TWO STATE PLAN

Ever since Clinton there has been the "need" for a two state plan. They invented the road map to make it happen, if you don't know what that is its basically an idea to cut Israels small self in half, to make way for another Muslim nation. Ever since that, Israel is called for talks on how to compensate people who want to kill it, Israel gave in sometimes. The problem is that now that the Palestinians have Gaza, and for quite a while, they still cant run it economically, no matter how much money America sends; and yet they are asking for more territory. (Don't think Israel made them take dessert land and fix it up themselves, Israel left them irrigation and green houses to make the dessert flourish, and they threw that all out).

Now Obama is in charge and is pressing Israel to stop settlements, even the ones that are already in place he wont let grow, so that Israel will give it up to the Palestinians. He is really trying to make this two state plan happen, saying that if there are two different paths that two groups want to take, then they should split and divide, and not one conquer the other. The thing is that America itself didn't do that; during the civil war the north didn't let the south secede from the union, it fought until the south gave in (with comparisons like these I can write for the Jewish press).

Israel shouldn't listen to a country that's being hypocritical? Israel shouldn't give up its own land, just because a terrorist country that cant control itself economically said so? And the worst thing is, Israel is listening anyway.

ECONOMY OR OBAMA

We all have remember paying 4$ a gallon for gas, unless you have Alzheimer's, that was last year. This year the prices dropped to 1.79, which I thought was amazing, our lowest prices in 7 years. Then it started going up around January, and since then has jumped 70 cents. Are we on our way up again? maybe even passed the 4 dollar mark? I hope not.

What is the reason for the price going up recently, well before that, we really need to know why it went down in the first place. Bush was still president, and he threatened to find an alternative energy, so all the oil companies had to lower their prices so we wouldn't mind buying oil (the week after Bush's speech, the prices started being lowered). Another reason may have to do with our economy; when the economy went down, the price for gas did too.

So why is it going up? Is it that Obama doesn't even mention anything about trying to find a new source of energy, or is it a sign our economy is on its way up? And in the comments please don't give me a "Obama is trying to help the Arabs, through buying overpriced barrels of oil".

PURIM IS ONE HECTIC NIGHT

Purim has arrived, as you celebrate the breaking of the fast of Esther. You bite into a piece of sponge cake and drink some orange juice. Then you hear everyone quiet down (is that even possible), the rabbi says a brachah and then everyone eats. "Oh shoots" you say" I ate before the rabbi, eh who cares" as you shrug it off.

You come home and decide to do some last minute preperation for shaloch manot. You are trying to think of what else you can put in, or what else you can put it in. You decide that the idea you had, of using a bag to keep the shaloch manot in, is okay. There you are (waving to us in the camera) stuffing in shaloch manot, twist tying it, and labeling it with your cheesy greeting card/label. You are finally done. You look at all of the bags you packed and set in rows against the wall. You say "They are all so nice, I picked a good bag, I even like the air holes at the bottom of every bag" you think for a moment, then.... "Hey, there aren't supposed to be any air holes, how did they get there? Oh shoots!". Turns out your bags were pierced by the sharp edges of your wafer boxes, as everything begins to spill out. All your work is ruined as you are wondering why you didn't go with the nice looking baskets like everyone else will, cheap isn't smart you say.

All of a (the) sudden, you hear the door bell ring, you open the door only to find people in costumes, and a limo in front of your house. You live in a very Jewish neighborhood, all are Jewish except your non-Jewish next door neighbor, so you expected this. The guys in costumes all start singing Chayiv inish libsumim (and smoke), as they dance there way in a circle into your house. You wait till they quiet down and ask what they want from you, they answer with, money. You ask what are you collecting for, they say "oh we are for a heiligeh tzedakah that if you give to it, all blessing shall be upon you". So you give 18$, one guy mutters "I thought this guy was rich?" You answer "you're right cheap isn't smart here's more" you give 50$ more. They leave and say thank you.

