Its a large world out there

You know that saying "its a small world after all" well its wrong. The world is a large place full of things to do and people to meet, and I don't need some guy I just met to tell me its a small world after hearing we know the same people, dude its a small frummie world not a small everyone world..

Yes its a large world, and I was living it for the past week and a half, finding no time to blog at all. A lot has happened since I left, Tu b'shvat came and went, I was planning on writing about how no one really celebrates it and it gets lost in the sphere of influence the next two holidays have. One fact about Tu b'shvat while were in the subject, more people opted to plant a tree in the game of farmville in honor of tu b'shvat this year then really planting a tree.

Also there was an earthquake in Haiti which I did briefly write about, but what I failed to mention is that some Frum Jewish people (not the ones that went to help) are showing signs of joining the JKK or Jew Klux Klan. Its outright disgusting that some people are Happy, that's right, happy about the destruction and death of non Jews who have not wronged them in anyway. I was ready to blow up at some of these people, but its a useless argument they're never gonna get it straight, years of distortion have got them were they are and one rant isn't gonna change it.

Well now that Ive lived life for a week or so its time to hibernate and blog again till some warmer weather comes along, maybe I'll pick up jogging in the morning to keep me going or that groundhog better show up soon..... or not show up, does anybody know which one makes spring come earlier and when is groundhog day?

MIXED UP HOLIDAYS AND TASHLICH

Due to the fact that I didn't write anything about my experience on the high holidays, or anything at all, I decided to fill you on it starting with yom kippur because I cant remember rosh hashanah.

This Yom Kippur went pretty well, I liked it, smooth, a little hungry, and I was not like most people who are trying to cry at the end of Neila, I was sort of happy at the end, then I felt stupid for not pleading more with g-d. Now I really don't want to bore you with my whole Yom Kippur experience because I really just summarized it pretty well and anything I write about it will be just an elaboration of what I just wrote, so forget it (although this year I noticed that a lot of people were nodding there heads during the rabbis speech, were they trying to tell the rabbi hes doing a good job?). If you want a Yom Kippur post from me then you can read my last years post, which wasn't much of a yom kippur post either.


In other entertainment for tonight I have Tashlich memories. I went to tashlich right before yom kippur this year, was it a smart idea right before yom ha'din and all its rush, I don't think so. Where I normally do (the) tashlich is known as Cesar's bay, others may know it as "near toy's R us", and others as "The tashlich place". As I was reading away my sins my family and I realized we had no bread to throw, as one of us said, "Thats like doing bi'ur chametz without chametz" . I look around and realized that on the little ledge between me and the shore 7 feet below there was tons of bread that didn't make it into the sea, I could have used it but I didnt have rubber gloves to touch it with. Anyway, it was just standing there waiting to either rot or be eaten by pigeons, now I don't have the best arm in the world here, I do tend to air ball in basketball, but even I could throw the bread just a little further and get it into the sea. The weird fact is that bread is the most unlikely thing to make it into the water there; kippot, shopping carts, soda cans, barrels filled with radioactive stuff, and a streimel have made it more times into the ocean then bread during the tashlich season (the guy who lost his streimel climbed onto a rock sticking out of the ocean and got his streimel back).

To top all the festivities off we had simchas torah and this year was a let down, it just wasn't as fun as last year, I did the hakafos and all but it was more enjoyable last year. Many people have told me the same thing about this year.It seems as if this year I'm messed up, I enjoyed Yom kippur, and Simchas Torah wasn't so great, what happened! I seriously need to reorganize myself.

THE BRESLOV WAY

Just the other day I was "attacked" by a Breslover "demanding" money from me. I gave the guy a dollar so he would go away, and he ended up giving me a Breslov pamphlet. Now in the past I would have thrown it right back, but the name of the book caught my eye, especially in these economic times.

The name of the book was called Easy Money. I almost jumped for joy, but I remembered I had some dignity, or I just didn't want to look like a fool. I gazed at the book and thought for a moment, "With this I wont ever have to work really hard, all I probably have to do is; say a few perakim of tehillim, hop on the next flight to uman and visit rav nachmans grave site, and then forty days later I'll be rich". I wondered if it was possible, and if it would be true I could change every ones lives.

So I decided to open it up and read its glory. I turned to any random page and started reading the first paragraph. The words read "Poverty is a state of mind". As I read those words my whole dream shattered, like a hard hit baseball punching its way through a stained glass window. I realized that the book was a scam to get the dollar out of me, and that I wont become rich saying a few pices of tehillim, But I also realized I can just sue Breslov for false advertising and then Ill accomplish the books title "Easy Money" anyway.

