Rating The Midwood Bakeries Again

I came back to write this post since I assumed you all loved reading my adventures from bakery to bakery enjoy the post.

Yes once again I'm rating the bakeries of Midwood (see how I just rephrased the title). I pay the price so you don't get it wrong when it comes to your big event, and the only job you had to do was bring the Sufganiot (Israeli styled jelly doughnuts). This year has been a little tough on my taste buds with two place that Ive never tried both being disappointments.

Rose Bakery on kingshighway and east 7Th (not to be confused with the kingshighway bakery on kingshighway and east 4Th which is heavenly) was one of those disappointments. At a dollar a piece this sufgania had a bland tasting dough, with literally a teaspoon of jelly in the middle. The official rating from 1 out of 10 is a four (that's right my ratings are copyright).

The next failure was so bad that I couldn't bring myself to finish the sufgania. Now I have been from Boro Park to the deepest parts of Midwood and there hasn't been one place that I couldn't finish the jelly filled delicacy, but VENETIAN KOSHER SWEETS on the corner of N and Coney Island avenue, you took that away from me today. It was simply so bad that my whole family left it in disgust. The jelly tasted like some weird thick concoction and the dough itself was bland. At a dollar fifty a piece this place makes Rose Bakery look great. The official rating is 1 don't go near this, you've been warned.

Happy Hanuka to all, now I'm going to scrape the taste off my tongue with some home made latkes.

Pizza Store Conversations

Some people go to a Starbucks to drink coffee and get wifi so they can keep up with every ones lives on twitter or facebook. Others get the coffee and wonder about what everyone else is thinking. I'm telling you that if you really want to know what others are thinking and/or want to get the latest buzz on someones life then walk into a Brooklyn pizza store, its as simple as that.

It just so happens to be that this very concept was rudely thrust into my face when I went for pizza the other day with an acquaintance. I sat down behind a guy, probably in his late 20's early thirties, talking to his mother. I didn't even have to turn around to try and figure out what he was talking about or check his status to find out whats the big issue in his life, he simply told me. Okay not really told me, but he said it loud enough for anyone to hear, so its as if he told me.

Me and my acquaintance didn't feel like hearing about his whole life, but this is how it went. He was arguing with his mother over his fathers estate, although it didn't sound like his father was dead yet. He went on to explain how his father treats him like dirt and doesn't invite him to football games. His mother tried telling him that that's not true, but he knew the truth. At one point they were talking about someone else who they knew and did not have a father, and somehow loud mouth in a pizza shop didn't want to "share" his own father with someone else. His mother tried to convince him that this guy needs a father, to which he persistently said " I have a father why should I give up mine to help him out just because he doesn't have one, its not my fault". At this point me and my acquaintance were scratching our heads, didn't he just say that his father treats him like dirt? It went on and on, constantly arguing back and forth on every single subject about family and money to doctors, lawyers and psychologists, and that wasn't the mother boasting about of her sons accomplishments. My acquaintance was speculating about telling them to just shut up because no one wants to hear it, I said I would take a video if he did for proof, it didn't happen in the end and we just left. We did try to make our own little argument to hint to them that arguing in public is rude, and that didn't work too well.

Ahem, right, so getting back to the point if you really want to do what it is i wrote in the opening paragraph, then a Brooklyn pizza store is the place. Do you have any stories of weird conversations you might have been forced to listen to? do tell.

THE SUFGANIOT RATER IS IN

Tomorrow marks the first day of Chanukah and I already jumped into the Hanukkah spirit (see that's 2 different spellings of the holiday, does it really matter how you spell it), with my first two Sufganiot. They were from Isaac's bake shop on Ave. J between east 14th and 15th, and it was much like last year, still a dollar fifty and still rated a 7 (out of ten) and the service was a little slow but friendly. The Sufgania had some good jelly a decent pocketful I might add, the dough was a little dry but for 1.50 it shouldn't have been. Over all its rated a six.

I originally didn't want to go there, I was heading for Ostrovitsky's on east 12th, but they were sold out! that's right sold out before the first night. Being that I liked them last year and wanted to check out their service which I never got to, and they were only a dollar 25 I assumed they would be my best bet. I was disappointed and instead I headed to Isaac's bake shop.