As you turn from your door it rings again, only to find another group waiting at it. They come in a circle dancing into your house singing Mishehnichnis adar marbim bisimchah. These guys just don't know when to end. You hear the door ring again, you assume its another group with a limo outside, and you are right. The new group starts singing Mishehnichnas adar marbim bisimchah, but a different tune. So now both groups have joined together, singing different tunes to the same song. You then say "Alright guys time to get what you came for". They instantly stop. The first group begins to say "We are collecting for...." they are cut off by the second group saying "helping children with difficulties is..." and they too are cut off. Now both groups are fighting, one says "we were here first" the other says "vinahapichu", you think they are both valid statements. You say to them "I have an idea here's 50$ to both of you guys and now it settled".

This goes on another 5 or 6 times, to each a fifty or more, and its getting annoying. You decide to take out a bottle of wine to drown this all out, you just cant take it any more. Another ring is at your door, this time its a drunk group of guys stumbling in you say "guys keep it down", turns out they cant. Singing off key is the game and staying in a straight line is a challenge for them. One guy starts stepping on your already ruined shaloch manot, You scream "Hey off my air-holed shaloch manot!!" the guy jumps off them after jumping on one more. Then there is this one guy who proceeds to vomit on your sofa, you scream "Oh shoots! Clean that right now you drunk bum!!" he just sits in it. Another ring at your door, and then another, and another, and another. "AAAHHHH!!!!" you yell "GET OUT, GET OUT GET OUT, AND YOU STOP SITTING IN YOUR VOMIT!!!!!!!!". You threaten to call the cops, you threaten to use a baseball bat, they aren't afraid, as they overtake your house. You take out your bat and are ready to swing. You hear a knock at the door. You open it ready to swing, you see two cops.

"Hey sir don't swing", the cops say, you drop the bat in utter astonishment. The cops say "sir we have got an anonymous tip from a neighbor of yours" the goy next door you believe, "that its loud and you are giving booze to minors. You say "I ain't loud officers and I ain't giving booze". The cops look at the guy sitting in his throw up, and then at the bottle of wine you used to drown it all out with. Instant panic comes to your mind, Oh shoots I'm going to the slammer, you think.

You are deciding to make a daring move to save yourself. Oops too late, looks like you already decided as you jump on one of the cops to cover his eyes as to not let him see everything wrong in your house. Instant uproar has set in; the cops are trying to get you off, a cherry bomb just exploded, you think it was a gun shot, all the drunkards are hurrying/stumbling out, you are being banged in to every wall as the cops are trying to knock you off. Finally they get you off, Oh shoots you think, now my plan has failed.

The cops say "Sir we have reason to believe you have been selling illegal fireworks to minors too, you are so busted". "YOU SCREAM NOT TRUE NOT TRUE, YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!!!!". The cops manage to get a hold of your struggling body, pretty easily. As they drag you to the police car you scream "YOU'RE ALL DEAD, ALL YOU COLLECTORS EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!!! AND YOU TWO COPS YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!! YOU HEAR MEEEEE!!!!! as they stuff you into the car.

Now you are in jail, you cant even make your phone call because you weren't cheap, and gave all your money to the tzedakos. You thought to yourself "it wasn't good to be cheap because of your air holed shaloch manot and you should have been cheap because now you cant pay for the phone call, you are so confused. You also tried to get out of this whole mess with pleading "vinahapichu", it didn't work. Your last thoughts before we finish this posts is "Why isn't Madoff getting at least half the bad treatment you are", and to that we will never know.

LISTEN TO THE KABBALIST

A famous kabbalist in Bnei brak said that "Israel should not halt its mission to destroy Hamas, otherwise Israel faces great danger". I agree, Israel should not stop, no matter what pressure is put on them. He also said that " Israel must send in troops to destroy the underground tunnels, which can not be hit from the air". Another important statement he said was "everyone should fight", that means the actual army should fight, and the guys in beis medrash should learn on their behalf.

