IM STILL WAITING

Its been over a year now since Obama was elected, and all is fine, well almost. The world is still running, there is no universal wars, I can still live a normal life with the liberty to practice my religion. Who could have thought that we could go a whole year since he was elected without having one of these things, oh wait I thought so, but there were those who didnt.

Flashback to a year ago. Remember people were holding tehillim rallies so he wont be elected, others were fasting hoping hashem will rip up the bad decree. I remember people telling me a lot of things, many weird things, they are going to leave the country and move to monsey, or kiryas yoel was just one of them. Others predicted 2012 to happen early with proofs from prophecies of the neviim, Zohar, Chumash, Gemorrah, or any other sort of Jewish work, and it was quite funny to see how they would try to prove it. They would tell me "If you take this letter from here and add it to this one here multiplied by that it equals Obama". At first I would be perplexed as to why they chose such a random order to prove something when I could do that with anything, they should have used a system that at least had a pattern. Then I would ask "Okay you proved it says Obama somehow, now how does that prove he is the cause of the end of the world?" a smart person wouldn't answer, dumb ones said things along the lines of "Hitler had that whole youth program and Obama is working on one" (oh so that's why Obama wanted to speak to kids in school (sarcasm sarcasm)).

And yet it has been a year, Obama is president and Mashiach isn't here, nor are people running to different countries like they promised, and I'm still waiting for the testimonies of some to come true, who wants to wait with me.

PURIM COSTUMES

Throughout Jewish history people dressed up on Purim. Some costumes are normal work clothes some people have, others are made of clothes that are worn by specific people, then there are those food or drink costumes, and the I just threw what ever random article of clothe I had, with sunglasses.

Why do we wear costumes on Purim, and no its not to copy Halloween. Well at one point in time G-d hid himself from us as he made a hidden miracle for the Jews of Persia. So we commemorate to this by hiding ourselves, like g-d did. Okay so now you know.

Some famous work clothes costumes are; the soldier, doctor, nurse, hatzolah guy, policeman, fireman, cowboys, pirates and clowns. These are easy, and you can buy it anywhere. I always see some kids playing around as if they are real soldiers, and some threatening their friends that they will arrest them with their plastic handcuffs. the doctor one works real well with the healthy theme, or the hospital theme, the kids just need a white lab coat and a stethoscope.

Then there is the specifics. Dressing up as a president (Obama wont be hard), animals, fruits and vegetables, Elvis, Terrorists, the guy on the monopoly board (I did this once) and many more like this. Gorillas are the favorite animals people dress up as. Food is easy, I dressed up as a cherry once. Elvis is a famous one out there, just as much as any character in the Purim story. That reminds me; Esther is the fave among girls, vashti isn't, who wants to look ugly? Mordechai is made out to be a guy with a Black hat and a beard with a black jacket, he wore a turban and a robe! Haman is very distinct, a triangle hat and your done, but this year he is being taken over by Bernie Madoff. Achashveirosh the king of Persia, my brother loved dressing up as him. And of course there are the people who throw on anything with a pair of sunglasses.

I love to hear the stupid comments people make about costumes on Purim. Here are some; "You did a good job on your vashti costume" and then one wearing it says "I'm supposed to be Esther", or "I cant tell who is under that mask", or "I love your costume, what did you dress up as?" all of these can go with the cheesy greeting on the shaloch manot.

I actually like costumes people make themselves, their very creative. I always liked to make my own costumes. I was the monopoly guy once (my shaloch manot went with this as a theme), an Arab (I took an old shirt and one of those big red rubber bands and made a kafia), a crazy doctor (I used some sort of scissor shaped clamp as glasses, I clamped the thing to my nose, it had two holes to see through) and another time an outsourced worker for dell computers named Badu.

Listen, any costume can be great or bad, it depends on what you do with it. Heres to a well dresssed purim.

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

February is national black history month, for those of you who do not know. So to accommodate that, today we are going to celebrate all that is black.

The history of black: The first time ever that black was seen was, when g-d said let their be dark, all the colors fought for which one will be dark, black won the title, and was then seen for the first time (second place was dark blue and 3rd dark brown). Adam did not see black right away, rather; he first saw all the other colors, that was all he knew. Then came night and he liked what he saw, black. But he wanted to enjoy the color black a little more, so g-d told him about fire. Adam the first made the fire, and with the illumination the fire emitted, he was able to enjoy the black by being able to see it better. That happened over 5700 years ago, today we enjoy black because it helps us sleep, and who doesn't like sleep?

Why is black such a great color? According to most frum sources, the color black is a form a modesty and blandness, even better than dark blue. "So what" you might say "Just because its bland and modest makes it such a great color?" To this we have to answer, " You are unworthy of our community and get out" or "black is an awesome color because then everything is the same and there are no social classes".

Okay, so now you know that black is a great color, but why wear it, its a bland color. I will answer that with a question "Why would the chosen nation wear black if there was a better color out there?" From this we see that black is the best color out there, and that is why the Jews (chosen nation) wear only black.

So next time you wear your black hat or black dress, remember that you are wearing the best color out there, and be proud of it. May black history month live on in all of us.