Things that pissed me off last week.

You may not know it but there were a few things that pissed me off last week, and probably you too. I'm not talking about simple things like, why I cant find a parking spot within a one block radius, or why you cut me off, or even why my thumb cant fit into a normal sized bowling ball, I'm talking about bigger things that haven't only affected me.

I got pissed off last week when I heard that a bunch of Jews decided to do some stealing and tax evasion. Ive been saying it for a long time, the last thing we need is a chilul hashem and yet there they go. "But wait you're allowed to steal to support Torah, right? so they did nothing wrong" said a commenter of yeshiva world news, but the answer is no you are not allowed to steal for torah, its a mitzvah that came through an aveirah (which is an aveirah if you didn't know). And you know what I think? I think that they should all go to jail and serve their sentence because they deserve it, and I wont be like another commenter that said they should have their trial in the month of adar and not av, because av is a bad month for Jews and having the trial now will cause them to lose the trial. So why did it piss me off? it didn't affect me? Ill answer that with a question, "did you get pissed of at madoff and his scandal?" the answer is yes, same here.

Another thing that pissed me off this week was a letter printed in the mishpachah magazine. It was condemning Reb Elyashiv for praying for gilad shalit. I know this is hard to hear for all of you that joined groups on Facebook and twitter in support of gilad but the person writing it said that he thinks it's wrong to pray for him to be released, because Israel will give up many captured terrorists in exchange for him. For the person who decided to write that letter to mishpachah I have two things to say; one is, if you were gilad you wouldn't be thinking that way, and two is that one Jewish life is priceless and it doesn't matter how many terrorists you give up (although we try to lessen the amount).

Yeah those were the things that pissed me off last week, cant see who it wouldn't. On a side note have an easy and meaningful fast.

HE REALLY WASNT LIKED BY THAT MANY

When I saw the news of Mike Jackson's death I was shocked, and in fact I was just like the rest of the world that decided to stop hating him and mourn the worlds new loss. NO! I'm sorry but if I were to write that it would be a lie, I for one will not fall into the traps of the media, which is trying to portray him as some sort of G-d or king (on a side note, one left wing reporter literally said "Obama is g-d", and like any other left wing reporter, hes nuts). A handful of people on this world hated him and accused him of many wrongdoings, but once he died it was like he went to church, confessed, and all his sins magically evaporated and then condensed into the tears everyone now sheds over him ( yeah, that was the water cycle used in a simile with a priest).

I don't care where I was when I found out about it, or what I was doing at the time, my emotions did not change one bit when I heard about his "tragic" death. I may feel bad for the people who bought tickets to his upcoming concerts, but you can all go buy a ticket to his funeral if you'd really like (now that's one crazy idea). Very few cared about him in this world, other hated him, and now they are together in unison, forgetting what he did to some and remembering that he introduced the moonwalk to us.

But who cares anymore about what he recently has done, every newspaper had to have him on the front cover, I bet you if they cut of his hair and sell it, it would sell for 500 times as much as it would if he did himself when he was alive. The world just doesnt get it, he was a bad man stop crying!

Now I know some of you are big time fans of his, how youy still are I do not know, but the least you can do is not start a facebook club to say kaddish for him, he isn't worth it, for what hes done no kaddish is moving him to heaven.

Whew (wipes sweat off forehead) what a rant, I'm done for tonight.

SHABBOS GREETING AWKWARDNESS

We know how to greet someone on shabbos; the other person is two cement boxes away, about 4 feet, that makes you actually able to look like you are greeting the other person, (not screaming) and giving them a chance to say good shabbos back before passing you. Then there are the times that things go wrong, or awkward occurrences, that sprout from this common occurrence.


Lets say you are walking, and you notice the person coming towards you. In fact they notice you too. You cant just look away, that seems weird. You cant look at the person the whole time till they pass you, that's also weird. Some people will try the look down trick, or the "I am looking straight ahead passed you" look, which never really helps. So as you both are walking towards each other, it gives a weird feeling inside both of you, till you say good shabbos. Another thing you don't want to do, which I find annoying, is right before you pass the other person you cross the street, and in affect, nullifying theirs and your shabbos greeting requirement. Don't do that because I was just about to say it and you walk away, it creates an awkward feeling in me and you, probably, too.