Like I said, I agree with what he is saying, I just wonder why he is saying this now? The attacks came 6 months ago, and the air strikes started on shabbos, why does he begin to speak up now? I just think that he, like everyone else, knows that Hamas is a threat, and should be destroyed. Just now that they have missiles that can reach Bnei Brak, he wants to have them destroyed.

Or it could be he knows something through his kabbalic powers, so he is just giving us a heads up. You choose the answer.

MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

I love this time of year. Not only did Chanukah come, but the biggest present of them all came. I am just so happy.

Okay, now enough with the chit-chat. This is what I mean. Israel has finally decided to take action on Hamas, we will leave Fatah for later. After months of "Cease Fire" The Israeli politicians noticed that there was something wrong. Why was it that their country had tons of citizens, who had to hide every few minutes, hoping to stay alive? Then it hit them, WE ARE BEING BOMBED!!! "What in the world will ever stop these "civilians" from trying to kill us?" they wondered, "Don't we have a cease fire? surely we cant do anything to them". After much negotiation, which got no where, and shoe throwing, which did, The Israeli government decided to actually do something about it, and only after Hamas took down the "cease fire" did everyone agree.

An air strike, starting this past shabbos, was the first offensive; killing about 250-300 "innocent" people. Times like this make me feel happy, I am not a sadist. I actually like listening to the anti-Israeli news, it tells you more about all the "horrible" things the IDF does, and I like to hear what Israel does. While on the other hand a station like Fox gives me both sides, something I don't want.

Then there are those thing which make me shudder, things like The U.N. getting involved, and peace talks. You can tell I am so not a supporter of Kadima, or likud. If only Meir Kahane were still here today. After the things which make me shudder, there are those things which make me in a state of shock and bewilderment, something like this is what I mean: (begin Quote) "Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni told NBC that the assault came because Hamas, an Islamic group backed by Syria and Iran, is smuggling weapons and building a "small army." (end quote, Begin my rant) What??? Did she just say that its because of smuggling weapons, and the building of a small army. WHERE WERE YOU!! the past few months!! Do you not get that your country is in danger, not because of an imposing army and massive weaponry, but on the contrary, they were actually firing into your peoples homes, DAILY!!! over 120 the day of the air strike!!. What are you, stupid!! obviously we seee you are. And what do you think The U.N. will say to "fear of an imposing army", Do you think their reaction will go like this. The U.N. to Israel on behalf of tzippy : "Oh yeah, sure, go ahead. We understand your needs to protect yourself from an army, who can hardly hold itself up to the NYPD, that didn't even attack yet!". Hey! Tzippy! at least say the truth, don't lie about why you are air striking them!! ( Mike In Midwood says this while violently throwing a notepad and pencil)..... "Think STUPID, THINK!!" (as Mike In Midwood violently shakes Tzippy's brainless head).

Now I have to listen to some anti-Israeli news on the assault, to cheer me up. Don't bother me unless you agree.

I AM SO THANKFUL

There are 10 things I am thankful for, and there isn't a better day to give thanks; than, Thanks Giving.

1) I am thankful for not making up the name Thanks Giving, for it is the source of ridicule. Who doesn't think its a stupid name. How about Give Thanks that sounds better.

2) The fact that I am living a very happy life.

3) I am an active person, so I am thankful I never broke or sprained a bone in my body.

4) For my Family (of course).

5) Friends.

6) That I live in Midwood, where a Kosher turkey is easy to find. (regardless of the prices)

7) This blog which is running over a half a year (yay! halfaversary.)

8) All you wonderful commenter's .

9) That I am not being held hostage in India. G-d Help.

10) That I have a day to get all my thoughts straight, on what to be thankful for.

11)What I am not thankful for: The old lady downstairs playing really bad Arabic music really loud.

KILL THE RABBI AND ANYONE WHO DEFENDS HIM

I have read this post recently and I am mortified by our community. At first Dov Hikind came out with it. Then he hired Rabbi Twerski, who resigned due to threats on his family. Another rabbi went as far as to make a hot line for people. He got treated with threatening phone calls and a paper, signed by a rabbinical authority, telling people to call him a liar.