In front of Isaac's they had a sign "Home made donuts, sufganiot (in Hebrew), sold here". Two things wrong with that. One, sufganiot are correctly translated as Israeli styled jelly donuts not home made, and even according to most Sufganiot am ha'aratzim they call it jelly donuts nothing about home made. And two, how could it be home made if its in a bakery?! I got no answers to that.

Yes people just like last year I will test my stomach of steel, and to those who wish to come and join me on my trips to try all the bakeries, (ahem) G6 (cough) Sally hazel, just give me shout, Child ish you in for another round? As always if you have any specific suggestions for me do tell, because I'm here to pay the price so you get it right.

MIDWOOD AS ONLY AN INTERNET NEWSITE CAN PORTRAY

I found this on Vos iz neias, its a whole article on Midwood in Brooklyn. Read and then wonder why we have that brooklyn attitude.

Brooklyn, NY - Many blocks in Midwood, with its rows of orderly detached homes and private driveways, give the feeling of a carefully planned suburb - a serene surprise after turning off a thoroughfare like Coney Island Avenue or Ocean Parkway.

But closer inspection reveals that the landscape has, in fact, been altered: on virtually every block, at least one or two homes have been significantly expanded - built up, built out, even built down.

The larger homes blend in as best they can with their smaller neighbors, but their oversized shadows are hard to miss: they are evidence of the wealth and the larger families that a thriving Orthodox Jewish population has brought to Midwood in recent years.

"Midwood has always been Jewish, but it wasn't always Orthodox," said David Maryl, a broker at Jacob Gold Realty. "Now for every family that's moving out, it's an Orthodox family moving in."

Brooklyn's Community Board 14, which covers the eastern half of Midwood, fields several home expansion requests each month from the area, said Alvin M. Berk, the board's chairman.

He said the board first noted the steady trickle of requests about eight years ago and now handles about 30 a year. "This seems to be a fairly high rate of building expansion," he said. "But there's generally no opposition - maybe just some concerns about a proposed enlargement reducing a neighbor's light and air." But applicants often make concessions to ease those concerns, he added.

Rather than building a larger home, Bill and Diana Spiegel bought one. They've moved about a mile east. "We love the area," Mr. Spiegel said.

They walk more than a mile each way to attend the synagogue in their old area, because "we have a little separation anxiety," he said. But on their way, they probably pass more than a dozen synagogues; they will probably switch to one nearby once the weather turns cold. "It seems like there's a real sense of community here, and they welcome you," Mr. Spiegel said.

Brokers say that Orthodox families first moved into Midwood about 25 years ago as they were priced out of Borough Park, a better established Orthodox neighborhood to the west. Nowadays, Midwood is "very sought after, because people want to be near family and friends, a yeshiva or a synagogue affiliation," said Sora David, a broker with Eisberg Lenz Real Estate. Being within walking distance of a synagogue is critical for those who observe Orthodox Jewish laws forbidding driving and other activities on the Sabbath.

There are dozens of synagogues and many yeshivas scattered throughout Midwood. Some Hasidic synagogues, known as shtibls, are in single-family homes where the rabbi might live upstairs and the congregation might meet on the first floor.

Mr. Berk says synagogues are allowed as of right in any residential zone. But many of them have growing congregations that eventually require more space. He said that the community board had fielded and helped approve many applications for variances to turn houses into larger synagogues.

Midwood lies south of Flatbush and Brooklyn College, and north of Marine Park. Its eastern and western borders have expanded in recent years, pushing out to McDonald Avenue on the west and Flatbush Avenue on the east. "As people have moved in, they've expanded the boundaries," said Raizy Brisman, the owner of Brisman Realty.

Between Nostrand and Flatbush Avenues, younger Orthodox families first moved into the East 30s about five years ago; prices were lower there than in the East 20s and East 10s, she said. That area used to be considered part of Flatbush or East Flatbush, she said, "but it's all semantics. It's called Midwood now, because if you called it East Flatbush, the value for it would be less."

Most homes sit on 40-by-100-foot lots and were built in the early part of the 20th century. The vast majority are detached single-family homes, but there are some two-families, as well as some semiattached and attached houses. There are also some rental and co-op buildings along parts of Avenue K and Ocean Parkway.

Brokers refer to an exclusive pocket between East Seventh and East Ninth Streets, running from Avenue I to Avenue K, as Midwood Manor. Many of its homes are on larger lots, and "it's more manicured and very sought after," said Abraham Steinmetz, the owner of Steinmetz Real Estate. "But there's very little available there. You're lucky to see one or two houses available in a year."