Some times you just aren't sure if you say good shabbos or Shabbat shalom, for example if you think the person is Sephardic, maybe a shabbat shalom is necessary. Then it happens where you cant tell if the person is Sephardic, now you'll never know what to say, and you will always end up looking stupid.


Saying good shabbos to male/female if you are a female/male. This turns out to be a problem only in Brooklyn, because out of town everyone says good shabbos to everyone. If you do say a good shabbos, in Brooklyn, you will probably get a look of astonishment from the other person, which really means "how could you even have the nerve to say good shabbos to the opposite gender", and sometimes you get the invisible look, where the opposite gender pretends you don't even exist. Very rarely, in Brooklyn, will you ever get a good shabbos back.


Many times the people you are greeting will mumble something like "gishbs", which just means they really don't want to say good shabbos. You'll look back at them and wonder, "why couldn't they just say a normal one, am I not worthy enough for one?" Sometimes you will get a nod from people, which I think is better than a "gishbs". For some reason I have never heard anybody say "you too" to a good shabbos, I don't see why it wont work, are you not greeting the person back?

Another weird problem is, you are walking back from shul, for you its after shabbos, the people passing you are on their way to shul, they didn't finish shabbos, or the opposite way around. Do you say "good shabbos", or "gut vuch", you'll never know. On Yom tov it gets harder, what do you say; Gut yuntif, chag sameach, chag kosher v'sameach, Yom Tov (good day)? And on shabbos that falls out on yom tov it gets harder, do you say "good shabbos" first and then the yom tov greeting, or just one them?

Then there is the don't answerer's. These people brush right by you, they also give the "you don't exist" look. That isn't awkward, its just chutzpah.

If you ever pass a group of people: That even you're expert on shabbos greeting etiquette doesn't know what to do. In that case it will always leave you with is an awkward feeling.

Shabbos greetings are just so hard, no wonder people in Boro Park gave up on it.

PESACH AND OCD

We know that many Jews have OCD. Pesach time, is the only time for them to feel normal. Everyone is going crazy to have every book in the house clean, wiping each and every page. The floors are washed and washed again. The carpet is vacuumed by the maid, then the wife, and then a child. The cabinets are sealed because of impurity, with a sign on it saying not to touch it. Some things are sold because you are too afraid to even have it in your possession. Everything you do to clean for Pesach is very OCD friendly, you cant even tell the difference between a normal person and one with OCD. You can say "When it comes to celebrating Pesach everyone does it the same (this is also meant for people not religious)" .

But Pesach may be a reason why people become OCD in the first place. Besides for the fact that Jewish life itself may cause people to become OCD; through, going to mikvos which aren't clean, or because you don't go to mikvos every second it makes you feel unclean, or because Jewish law requires washing and cleansing yourself from the evil spirit (its phrased as evil spirit, though its really just an impurity on your hands) that rests upon you many times (before you eat you waah, when you wake up, etc.etc.etc.).

Well, Pesach requires even more cleaning, and getting rid of impurities, more than any other holiday in the Jewish Calendar. Chametz is referred to as a the evil inclination, which is not allowed to be eaten on Passover. Chametz is found in almost any food, syrup, drink there is. Not only that; but, you must check that you don't have any chametz in your house on Pesach, not even crumbs, in the smallest of corners. Will this not make anyone go crazy cleaning for Passover? it can inject such a fear of this sin; that, people will gain an OCD behavior from this. They will scrub and check countless times, just to make sure they wont have any chametz over passover. They will be very afraid of what they eat during Pesach, for fear that the one who supervises, to make sure its kosher l'pesach, didn't do a good enough job.

Pesach is a rough time of year, but don't let it make you crazy (do a lot of destressers, as told by the Mishpacha magazine ).

MEGILLAH READING

Notice: this was supposed to be posted taanit esther, then got pushed off and got pushed off on Purim, again. I was very busy, but its here now.

Everyone is always pumped for the first megillah reading, as if they are supposed get a reward for it, but truth be told there is nothing so special about it.

Everyone crowds into shul, some in their costumes, and some not. Maybe its the fact that everyone, who does have a costume, likes to show off their great costume. Some might have great costumes and think so, some don't have great ones and still think so. But I don't think this is why everyone likes megillah reading; otherwise, you can just have a normal party with everyone bringing their costumes.


Then you have to wait for the megillah reading that you were pumped about, through most of maariv; is this a great way to start off Purim? Okay so now you've started megillah reading, its got a funny tune to it, but its not something to be pumped about, and if you want to bang when the reader says Haman, you still have to wait till the third perek to hear the first one. I don't think that's why people are pumped about it; besides, the fact that you bang a little, there is really nothing to be so pumped about.