The proof is there, people will do these intolerable acts. Why dont people want to destroy their names? look at what they are doing. Its all because people say "he comes from such a choshov family you cant do that to him". I am pissed off that people can be so stupid. What happens if the person comes after your child next? what would you do then?

Im done steaming off, few things get me as frustrated.

ISRAELI DRIVERS ARE CRAZY

So this past July I went to Israel and I have heard of the crazy drivers there. At first upon hearing this I didn't believe it so much, being that I went to Israel before and did not see. People kept on telling me every little alleyway is a two way street, highway speed in Me'ah she'arim's narrow and short streets. Anything you could think of about driving (crazy) was said. I personally thought that New York driving was the worst. In New York I almost got hit many times and was hit once (not hard). I have heard Miami was bad too.

When I made it to Israel I needed some means of transportation for my luggage and me. I of course took a taxi (sheiroot i think its called or mony-oht). This was my first experience that I remember in an Israeli taxi. All the other times I was too young or just didn't notice.

I wasnt ever that scared in my life, for my life before that moment(s). I have been on roller coasters, but nothing like this. This crazy taxi driver was driving in and out of lanes (no turn signals of course), was bumper to bumper with these other vans and trucks. He was forcing this little car to drive as fast as it could or he would ram it out of the way, like you would do on video games and this car did not look like it had more than 4 cylinders. We made sharp turns around corners of mountains. It had me and my brother (the one who was up after the flight) praying for our lives.

That reminds me of a joke. Theirs a rabbi and a Israeli taxi driver that died and they meet in heaven. The rabbi asks the taxi driver who has this huge golden palace "what did you do to deserve this and me not"? so the Taxi driver answers "when you gave a speech everyone fell asleep when I drove they prayed".

Anyway we finally make it into Jerusalem in one peace (my praying payed off). So the taxi drivers sees a little rounded corner he needs to pass so he goes at top speed for some odd Israeli reason. As we are turning there is a garage and someone is pulling out. the driver pulling out makes a quick stop so as not to get crushed by this maniac but is in the street a little and now the taxi driver has to stop and turn out of the way. Instead of turning a little he comes to a screeching stop, rolls down his window and scream Idiota!! (meaning idiot) and drives off. That one had me and my brother rolling on the floor it was so funny.

Lucky for me I did not have any close stories to that, the rest of my stay. Although now if I hear a car coming in Israel I run out of the streets and find shelter, like they do in Sderot for kassams. What is scary to see is the #2 bus that drives through Me'ah She'arim there are people on the sides that are almost crushed against the buildings. Let me explain. Me'ah She'arim is got alleyways all through it. The bus hardly fits through them and there are people that walk on the sides. If that bus makes one wrong move they are permanently part of the bus or wall. Same goes for the old city.

I now have no fear of walking/driving in new york (not that I had to begin with). And all those thing I thought weren't true about Israel are now true. They definitely have the worst driving skills if they have any at all. I think its luck not skills.

P.S. If you see a blue toyota sienna beeping for no reason its my aunt, run!

MIKE BACK IN MIDWOOD

The flight back was a long one, so I got enough sleep. Hopefully I am back on schedule and wont be tired mid-day.

The flight there was good. Even though it was night, you could still see rays of light from the other side of the world since we were flying so far north. That was nice. A few hours later we went south so the rays dissapeared but the light returned quickly by dawn. I really wish I had a camera too bad I put in my suitcase.

It was great and I got tons of new posts including one on Israeli driving. You seriously pray when your on the road. That reminds me do to recent attacks from bull dozers, I didnt like driving near or walking near construction sights.

I went to alot of places like the Kotel and dead sea. I worked on my Hebrew which ain't great but is not bad. I plan on going back some time next year. As for now I need to catch up on this blog.