The neighborhoods known as Midwood Park, West Midwood and South Midwood are all actually north of Midwood proper and were developed as parts of Victorian Flatbush.

During the recent building boom, developers tore down some single-family homes along Ocean Avenue and off Ocean Parkway and replaced them with six-unit condominiums. But brokers say that because the condos are primarily made up of one- and two-bedroom apartments, they do not appeal to large Orthodox families and have not sold well, although some units have sold to Russian immigrants.

The area is mostly residential, with a few commercial streets. Yeshivas and synagogues often blend right in - in unassuming converted office buildings or on strictly residential streets.

Brokers say that prices in Midwood have dropped 10 to 15 percent in the last year. Homes tend to sell by word of mouth, and at any given time, there are only about 40 homes on the market.

An attached home on a busy street can sell for $400,000 to $500,000, but detached homes start at $600,000 and run over $2 million, depending on its size. Most houses in the East 20s, considered the oldest part of Midwood, are detached, with three to five bedrooms and private driveways, and sell for over $1 million.

The larger homes in Midwood Manor start at about $2 million and run above $5 million.

Along Ocean Parkway, one-bedroom co-ops sell for less then $200,000, two-bedrooms for about $250,000. On Ocean Avenue, one-bedroom condos sell for about $275,000, two-bedrooms $400,000.

Most Orthodox children attend local yeshivas. The Yeshiva of Flatbush is perhaps the best known, with classes from preschool through high school.

Midwood's appeal is its quiet residential quality. On school days, yellow buses fill the streets, ferrying children to and from their different yeshivas. Traffic along the shopping strips on Avenues J and M can be downright dangerous, as drivers double-park to get their shopping done. But the streets grow quiet at sundown on Friday, with the start of the Sabbath, and most stores stay shuttered until Sunday.

Avenue J's commercial strip, between Coney Island Avenue and East 16th Street, is filled with kosher restaurants, delis and bakeries. Di Fara Pizza, at East 15th Street, harks back to Midwood's more Italian past. It's known for its $5 slice, handmade with imported ingredients by the pizzeria's septuagenarian founder, Domenico DeMarco. Avenue M's shops run from Ocean Avenue to Ocean Parkway. In addition to kosher pizzerias and kosher and Russian supermarkets, the street has discount stores and chains like Godiva.

Coney Island Avenue, a much wider thoroughfare, has a range from auto repair shops and carwashes to ladies' wig shops, Judaica stores and kosher restaurants. Among these are Schnitzi, a schnitzel bar; and Carlos and Gabby's, a Mexican grill. Food bloggers compare Pomegranate, a gleaming new kosher supermarket, to Whole Foods.

Hmmm it doesnt seem to end there but oh well.

TREKKING UP TO THE MOUNTAINS

Almost everybody on the block rented a u-haul, stuffed it up, and then traveled to the mountains this week. It was a site to see, parents calling out kids names to see if they left anything behind, trying to figure out how to squish in another suitcase and sheitel, O' it was a blast. Don't think that was the only reason I liked this week. In addition to watching them pack up I also saw them pack out of Brooklyn, which means MORE PARKING!!! spaces! LESS CROWDED SUPERMARKETS!!!

Why am I celebrating so hard? well have you ever tried looking for parking for 45 minutes? or was pissed off that someone took up two spots instead of one? or have someone blocking your driveway for a "minute"? Do you like the double parking on Coney Island ave.? my answer is no, and that is why I am so happy.

Have you ever walked into Moishe's discount supermarket with a pushcart, and tried to maneuver yourself out of one jam only to move into another, its just too crowded there (that's why I like Pomegranate better, but I don't go there often, its expensive). And forget about Thursday nights, its complete havoc in there. What I hate most are the spaced out bluetooth wearers, they just yap away about whatever and it can take a while before they realize they are in your way. Ooh and some are so stuck up, looking to see which is a better tomato sauce, pick one already and stop blocking the aisle.

But that is all over, those extra crowded supermarkets are gonna be upstate where I ain't, and parking will be a breeze, thank g-d for this wonderful idea of a summer retreat.