AS THE BALL FALLS SO DOES EVERYTHING ELSE

At exactly 12:00 01 (that is 12 o'clock and 1 second) the big ball in times square will have fallen, it will mark the end and the beginning of a new Gregorian year on your Gregorian calendar, so does it represent everything else that's gone on this year.

The stock Market has fallen: The Dow Jones, and other big stock organizations, have taken the plunge. For the first time in a lot of years we are lower than some number, excuse me if I gave up on were the market is these days. People have plummeted to their deaths, jumping off building, they couldn't take the fact they lost so much. As the people jump up and down, happy to see the ball drop, do they know it symbolizes how far we are from the top?

The economy has caved in: Now more than ever people are losing their jobs. Companies you would never have thought could go bankrupt did. Some disappeared, some merged. Doesn't matter what happened, it means that things are on a slope, that has been rained on for too long, and is ready to give way to all the pressure. As the people jump up and down, happy to see the ball drop, do they know it symbolizes how far we fallen from the top?

The missiles have came raining down: Israel has been attacked for months now, with a shower of Kassams every day. The region of Darfur has been in turmoil. Russia invaded Georgia. Gaza is being reduced to rubble. Iraq is still a danger, the shoes came raining down. As the people jump up and down, happy to see the ball drop, do they know it symbolizes just a hop wont bring us to the top?

The dollar fell: I went to Israel and the taxi drivers didnt really want the American money. The dollar even fell past the canadian one. It went back up but its falling again. As the people jump up and down, happy to see the ball drop, do they know it symbolizes that the world is fed up?

Eveything has been a downturn for the world. The people dont realize that the ball is just a symbol of all that has happened. They cheer, and wait in the frigid cold, all to watch everything fall. That ball will not go back up, not this year. What are they celebrating? its not something to be happy about.

Okay, so its been a very pessimistic post so far. Heres a little something to cheer you up.

The Gas price has dropped: From a high 4.30 something and maybe more, to the "we would have never dreamed so low" 1.83. We have what to be happy for. Was it the offshore drilling, or was it that we were about to look for alternative energy, that did the trick. As the ball dropped, they understood that these gas prices could not be topped.

Peoples blood pressure dropped: at least mine did.

What is it that dropped and was good or bad. What does the ball dropping symbolize to you, and would it be cooler if they actually dropped it from a building, watching it smash to ground.

WHY BE AN ATHEIST

In the end, you will see why its mathematically stupid to be an atheist.

Step one: You cannot prove G-d doesn't exist. If you try to question why G-d did something, or why he created something. You can always say "G-d put it there as a test to see if you believe". Therefore you can not prove G-d does not exist. Also G-d is not physical so you cant prove that he doesn't exist with something physical. This also works the other way making it fifty fifty. So there is 50% chance that if you are an atheist you are wrong.

Step two: We all know that G-d spoke to the Jews at mount Sinai. All other religions they had one guy who heard G-d. No religion disputes that G-d spoke to the Jews. There were about 3,000,000 people at Mount Sinai when G-d spoke to them. So the only way for for you to prove that this didn't happen is for you to say that A) it was big hoax. Which is highly unlikely for 3,000,000 people with the rest of the world agreeing, to make a big hoax. B) It was Aliens making the big show at mount Sinai. Aliens were never proven to exist. Or C) time travelers went back and with loud speakers and special effects to make the big hoax. Going back in time was never a theory, it was only to go into the future, and time traveling never happened cant prove it exists. This brings us, with some kindness on the atheists part, to about 85% that G-d exists, and 15% G-d doesn't.

Step three: All the Miracles G-d did for the Jews are believed by all. Once again, the only way to disprove this is with the three answers before, which are highly unlikely. Pushing this, once again with kindness on the atheists part, to 92% G-d exists and 8% G-d doesn't. Now going with 8% is a big risk to take. You are going to burn for this, according to all religions. Does it make sense to go with an 8% chance you are wrong? obviously not.

This was invented by a 16Th century mathematician if I am not mistaken.

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR BLACK FRIDAY

Black Friday the day of mourning, comes after the day of giving thanks. Black Friday's origins are dated back to 1621. After the pilgrims ate all that stuffed turkey, they sat on the john for quite a while. It lasted a whole day, and that day was a Friday, it then became known as Black
Friday.

Till this day we celebrate Black Friday. We throw big Sales to make everyone a little happier on this sad day. Some people go to the extreme lengths, just to mourn on this day. They prepare for this day, through eating tons the day before, so they can last the next day without breakfast, running through aisles and dumping everything in their carts. As it says "whoever eats the day before, it is as if they actually mourned on the actual day". They then prepare for a night outside, in the cold and wind. Sleeping in tents outside stores, just to wait on line, and to reenact what the pilgrims did that day; wait on line for the bathroom. They act as beggars on the floor, to show how horrible a day it was, in our nations history.

Others decide, that it would be best to celebrate this day, by making others unhappy. These people run through the store, and trample anyone in their way. They wont say sorry, for that may make you not as annoyed. Instead they will throw you to the ground and hurdle nasty comments. After the day is over, you can look back and see how much you have accomplished. All those new items you have bought, how miserable you made yourself, or others.

Tomorrow when you go out to celebrate Black Friday, remember why you are doing this and what it resembles. Have a crappy Black Friday.