A NORMAL CITYBUS RIDE (not so normal)

A city bus ride is an experience that you just cant find on a train. Yes the trains do have those black guys singing for money all day going from cart to cart but a city bus is got its style.It usually depends on what time of day your ride is that makes it an experience. If I go on at 9:oo AM it would usually be so crowded that I wouldn't have enough room to even fit on the bus. If I go at 12:oo PM it would be empty and the ride much quicker. The evening is where the fun is. The entertainment comes from the bus driver themselves. There are those bus drivers that don't care if the person has the money or not and lets them on. Then there are those that are new bus drivers, they have to say hi to everyone with a big smile on their face and wont move the bus until every single last person is behind the white line, cant come on the bus if you're 5 cents too short. It seems like they are taught before driving the bus that everyone has to be treated this way, and listen to the sign written on top of every bus, you know the ones that have the NO in big letters and say eating, drinking, music playing, standing in front of white line, etc.

They are the funniest when someone tries to sneak on through the back. I was once on a bus and there was a new driver meaning I was going to come home late. She listened to all the rules. She even made people get up for the elderly in seats not designated to get up for them. Then a kid tried sneaking on through the back. We waited twenty minutes (read very slowly) for the kid to come around put in the metro card get behind the white line on a crowded bus (you can stop reading slowly) Then she got up and screamed "people we are not moving this bus until everyone is behind the white line". A normal bus ride is between 15-20 minutes this one was a whopping 50 minute ride I could have walked faster...........why didn't I?

In the morning sometimes there is a preacher lady who tries to convert people I had her once or twice. She says "my rilligion is da best becawse my rilligion said so" I was going to scream out " hey I came on the city bus for a ride not a sermon" but my friend was there and I would really embarrass myself and I didn't want to argue with my stop coming up. She went on to say that Yeshka atoned for our sins and that it was the "ABC" of everything. Then she starts listing off from A-Z words that reflect him. I got off when she was in the middle, some were pretty funny how she connected it to him. It was a weired experience.

Many times I use the city bus to relax and look out the window unless I have something interesting to do or who to speak to. (I thought about this post on a city bus). The seating on the bus is a big deal. Many people wont sit next to someone instead they leave a seat in the middle open. Then there are those two seaters and they are hard to get out of when you are on the inside of one and you have to squish your way out and maybe your shoe comes off revealing you're socks or stockings. Soon someone will ban sitting in those seats because of that. Well those types of seats are how you define people. If someone Is alone in one of them and sits on the outer side that wont let anyone get in they are probably mean and you don't want to sit next to them unless they move over by them seeing that you want to sit, then go right ahead its okay.

When I sit in one I usually sit on the inner side and if anyone needs a place to sit next to someone I am usually first one they choose (see previous post for why) and the Black guys in the back usually never get sat next to. Story time again I was one the city bus about 3:00 and it was crowded. When its crowded you could assume that there is a gang in the back and no one wants to sit next to them this bus had one. A group of kids from a Yeshiva got on and sat pretty close to them (not to close) Then there was a fat lady next to them (I am guessing she came before). The gang said some racial comments to the kids and then the fat lady said shut up I have a headache. So now she was the target they started making fun of her that shes fat, and she says I lost 50 pounds so far. They laugh and say Imagine how fat you used to be and they start making sizes with their hands. The lady screams I have a black boyfriend I am not a racist (I don't know what made her say that) She takes her bottle she had and chucked it at them it ended up hitting one of the kids from yeshiva on the bus. The leader of the group gets up and punches her in the face. Then she starts cursing you little !@#!@@# and how dare you $%&$ blank @%$##. The bus driver calls 911 and now I have to get off the bus since the cops need to question the bus driver. The gang was arrested, the lady was telling the cops what happened and how she was innocent.

A city bus is a great experience (and a great post).