ON PATROL

Today me and my friend took a stroll through boro(ugh) park. We were schmoozing it up, having tons of fun, laughing at chassidish women with 10 children following behind them and over stuffed strollers. Watching chassidim hitch rides across boro(ugh) park. Guessing how many hatzoloh and shomrim members we can identify. Then we looked for a new game, one that was fun an easy to play. We made up a new game called "name the chossid". Basically, whenever you see a chassid, you have to correctly call them "Tuna beigel" or "Yoeli", then you can argue whether they fit the category of tuna beigel or yoeli. Its very easy to identify a TB, if they have a cigarette, or they aren't wearing any black clothing, or they have a ring of useless keys with 400 keys or so, or they came out of a Cadillac Escalade or Chevy Tahoe or even a Lexus. Some where in between both categories and hard to tell what side they leaned towards.

I had a lot of fun and would do it again, it beats any day watching baseball.

WERE SO BAD WE MADE THE NEWS

Okay maybe not international news, or even national news, but since most Jews live in the tri-state area, we made it there; because vos iz neias wrote about it and Jews read vos iz neias (yes we only made vos iz neias that's how bad we are, its still news). You do know that in Brooklyn its almost impossible to park, we as Brooklynites will fight tooth and nail for our spots. Many a times we have to fend off bad neighbors who try to save spots, or take up two spaces with one car, either way its a nightmare here in Brooklyn. Well you can congratulate yourselves now that we finally made the news with this daily occurrence, a guy fought (with hands and feet, not tooth and nail like the rest of us) for a parking space and then was arrested for it. Some will say "hey it was bound to happen sooner or later", others will say "Why fight over a parking spot, I just double park". But do you really want to be known as the borough of bad parking? then we got to get our act together and be more considerate of others.

It may seem from the last few sentences that I am calling on everyone to make a difference in Brooklyn, but I know better than that, people will never be more considerate just because I am calling for it, especially in Brooklyn.

INCOMING!!!

Thank you for tuning into Mike Tonight, in news tonight.

A new ban is in motion. No one saw it coming, although you should have. The great Rabbonim of Brooklyn have decided to band together, to ban all unyeshivish kippot, in an attempt to stop yeshivah rebels from wearing downsized kippot.

"All religious stores are hereby ordered to rid the shelves of anything less than a size 5 yarmulke", it said on the rabbi signed document. It has been reported that a store in Brooklyn did not comply with the terms, and is being looted as we speak. Are very own David Spiegler is at the scene. "Hi Mike, behind me there is looting at this 18th avenue store. Broken glass, and fire, people have been taking all religious articles ranging from kiddush cups to kosher lamps from this store, all for not ridding itself of size four and down kippot. I spoke to the owner of the store he said he tried to reconsider before the looters took over, he said he will comply from now on". "Thank you David" One Rabbi was recorded saying "The smaller the kippah, the more they smoke; its better to have bigger kippot". We asked civilians on the streets what they think about this, one said "I agree 100%, I only hope it will be a kaporah for k'lal yisroels avonos".

But not everybody is so enthusiastic about this new ban. Some have been setting up a protest, set for next week, to stop this "tragedy", as they call it. One person said "The Rabbonim should be listened to, I believe in da'as torah, but sometimes they are wrong". Some people are afraid that if there aren't any size 2 and 1 kippot, then the yeshivah rebels might not wear any at all, causing them to never stop smoking.

That's it for tonight I'm Mike In Midwood. dunt dunt dunt dunt dunnunununt (backround music).

ITS KOSHER ALL DAY LONG

Being that we live in a society that is advancing in the most treife ways, the only thing that can possibly save us from this is, new ways to put hechshers on every item (Yay!). Its the only possible way to save us from any sort of treif out in the world. I will now predict the future of us as Jews:


The First thing to come out of the newly installed kosher market will be, people Hechshers; because many times you talk to people, and you just cant seem to tell who is up to your standards at that moment, maybe they are hiding something, and do you want to be influenced by someone treif, especially on a shidduch date? obviously not. So how can we possibly find a person who is kosher enough; therefore, we are going to introduce the human hechsher. At first there will only be Kosher and non kosher people, but somewhere along the way more hechsheirm will come through. Some people will have FFBTD (Frum From Birth Till Death) status, like OU parve, while others will will have a FFBBL (Frum From Birth But Lacking), sort of like OUDe (dairy equipment). Then others will be labeled with OTDCBAHS ( Off The Derech Coming Back on After High School) that's an OUD. Now its easier to keep yourself kosher with labels on everybody, you wont come in contact with someone you don't want to. Of course there will be mashgichim going all around checking up on people. This is an attempt to "fix" the shidduch crisis.


