (Frum From Birth But Lacking), sort of like OUDe (dairy equipment). Then others will be labeled with OTDCBAHS ( Off The Derech Coming Back on After High School) that's an OUD. Now its easier to keep yourself kosher with labels on everybody, you wont come in contact with someone you don't want to. Of course there will be mashgichim going all around checking up on people. This is an attempt to "fix" the shidduch crisis.


Everyone will be so into hechsherim, that every school will also have to have a hechsher on it. Schools will either be marked with Treif, Ba'adatz, or Kaf K. Treif being; anything that has a secular department. Ba'adatz being; learning non-stop to kollel, and Kaf K will be somewhere in between but frowned upon. If you send your children to the wrong yeshivah then you will be second class citizen.


The next thing to be hit, will be the communities themselves. Williamsburg is going to the dogs, to hipsters and bicycle lanes, this placed is deemed too treif, and that means anyone who lives there is not kosher enough. This doesn't say much for places out of the tristate area, they are for sure not kosher. Boro park and Midwood is borderline kosher, why you might ask? well its obvious, they don't have separate sides to walk on for men and women. Lakewood eer hakodesh and Bnei brak are kosher. New square, kiriyas Yoel, meah shearim, and any other sorts of towns like that are the kosherist (meah shearim is its own town, if kiriyas yoel is its own country) . Of course if you live in the wrong community you are an out cast and not Jewish.

I'll end it with this: I always thought the caste system in India was exaggerated, but now my thoughts are changing.

MAKE MONEY FAST SCHEMES

In this tough economy, people need ways to make money. Here are some ways to get back into the middle class fast.

Scheme #1: Design your own kashrus. Who doesn't want another hechsher on their overpriced food? Now you can help people get what they want. Tips include: oval or round shaped insignias with Hebrew words that can fool any American Jew. Hire a mashgiach from another company; he does the same job for the other guys, for you, at the same time. Charge a minimum fee, and make things that aren't kosher, become "kosher".

Scheme #2: A Ponzi scheme. Tips include: don't get caught!

Scheme #3: Join a Kollel ( meant fore the non kollel participant ). Tips include: Wearing a white shirt, hat and jacket, and anything else that seems religious, except Magen David, Hamsa, a cross, or any necklace.

Scheme #4: Start your own Kollel, for yourself, and collect tons of money. Tips include: Fake documents with Rabbi signatures, saying to give to you, and your Kollel.

Scheme #5: A little like #4, but you collect with no reason. Tips Include:Observing and taking notes on all the others who already do this. Since it seems popular among most people, it might not be a great idea.

Scheme #6: Design a useless product aimed at helping the Jewish community. Tips include: adding the word kosher in front of it.

Scheme #7: Tell People if they invest in you, you will become frum. Tips Include: Acting off the "D", and preying on the dumb.

Scheme #8: Create and sell a scheme list. Tips include: Listing the ones I mentioned above.

If you have any other things to add please do so, the list can only get better.

MORE GREAT INVENTIONS

After coming out with, the pre cut toilet paper, and tefillin sweater, the company that made them, came out with a few other ideas.

The Mitzvah Muzzle. For all those times in middle of Chazaras hashatz, you feel you just need to talk. Don't worry any more with the Mitzvah Muzzle you wont be able to speak to anyone, helping you keep halacha. It also comes with garlic breath, to chase away those who wish to talk to you. If you Buy now, we will throw in the Lashon Hara Gag, for 50% off.

The Blinders. Have you ever walked anywhere besides Meah Shearim? Do you know how much Pritzus there is out there? With the Blinders you will be able to walk freely, without having to see anything immodest. This great device injects a green poison, into your eyes, every time something immodest passes bye, blinding you till it passes. Long term affects include complete blindness.

When was the last time you couldn't remember when you ate Fleishigs? Never will you have to remember. The Fleishig Alarm will tell you. All you have to do is press the "ate" button and automatically it will beep 6 hours later. It attaches to your belt, or fits in your pocket, or placed it on your dashboard in your car. Included in this offer, is The Milchig Alarm. It will beep five minutes after you ate to remind you, you can eat fleishigs.

We all know you have a Tallis bag. Introducing the Talis Kattan Bag. Store your tzitzis, in this useless item, over night. Available with name tags.

Hashgacha Bar Code Reader. Ever wonder which hasgachos are not deemed worthy enough to keep. With this new Hashgach Bar Code Reader you don't have to think at all. Just run the Hashgacha under the reader, and a sign will appear to tell if its worthy enough.

Remember if order within the next 10 minutes, you can get all this, at the low price of 399.9 (no that decimal is not in the wrong place, oh wait it is 3999.9).

If you thought these where useless, how about that Tefillin sweater they made, with Zipper sleeves. To tell you the truth I can roll up any sweater, no problem. If you have any other ideas share it, don't patent it.

INTRODUCING THE LATEST IN TECHNOLOGY!