A moving video (no not that people move in it)

I just saw a video about the peole in Sderot and how when the sirens go off they only have 15 seconds to find shelter who ever made that video did a great job. You could find it on Frum Yenta Who I linked recently so scroll down a little and look on your right click on the name and watch.
(For some reason it wouldnt link onto my site)

ONE WEIRD EMAIL I GOT

This email I have recently got I believe its some spam or I dont know but its weird. Its from someone in Iraq who was helped by the UN and his brother was killed by asassins and he is wanted by them because of his fortune. He also said he wants me to be his partner in real estate or something and he likes fishing otherwise why would he says he wants to own a fishing business, America is not big on the fishing industry (Hey I get 30% what do I care he does). It could be the FBI wanting to see if I do anything illegal ( I have heard cases like this) but probably not.It could be a way to force me to comply with terrorists(see end of letter) Why not you decide.
Its subject was "can I trust you" (no you cant) Well here it is. (his spelling is whacked)
DEAR SIR,
I WRITE TO SEEK YOUR COOPERATION AS MY FOREIGN PARTNER AND YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE ME AN IRAQI WITH NAME ABU JASIM HUSSEIN ABDUL FATAH TO OWN A PROPERTY AND INVEST IN THE STABLE ECONOMY OF YOUR COUNTRY.
I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU BECAUSE I CONNOT INVEST IN YOUR COUNTRY WITHOUT AN ASSISTANT FROM SOMEONE FROM YOUR COUNTRY.
AND I WILL BE GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU MOST IN RESPECT OF THE TAX ON FOREIGN INVESTORS AND THE ECONOMIC SITUATION OF YOUR COUNTRY IF IT WILL BE STABLE FOR SUCH INVESTMENT OPPURTUNITY THAT AMOUNTED TO $175 MILLION USD.(ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEENTY FIVE MILLION DOLLARS ONLY).
I HAVE THE TOTAL INTENTION OF INVESTING INTO AN ESTATE DEVELOPMENT AND OTHER LUCRATIVE INVESTMENT IN YOUR COUNTRY SUCH AS AGRICULTURE AND FISHING.
ALTHOUGH I AM ON TRANSIT AND YOU CAN AS WELL REACH ME THROUGH MAIL.
I AM AFRAID BECAUSE IT WAS AN ESCAPE MISSION THROUGH THE ASSISTANCE OF THE UN AND I AM SECURED BUT LOST MY ELDER BROTHER WHO IS HATEM KAMIL ABDUL FATAH THE ASSASINATED DEPUTY GOVERNOR OF BAGHDAD AND THE ABOVE SAID FUNDS WAS THE DEPOSIT HE MADE IN A SAFE FINANCE HOUSE WHICH I WILL DISCLOSE THE DETAILS TO YOU UPON OUR CONCLUSSIVE AGREEMENT AND MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING.
THE WEBSITES BELOW IS A PROOF AND VERIFICATION OF THE NEWS ABOUT HIS DEATH:HTTP://NEWS.BBC.CO.UK/GO/PR/FR/-/1/HI/WORLD/MIDDLE_EAST/3970619.STMHTTP://WWW.USLABORAGAINSTWAR.ORG/ARTICLE.PHP?ID=6979
BEING THAT I AM THE ONLY BROTHER REMAINING, HIS ENEMIES PLANED TO ASSASSINATE ME SO THAT THEY COULD LAY HANDS ON HIS ASSETS BUT I MANAGED TO ESCAPE THROUGH THE UNITED NATION ASSISTANCE AND I AM ON TRANSIT NOW AND COULD BE REACHED ON EMAIL .
I WILL REQUIRE A GOOD PARTNERSHIP FROM YOU AS A NATIVE OF THE LAND WITH YOUR GREAT IMPACT IN BUSINESS AND MORE DETAILS WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU ON PROCEED.
IN RESPECT OF YOUR MANAGERIAL ASSISTANCE YOU SHALL BE SUBJECTED TO THE ENTITLEMENT OF 30% AS REMARK TO YOUR EFFORT BUT PLEASE IT WILL REQUIRE ABSOLUTE SUBMIT AND WHOLE HEARTED ASSISTANCE FROM YOU AS A GREAT INDIGENOUS SUPPORT.
MUCH CO-OPERATION WILL BE REQUIRED FROM YOU.
ANTICIPATING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.ABU JASIM HUSSEIN ABDUL FATAH