Everyone will be so into hechsherim, that every school will also have to have a hechsher on it. Schools will either be marked with Treif, Ba'adatz, or Kaf K. Treif being; anything that has a secular department. Ba'adatz being; learning non-stop to kollel, and Kaf K will be somewhere in between but frowned upon. If you send your children to the wrong yeshivah then you will be second class citizen.


The next thing to be hit, will be the communities themselves. Williamsburg is going to the dogs, to hipsters and bicycle lanes, this placed is deemed too treif, and that means anyone who lives there is not kosher enough. This doesn't say much for places out of the tristate area, they are for sure not kosher. Boro park and Midwood is borderline kosher, why you might ask? well its obvious, they don't have separate sides to walk on for men and women. Lakewood eer hakodesh and Bnei brak are kosher. New square, kiriyas Yoel, meah shearim, and any other sorts of towns like that are the kosherist (meah shearim is its own town, if kiriyas yoel is its own country) . Of course if you live in the wrong community you are an out cast and not Jewish.

I'll end it with this: I always thought the caste system in India was exaggerated, but now my thoughts are changing.

RATING THE MIDWOOD BAKERIES part 2

Korns Bakery on Coney and Avenue N. The price was 1.20 (if I'm not mistaken). Taste was a 6 (out of 10). Service wasn't bad. Over all a 6. I didn't hate it, the taste of the dough was not as oily as I wanted, the confection sugar put a cover on that, but pretty good. It was the jelly that really ticked me off. I searched and searched, but all I could find was just a little jelly that wasn't enough to satisfy one mouth, but only through a miracle could it satisfy 8. Seriously be generous on the jelly.

Pressers on M between east 17th and east 18th. Frumskeptic I have to disagree. The way you judged them, made them seem as if they stunk beyond belief. Well they weren't bad. The dough was was good, and the jelly was okay it felt just a little clumped or congealed. the price was good at 1.10, even the service was good. Everything was good but not great. Taste is a high 6 ( I need more numbers), overall an 8.

Weiss's Bakery on M and 13th (corner). Price 1.25 a sufgania. The taste was great, I had myself licking my fingers. Tons of jelly, the dough was soft and moist. Service was nice. Taste was an 8 overall a 9. I liked it, hat tip to Sally Hazel.

Isaac's Bake Shop on J and East 14th between east 15th. A Nice place. the service was friendly, The taste was good; It wasn't that small nor that big. Jelly was tasty, At 1.50 I believe, I don't think it was worth it, or I was just full. Taste was 7, overall 6 0r 7 (depending if you count my being full).

A bakery (i think its called elis muffins) on the corner of 14th and J. The service was bad, I kept seeing looks of impatience, I asked for a jelly donut (person looked Asian, didn't think they would know hat a sufganiot is) and made a hand gesture (like most jews). She said its not going to be that small. Hey, I asked for something, I didn't want to know how big it was. I guess she probably thought I was pointing to something, it was pretty big. Cost 1.25. Jelly was congealed (I like it flowing). At first I thought it was okay, then dough was too dry, seemed like it was fried in glue. Taste was a 4. over all a 3.

Ostrovitsky's bakery on the corner of 12th and J. I didn't go in, so I don't know about the service. 1.25 it was. The jelly poured out, I bit into the wrong side and dropped some. I still had enough to fill my desire. Dough was moist, and a deep pocket of jelly. Taste was a 9, over all yet to be determined( and probably never will be).

Next Time, I'm off to Boro Park and all their bakeries, any special requests will be included. Ah freilichin Chanukah.

RATING THE MIDWOOD BAKERIES part 1

Its Chanukah. So its time to eat all the sufganiot you can. Instead of wasting your money on places that have low class sufganiot, I did that for you.

Famous Pita on Coney Island Avenue: they go for 1.50 a piece. They are stingy on the jelly, pretty small pocket. Service seems good, although I went when nobody was around. The taste was a 5 (out of 10), and over all I rate it with a 4.

Pita Sababa(h) on kings highway and east 4th: 1.25 a piece. They have tons of filling, a big pocket full of it, best jelly, are hot, steamy,and pretty big. Service was quick. Taste was a 10. Over all a 10. If you are going to only one place, you go here.