Have you ever wondered what to buy someone, for Chanukah? Well now you don't have to look any further. Introducing the latest in modern technology...... The Kosher Phone. Years of modelling, and enhancing this scientific achievement, have come through for the average man. Previously used by the army in the gulf war! Equipped with nothing but what you actually need! It has no camera or text messaging abilities! One scientist who worked on this said "It took us five years (1984-1989) to develop this. Who knows what limits mankind can reach with this?" No more complicated phones. This is simple, and easy to use.

Get up to date with technology, and get The "new" Kosher Phone.

a non paid advertisement.

A RANDOMNESS COLLABORATION

1) The great rabbis of our time, who put out letters against lipa and others, have decided to put out a letter against racist comments on Obama and others (did I just compare Lipa to Obama?). Obviously its getting way out of hand.

2) Why is that most rabbis are fat? I just noticed, that for some reason they just are. I find it funnier, when they preach about over indulging, when it comes to food. "don't eat that extra piece/slice of kugel, kukish cake, pizza". Gets me thinking "what have they been doing?"

3) I have seen Kosher soap pads. Who needs for the pad to be kosher? I understand soap but whats a soap pad going to be made out of? Synthetics. Oh no! maybe the steel wool grew on a non kosher animal; that's why you need an certified OU (others hechsheirim also included) on it. here is a picture.

Got any other randomness out there.

POINTLESS BANS

There are so many bans that just weren't worth making. It could have been avoided just by the fact that there was already a ban on something else or on the same thing in a different way. A good pointless ban would be if I would ban using any types of motor vehicles as a use of transportation and then I go and ban cars. Throughout all the bans most are just the same in a different form.

The first of many pointless is the ban of cell phone Internet. Now anyone with at least the brains of a bird will tell you that the Internet on the phone is the same as the one on the computer. More on the Internet ban, there was banned (what you are reading right now) A BLOG, that's after the Internet was banned. The reason for it is, Blogs are only a lashon hara source. Then came MY space, youtube, facebook and many like this which were also banned.

Cell Phones themselves were banned. So now you can only have the most kosher of phones The kosher phone (certified with an OU made in a parve factory, The phone chocolate is OUD). That means No texts, No camera phones (especially video ones), No Internet. Why is texting bad what makes it wrong. Is it the fact that people don't spell correctly while texting? The yesivos nevr had uh probleam with speling rong. Camera Phones once again whats wrong with it? Maybe you'll take a picture of a non tzniyos woman. Well you can do that with a regular camera too. This is an example of another pointless ban and if they wanted a kosher phone just take away the Internet keep the texts and camera.Also this ban is one that has not been excepted by the Jewish community I see people on there blackberry's every few minutes.

Then they're bans that just never made had a basis. Banning the bike lanes in Williamsburg is a foolish one. First what are you going to do about it? Two what is there to ban, banning non Jews? Next up is an Israeli one. In Israel if you go to Kollel (I did not write learn in kollel for a reason) you are not allowed to learn how to drive a car and if you already know how to gezunte hait. The reason for it being maybe you will drive to a place a Jew shouldn't be in. You could walk there or take the Eged bus (really not getting this one). The texting and camera phone problem also falls into this category of Baseless Bans.

The triple filtered water washing lettuce is not a Baseless Ban. Its not necessary since we don't make a Gezeira on a Gezeira. First Gezeira being wash them they have bugs. Second is use triple filtered water. Also a practice in halacha is that if it (something we might object to) wasn't stopped when it began then we cant stop it now. The strawberries are subject to this category.

Pointless, Baseless, Non Necessary bans are whats driving people to think that our rabbanim have lost it. I heard once why they do this. The rabbanim don't really know whats going on but their people who tell them about these things distort it. You know whats a big Question after they banned all these mentioned and more...... why did they not take act and join with Hikind?

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF...

What would happen if the OU would lose its reputation of being a good hechsher? No good they're serving us treif, their rabbis took some bribes and let things slide. Or they didnt checkup on all their company's they watch. Maybe they were lenient to let the company's be able to meet the requirements. Whatever the case maybe what would happen?

At first the newspapers would go crazy about this making it the front page headlines for all except for the Jewish Press which would put something about Israel on the front (or tie it into israel somehow). The Hamodia, Yated and Mishpacha would all write its a "horrible thing to happen its a big disgrace to the Jewish community" and would bash the OU Saying " it was never really any good. The JP would defend the OU " the OU served the community for so long even though this scandal happened and it was a chilul hashem they will come back and fix it to serve the Jewish community once again".

Then onto people. They (we) would all be putting up different sides. One side would say it was all just a few people who were fired for this. The other side condemning anyone who eats OU to hell. Many people will be wondering whats a good hechsher. Some will be forced to have only the strictest of kashrut since the OU was the most lenient they trusted. Some already had the strictest of kashrut and would only want stricter. Others after this episode will only want the strictest, because who can you trust? On the other hand many will say what was wrong with other less stringent Kashrut than the OU before now, so they are still okay after.... right? What will the airlines serve for their Special Kosher Deluxe Meal. Then will come the Bans and chumros which in the end will call for quadrupled filtered lettuce and only Ba'adatz.

Are we not lucky that this didn't and hopefully wont happen? Are we not lucky for the OU is working hard all day to keep things available to us? Are we not? Yes, we are.

Dedicated to the hardworking people at the OU.