Another thing not to be pumped about is that, you hear the same story every year, who wants that. Go tell a five year old the same story every year (he will have to be five for quite a few years) you'll never hear him asking for you tell a story again. Not only that, but you are fasting at this point in time, no one wants to listen to megillah.

This leaves me to realize that the only reason people are pumped about megillah is that everyone is quiet during it; otherwise, you miss a word and aren't yotzei. Who wouldn't like for everyone to be quiet at some point in time, I definitely would like that.

If you have a different reason to be pumped about megillah reading, please share.

PRE PURIM WEEK

Have you ever wondered what Mike from Midwood is going to write this, or any, week? Well there is no need to worry anymore (some cheers), because this whole week is going to a Purim themed week, with only Purim related posts (duh). So if you don't like Purim, how I don't know; then, you can skip this weeks worth of reading here. If you are like many others who like Purim; then, stay tuned for the Pre Purim Post Prep (that "post" does not mean after), with tips on how to make your Purim slightly better and with less vomit (I feel it coming already! :) ).

Upcoming posts (in no specific order; although, I would like to keep to it).

Purim themes, Purim costumes, You on Purim, I already told the Breslovs not to come! ( a collectors worst nightmare), Hey! did I miss a word? (megillah problems), and Sick to my kishkes. All in one week! All on one blog! not to mention its FREE!

This offer is not included any where else, all proceeds go to my ego, oh and of course your enjoyment, for more info take out a crystal ball, fine print fine print and more fine print.

I THOUGHT OUR COMMUNITY WAS ULTRA ORTHODOX?

I thought that our community was almost as Orthodox as it gets, then my bubble was burst when I saw this poster hung up everywhere.

A few weeks (months) ago, there was a major gathering of women in Israel. What they spoke about there was issues dealing with women, and the speaker they had was a man (rabbi). Why? well, the Rabbanim (men) felt that a women (rebbetzin) could not make a public speech, because it was immodest, even though it was in front of only women (you could argue that, but lets not and say we did). Now, when I saw this poster I thought, of course a man is going to deliver the speech (the rabbanim in Israel said so), right? . Well, I was wrong, in fact there is not one speaker who was a male; plus, no one said anything about that, and its the third week of this. Which leads me to think, "Are we that Orthodox?". Ill leave you to decide.

Although the Wolf is a professional photographer, I believe I did a great job, you could say I really captured the moment ;)

A ROCKING SHALOM ZACHOR

I was at this sholom zachor a while back. I knew the guy somewhat, and I was in the area, so I went (sorry Moshe not referring to you). I went in, and heard loud, loud singing (off key of course), but they were awesome. They sang just about everything; I believe they were drunk. I said my mazal tov and stuck around a little bit, to marvel at the site.

I have been to many shalom zachor's, none of them had any singing going on like this, if any at all. The atmosphere was pretty light, not like those tense shalom zachors were everyone is afraid to eat anything unless the ba'al simcha forces it down their throat. No, this one was good, the food was almost gone when I came, except the mint chocolate tray.

Things I noticed about a shalom zachor, and at any sort of simcha but especially a shalom zachor, is that there are always the assortments of mint chocolate that no one really like to touch. Some of them are; the jelly ring covered in mint chocolate, the mint chocolate with a disgusting filling, next to that is, the mint chocolate (sort of like a chocolate chip) with the sprinkles on it; no one likes them at all, don't know why everyone buys them.

Also at any simcha you will have the old guy (they tend to be old) who is worried about the children near the drinks (alcohol). As some kid is trying to snatch a cup of Bartenura, or some bad dry wine from Baron Herzog, this guy will say "hey wheres your father, you cant have that" as he snatches the bottle or cup away from the kid. These guys never enjoy the simcha they are at.

Well this shalom zachor was different, none of those old guys (maybe that explains the wild kids), but the mints where there, and it definitely was one shalom zachor to remember.

FINDING A NEW SHUL

You have been searching for a new shul; ever since you got into one of the biggest fights in your old shul due to a guy forgetting someones Hebrew name. After your friend nagging you about this other shul you could go to, you decide to go there. You have absolutely no clue what this shul will be like, all you know is that its supposed to have a good kiddush and, anything is better than your old shul. You think to yourself "Why didn't half of the minyan from your old shul separate and make its own shul?". You answer that with "I would probably fight with them either way". You are still not so thrilled about this new shul.