J2 on M and east 15th: It went for 1.25. the jelly was smeared on (something I dont know what, maybe a bagel), not injectd, absolutely no pocket. It opened like a bagle. they had to heat it up before giving me it. taste was a 4 and over all, the rate is a 2.

Schreibers on M and east 31st: Pretty small, only a dollar. The jelly was good, not a big pocket. Service was good. Taste was a 6. over all the rate is a 7.

When I was at Schreibers, there was this one guy who was ordering. He was talking on his phone, trying to get down the order. Every few seconds, he would be changing the order around. Dude, how a bout getting your order together before you go in. Lucky for me, the guy behind the counter knew how to run things wel,l and got it all together. Right before this guy is about to leave he says, "Wait, none of those had powder". He was literally about to make the guy repack everything, after how hard he worked. In the end he didn't, and just left, allowing yours truly, to order.

Maybe Ill check out Boro Park too.

I AM SO THANKFUL

There are 10 things I am thankful for, and there isn't a better day to give thanks; than, Thanks Giving.

1) I am thankful for not making up the name Thanks Giving, for it is the source of ridicule. Who doesn't think its a stupid name. How about Give Thanks that sounds better.

2) The fact that I am living a very happy life.

3) I am an active person, so I am thankful I never broke or sprained a bone in my body.

4) For my Family (of course).

5) Friends.

6) That I live in Midwood, where a Kosher turkey is easy to find. (regardless of the prices)

7) This blog which is running over a half a year (yay! halfaversary.)

8) All you wonderful commenter's .

9) That I am not being held hostage in India. G-d Help.

10) That I have a day to get all my thoughts straight, on what to be thankful for.

11)What I am not thankful for: The old lady downstairs playing really bad Arabic music really loud.

WHY SO MEAN?!

Today I was running a little late. I rushed out of the building as fast as I could. I went to the spot, where I would wait for my ride. I looked around and noticed it had left. Shoots!. So I go back to the building, hoping a nice frum Jew will gladly take me to my destination. I see a guy come out and I ask him if he is going to flatbush (Midwood). He tells me "no". This goes on for quite a while. One guy said "no but its on my way", and then didn't let me hop on in. Chutzpah.

After, a nice frum Jew I knew let me in; I came to the realization that, Frummies are not nice people. I had known this beforehand, but now it has became an instinct. I have written about frummies saying derogatory slurs against other races, but now its even their own race (not the derogatory slurs). I am lost upon all this confusion, whether to trust frummies, or not to. To think like how I grew up, or to except the recent events as normal. Some guidance could do.

PARKING IN BROOKLYN. AH CHUTZPA.

Do not attempt. Trying to park in Brooklyn (mainly the Jewish areas Midwood, Borough Park) is a painful experience. There is only one worse than trying to find parking on a regular day and that is trying to find parking on a Friday.

You try finding parking on "J" in Midwood. Highly unlikely unless you come between the hours of 3-6 AM. Not only you cant find parking but you can hardly drive through "J". With the B11 and B6 coming through all the time and the usual double parked Coca Cola or Pepsi truck it makes it a really hard avenue. So in the case you see a spot across the street open up, you aren't going to get it. Oh and none of the stores on "J" have Valet Parking.

Ave. "M" is not as bad as "J". Especially now that Glatt Mart has gotten Valet Parking. But as G-d giveth G-d taketh so now Mountain fruit which had a parking lot, lost its privilege. A funny thing about Mountain fruit is that they also had valet parking. Now that they don't have the parking lot, all the Mexicans who parked the cars previously, are now are just sitting around and be paid for it (very little of course). So all of ave. "M" is really crowded and there is hardly any place to park.

If I do find a place to park I keep to it and wont move until I am done shopping on that avenue. Many times I have to put bags into the car and everyone thinks I am getting out of the spot. So I have to tell them "I am not getting out just putting some groceries in the car". They then look at me as if I am doing something illegal and they move on. If you do see a spot open in back of you, hurry in reverse to get to the spot. I almost ran over a lady like this (sorry).

My block is also the worst thing to try to park on. I have to go around the block 5 times at least before a spot opens up. I also have people who take up two spots instead of being considerate and parking like humans. Its horrible out there. You want to hear some real Chutzpa, take this story.

