THE RIGHT KOLLEL

I have heard from a respectful rabbi that Kollel system has its flaws. I was in a state of shock when I heard him say this. Could a real rabbi who learns in Kollel say there is something wrong with it? Well anyway he descibed these flaws. 1) Not everyone is meant for Kollel (many don't think that way). 2) You have to learn in Kollel (also many people don't think this way). 3) People use it as a way to fit in with the crowd and end up not learning for the sake of learning.

1) Yes not everyone is meant for Kollel. There are tons out there who would rather be working but they promised that they would sit and learn for X amount of years and X amount of children or they are placed under peer pressure and if they go against the system they face humiliation and children not being able to go to good schools. (kind of like that girl who was afraid to ask her teachers questions on Judaism).

2) You have to learn in kollel. For your average kollel guy its just a joke and every few minutes their out for a smoke or to talk and text on their phones. Maybe Schmoozing with a couple of guys but hardly ever learning. 3) they use it to fit in with the crowd as I mentioned before its peer pressure. Why do they learn (if they do) only to show off I learn or to not show off but prove they are meant for Kollel.

The rabbi obviously knew who/what he was talking to/about. I agree on all levels that he is right. He said that most should work instead of learn and waste their time. He said the System has changed from what it used to be 100 years ago. He explained that in the past you got married at 15 so by that time you had to set a life standard. They got married and if the man had leaned toward learning, he would be set off to learn and would be supported. If he leaned towards not learning he would set out to work. So now its a different system. If you are in a Yeshiva you must set off to learn in Kollel and expect to be supported. If you go to college you are set off to be single a loooong time.

The rabbi did say there are some Kollel's that the only way you can learn there is if someone promised to support you and that this is the right Kollel. Being that it was like Yissachar and Zevulin it is the ideal Kollel. May we all be Zocheh that we should live to see a time where all Kollels will be like this last one. Amen.

YESHIVA HIGH SCHOOL DROP OUTS

In recent years there has beena plague of kids just not wanting to go through with the secular studies. They have become Yeshiva High School drop outs. Why would they like to drop is beyond any logic (real logic). Maybe its a knew kollel ad "Learn secular studies and forget about going to kollel". Or it could be "If you learn Secular studies you'll be so far from frum that you'll forget about kollel". Whatever it is, these guys/kids are dropping like flies (there are so many!!).

Soon there is going to be another question on the shidduch resume "Did you take secular studies in high school?". These guys/kids must know in advance that its coming, so I guess they are ready for it when the question comes around. After they pass the shidduch scene they will be moved to the kollel scene or part 2. How could you think that the people who drop out of secular studies be forced to work? (shame on you). They will be directly transferred to only the "best" kollel around where they wont last a while (being that they have 14 kids).

I was wondering what would you do if you don't even have a high school diploma?, and Chas V'shalom you have to stop the kollel business since you aren't making enough money and your wife isn't either making enough from her speech therapist job. What would you do? You wont be hired by anyone. If you try you may get to be a waiter at most or be the first Jewish taxi cab driver. One person gave me an answer that they can become a rebbi in a school, as if a rebbi makes so much money.

Many people are against this act of dropping out. I know the Yekis are very much against it. Then there are those people who are for it and don't allow their kids to get a secular education. I think its going too far, if you really want you can move back to your shtetle in poland.

THE SHADCHANS FAULT (update on last post)

It seems that many people have caught on that you can learn and work. Which until recently didn't exist in peoples minds. I have read in the Jewish press (GASP!) that people want an LE ("learner earner"). Now its all the shadchunim's fault they didn't exist. They are telling the guys who want to be an LE that no girl would want them. Then they go to a girl looking to purchase an LE and say there is no such kind of person in stock.

In the article IM YIRTZEH HASHEM (by you) There is a person there looking for an LE. The Shadchun tells her "There is no such thing "either go find a Kollel boy (who only learns does no work) or go settle for a modern boy" ( who doesnt learn and only works or doesn't even work). Why is it that marrying someone who wants to learn and work is impossible to find?

I guess its a conspiracy of the shadchun. When someone becomes a shadchun you have to sign a contract that the only people you work with are the ones that learn and have nothing to do with being able to live with the money they make. Also this person has to have support from there parents otherwise they are disqualified. Going to college is another thing that disqualifies you. So in the end the only way to get a shidduch is to be the perfect person with no variety of different people. Its like you try one and you tried em' all.