I was on Coney Island avenue and was trying to get into the Buzz. So I see a car pulling out and I move ahead to do some parallel parking. The spot behind this car pulling out was a pump. So I am about to back in when a Chossid in a minivan zooms into my spot through the empty pump area. I was about to get out of my car and give this guy a handful. Then a spot in front the Chossid opens. So I say "well at least there is another spot, forget the Chossid". You will never believe what he does next. After I moved up to do the parallel parking (again) he drives into the spot I was going to go in. So he cuts me twice. Now I was ready to give it to him. So I pull into the spot he just left open between the pump and him. So I get out of my car and I say "what was that for?!!!" (here is the punchline) He tells me as his excuse "My wife just had a baby". WTF!!! so your wife just had a baby. What am I supposed to say Mazal Tov why did you cut me off? Talk about Chutzpa.

Like I said before. Do not attempt parking in Brooklyn. Take mass transit.

SHABBOS GREETING ETIQUETTE

A common Jewish practice is to say good Shabbos to someone who is also Jewish as they pass by. Many adhere to this idea while others do not. You may think this is as easy as pie. All you have to do is say "good Shabbos". Right?. Well its not. To be of Shabbos greeting etiquette, you should be within 2 street boxes away from the person coming towards you. If not it seems as if you're jumping out ahead and acting as if you know the guy. You only jump out ahead and act like you know the guy, if you really know the guy. For example, you scream across the street to someone "GOOD SHABBOS" and then cross to speak with them. In that case you can break the 2 box rule. Cases where you don't say good Shabbos are. When the persons head is turned the other way. If you do try you will be ignored. Saying good Shabbos to someone who is too close or passed you already is another thing you don't do. In most cases you do say good Shabbos so try to keep it simple and smooth don't rush it. There are times people don't say it back so don't be alarmed.

Some things you should know about the Shabbos greeting etiquette. When there are two people talking to each other don't interfere. If they are just walking together and not saying anything it is okay to do so. Many people are skeptical about saying it to a woman if they are a man or vice-a-verse. I do not have a problem and say good Shabbos to all. Now Saying good Shabbos to someone in Midwood should come with a warning label. Every other person doesn't have the decency to wish you a good Shabbos back. Once in a while will someone say it clearly enough to be heard while all the other times its just a murmur or nothing at all. One week I was in the country and so I was shocked to actually hear friendliness in everyone's voices.

Another category is Yom Tov. Do you say "gut yuntif" or "Chag Sameach" or even good Yom Tov? Personally I don't say good Yom Tov (who does?). I will say "gut yuntif" to a Jew with a black hat or streimel. To those that wear kippah sruga or are tzioni/Israeli its a Chag Sameach.

Now that you are a expert in Shabbos greeting etiquette. You can brag to your friends about all that you know and how low class they are or you can test it out on people. I'd go with the bragging.

POMEGRANATE

On the corner of AVE. L and Coney Island AVE. there is a new store opening. Its name is Pomegranate. I don't think I could pick a better name for it. Its just Pomegranate no special reason for it. Maybe "The Pomegranate" would be better, but what would it symbolize. Besides that its got its name in big red letters with a picture of a pomegranate on it and for some odd reason they put up their address 1507 in big red letters too, probably so you don't forget where they are located.

Where it is located used to be many different stores. One was "THE BIGGEST PESACH STORE EVER". (that's its name that whole capitalized thing). It was opened all year long. That's a good reason why it closed down. Before that there was a sukkah store it also shut down for the same reason. You are most likely thinking "no it was sukkah store half the year and the other Pesach" well sorry these stores were opened for at least a whole year both. (not together, independently)

About this new store Pomegranate, I don't have a clue what is going to be. I am getting tons of different information about it and each person is telling me about how they "personally" know the owner. They give me a gantze megillah about how the know a guy who knows another guy who has a brother that went to the country with another guy who knows the owner of this place, and I'm wondering how they personally know him.

So one person says its a mall with a bunch of little Jewish stores in it. Another says its a big supermarket like Walmart. Once I got this answer that its going to be this huge complex, with a grocery store in it and a fleishig restaurant with a bakery and a Dougies or another famous Jewish eatery and probably a sweet choice (which is right next door anyway). This last one I am doubting but who knows.

I usually am not the one to know things right away.There are those who do, they are the machers I am not one. Does anyone really know what its going to be? and please state a source from where you know it. With a name like Pomegranate you never know what its going to be.

JEWS AND BAGELS

The great stereotype is that Jews love bagels. It happens to be that we do. The reason may lie in the fact that you could put just about anything on a bagel. There is lox, tuna, cream cheese, cream cheese and lox, and probably more things to put on a bagel besides these. Then there is what type of bagel you could have plain, poppy seed, onion (I think its an onion roll) , and an everything bagel. with so many choices how could you not want one?

The origin of lox was in Europe. It came with the herring which I love. These two go hand in hand, herring comes by a kiddush and the lox come by the 3rd meal on shabbos. (shalosh seudos or shalish shudis which ever you prefer). There are great bagel stores in Brooklyn. There is Ave. M bagels on Ave. M. Then there is Bagel hole on 15th and J also one on coney and K. On a normal morning/ right before noon, Bagel hole is packed but the wait is worth it since they got the best tuna around. I also hear Brooklyn Bagels tuna is good but I never tasted it.

Many times the service is terrible. You could be waiting even though there is no one on line. Someone shows up and asks you what you want. They then leave you waiting, thinking they are going to get what you asked for. Someone else shows up behind the counter and asks you the same thing.(a lot of possibilities end up from here). You end up waiting 10 minutes from your busy lives from what could have been only two. These places also have the most health violations.

I was once in a store and I asked for a cream cheese bagel. Then I said "can I have olives with it" The guy says "NO!". What kind of person says no. Its not like there wasnt any olives right there, but yet he still said no. I was thinking I should say "Okay then I am not buying it". I just didnt feel like saying that. (was I being nice or lazy?) Anyway, I am not going there again.

If you are ever at a siyum you know the main thing serve is bagels with tuna or lox spread. This only proves my bagel theory. There is even blogs with bagels in their names. For example, Bagel blogger and Krum as a bagel. Some people take the whole Jews and bagels shinanugin too far but it does exist. (Shavous is great for bagels with cream cheese, its Milchig).

MIDWOOD OR FLATBUSH

A long time mistake by the many Jews who live in Midwood is to call it Flatbush. I have no clue where this came in but it has definately stuck. Recently I heard people calling it Flatbush Midwood. If you look in at any store (non Jewish) they say Midwood but only the Jews call it Flatbush. The area Midwood covers if youre familiar with the area is from between ave. H and Foster ave. to around ave. S and from Mcdonald ave till Nostrand Ave. From Foster till further north is Flatbush. Maybe now we could call it by its original name ( I had means to write this earlier but I never put much thought into it, this would be a good post for you to put in your 2 cents about anything)

THE TRIP BEFORE PESACH

It happened the Thursday before Pesach. My family was going out to eat at a famous restaurant joint on eighteenth Ave. and Coney Island. My phobic brother begins tensing up over how crowded the place is and procedes to inject negative comments every so often ranging from how there's no way we are getting a table to the food itself. I was suprised to see how many chassidim filled the place but anyhow, I assertively grab the next free table. My brother though, continues his negativity complaining that the place is a mosh pit? Personally, I was unfamiliar with the term. He was still going on asking how we could possibly eat there what with the guys behind the counter using their hands to then dump the food on the plates. Annoyed with his attitude, everyone decided we should just leave. (Why we felt driven to actually leave because of him I still cannot figure out.)

My brother decided we should go for pizza instead. (That would make it the fifth night in a row having pizza.) At half past ten I exclaim that there is no way the place he wants to go to is open but he reasons that no place in their right mind would close anytime before one AM on erev Pesach. For some reason though we find ourselves actually heading to the pizza place passing a Shnitzel place on the way. I suggested we just go there but apparently that place was his third choice. Nevermind that it was open, avaible, relatively empty and right there... So we get to the pizza place and it was of course closed. (Beleive it or not it's one of the few pizza joints left selling two dollar slices.) We leave and find ourselves passing a kosher Subway. At that point I was willing to eat anything and exclaimed that we just go there... At the end of this whole fiasco we end up in good old dependable Pizza Nosh. We finally got a pie, and went home.

I guess we were destined to have pizza every night that week. (I don't think I could look at another slice..) Now it's Pesach though and all there is to eat is Matzah (thankfully we eat gebrukts.) Honestly though, people should wish others an easy Passover the way we do with fasts...

So everyone, have an easy Pesach.