It happens to be that in another article in the Jewish Press also talks about the same concept. The REBBETZINS VIEWPOINT had someone write that no "good girl" wants to marry him and he is an LE. I don't know where this person got his perspective but I have a clue. (see upper portion). The Rebbetzin wrote back that there are many "good girls" that want an LE and that she knows them and they want to contact this person. I can see it now the Shadchuns plot of a shidduch crisis is now collapsing.

I conclude that the Shidduch crisis was (I say "was" since it should end now) all the shadchuns fault. We just have to realize that there are people out there that can fit the "new" category of "learner earner" and I promote this new category. A shadchan should allow people to be an LE not against it. Why they are someone please explain. :)

COLLEGE IS ASSUR

I have never seen a problem with going to college. And yet so many people say that if you go to college you not religious. You have to stay and learn otherwise your life is ruined. I don't see whats wrong with getting ready to make a living. Its better than learning and having absolutely no money to make ends meet.

The shadchunim are the worst "So are you going to learn or work?" If you work you have a great chance of the shadchun not considering you to anyone. Also you have a good chance of waiting till 25 to get married. So instead of having a shadchun you go on JDate or frumster which really doesn't help much.

They say there is really something wrong with not learning and recently I heard that becoming a rebbi is not considered learning either. Who made up this crazy rule book!! where everything has to be perfect and money is over flowing like a very hot pot with water in it and steam (being money) coming out. This just doesn't happen. In the end you are going to have to work anyway since you cant learn forever. Someone who wants to learn after they are done working like in the evening isn't good enough.

Its funny how everything must be perfect. Even people are now perfect. You hear someone say "I went out with a typical BY girl/Yeshiva bochur" and they say it not only about one person but many. It doesn't stop there, no way. They say they went out with 3 people they all had the same idea of where they are headed in life and came from the same background. This perfect world is not perfect and everyone is the same.

So about college being assur. I am not criticizing anyone for not going but rather the reason they aren't. Some don't go because they have life set out for them and what they are going for doesn't need college (a shochet,Rabbi,Teacher,Social worker) so I am not out to get you here. There are others that say "College is for goyim" (in a derogatory way THEY say goyim) and are trying to fit into this category of typical Yeshiva bochur/BY girl, it is also a form of peer pressure.

In a good many years from now our Jewish economy will collapse because fewer and fewer people are getting jobs (REAL JOBS) and we wont be able to support those who learn. Yeah I am bringing out the Yissachar and Zevulun point. There are people that are meant to support those who learn. That's the reason why people have to go to college to learn some sort of profession and get a good job. OH! I forgot something really important. There are many non workers who call those who do work... NOT FRUM!!! WHY is all I'm asking why are they not frum. is it because they are actually doing there part in life? Besides just saying they are not frum they are disrespecting those who are donating money to a Kollel so you can sit and learn. And that goes back to the Yisachar Zevulun thing. I think I end it here before I give myself a heart attack. (Deep breath... just take deep breaths).

THE SHIDDUCH CRISIS

A great factor in the shidduch crisis is what I call the "system". The system is orchestrated by everyone besides those actually dating so everyone is made out (by others looking out for them) to seem as perfect as possible, allowing perfection to be seen as the norm.

The ideal girl is labeled a Bais Yaakov-type girl. It seems a shame that if you're not a "Bais Yaakov-type girl" you're considered not good enough and thus less desirable picking. Then there is seminary- another must. Forget about skipping straight to college- that'll surely make you second-class-citizen material. If a girl want to marry someone who will learn for a while, yet the girl can't jump into college, finding that above-minimum-wage- side job while in school is going to be pretty difficult...the husband might even have to look for a job...but you wanted to marry a learner...

The system conveniently allows the seminary year to be one of the biggest dating fodder. You would think that this wouuld solve all the problems about shidduchim, having oodles of fresh from sem girls. Well unfortunately, that's not enough to meet the criteria. There are some who do get married right out of seminary but there are those who are simply not ready.

Then there's actually going to the right seminary- otherwise you're flying under the radar. So even if you can successfully say you went to seminary you're asked which one and then it all comes right back to whether you're a "Bais Yaakov type girl." And again, even having gone to seminary, you might as well have gone to college since you're still second-class-citizen material . And hey, this is all information collected before date number one so uh...good luck to you once you've scored one.

That completes one portion of the "system". So I reiterate, not so hard to figure out why there is this crisis. My conclusion- go out with someone without so much critiquing. It's not like you're forced to sign a marriage contract after of one date.

So this people is our shidduch crisis.