So you head out to this new shul on shabbos morning. It occurs to you that this place is a black hatter shul, due to all the black hats. You find your friend, who told you to come, you wait till chazaras hashatz, not too long being that you walked in during baruchu. For some reason, you decide to take the seat of someones makom kavuah (usual seat he prays in). The guy doesn't say anything, rather he stands very, very close to you. Being that the guy doesn't use any deodorant, or cologne, you decide to move only to shoot him a dirty look. The guy intern, waves his smell at you with his hat.

So you pick a new seat. At this new seat you are sitting next to the loudest, worst voiced guy in the shul. Not only is he the loudest worst voice in shul, but he even goes as far as to use the chazans tunes while not pronouncing any of the words. So you are sitting right next to the guy who wont put his lips together on any of the words he says. You wonder to yourself " Is there a guy like this in every black hat shul? (the truth is, there is one in every black hat shul)". You decide to tell the guy off, he responds with an even louder than possible davening. To get back at the guy, you take away the tissue box the guy ever so needs for his drooling mouth (the drooling mouth is caused by not closing his lips as he says the words). Don't think Mister drool faced loud mouth doesn't have a plan, as he begins drool over you. You in return give back the tissue box.

After you are done chazaras hashatz, at which you would have talked to your friend only to be shushed repeatedly by the rabbi, you feel like this shul isn't for you. Leining is over, and you are thankful that a fight didnt start out over hebrew names. Your friend decided to request hagbah for you, you would have told him no, but whats done is done. After leining you get up there to do your thing. You say to yourself "this Torah isn't so hard, plus its pretty much even on both sides". You take the atzai chaim and thrust the Torah up in to air.

As you are turning around, to show off how well you did the job and how many columns you got, there is a guy behind you who starts to grab on to the Torah where ever he can. You tell him to stop, its going to fall, but the guy is to worried you don't have control of the Torah he tells you. You tell him repeatedly "hagbah isn't that hard I got, I got, your making it worse. He tells you "sit down already I don't want to fast 40 days!". The hagbah freak is now pushing you into a seat, and now guy who doesn't use deodorant is getting into the mix, you lose your balance and now the Torah falls. Everybody is shocked to see what happens.

Instant turmoil begins to erupt. People are screaming, the Rabbi runs to pick up the Torah, children are screaming for their mothers, a fire has broken out, how you do not know. One guy is trying to sneak his way out of shul so its as if he doesn't need to fast forty days, someone else jumps out the window in an attempt to do the same. A different guy punches you in the face and says "I cant fast 40 days I'll starve to death". You tackle j=him and scream back "you can eat at night, and its not my fault, its the hagbah freaks fault". Another guy knocks you off him and shouts back "I am not Muslim, I don't celebrate Ramadan" You scream back "they all eat in the bathroom anyway, don't you know?" another guy hits your friend over his head with a chair. You charge at the guy for hitting your friend. Now the shul is in complete chaos, everybody is hitting everybody. Loud mouth drool guy is coming after you, along with makom kavua guy. The fire that started before, is now getting bigger, everyone is forced evacuates the shul.

The screaming continues as the police come. They decide to arrest only you, on the charges of assault, damaging holy articles, and holy sites. As you are being carted off, you think to yourself, "That idiot if only he would have let me be, and now I have to fast in prison &*$%^&*@ " You curse out everything (mister loud drool face) and everyone (makom kavua guy and hagbah freak) that have made your shabbos a difficult one, and swear to never set foot in that now burnt down shul.

So this shabbos, people, be thankful your shul is..... no....no... there is no moral to this story, too bad.

THE DENTIST OFFICE FROM..... choose your own words (plural).

On Friday I had a dentist appointment (I brush my teeth regularly so I don't have to worry much). As I know, the dentist waiting room is meant to wait a long time, so I decided to bring my Ipod with all 17 songs (1 hour and 25 minutes worth of music. 5 multiply it by 17). The appointment was set for 11AM. I got there at 11:05, to be exact. I signed in and sat down to wait. I got my X-rays within minutes. I noticed something weird, all the women, when finished their appointments, went to the bathroom. I also noticed that people who walked in after me, and signed in after me, went before me. So I walked up to the secretary to see whats going on. Turns out I was behind one person. Then it turned out I was behind one person for an 1 hour and 20 minutes. When the clock hit 12 I was wondering what is taking so long. At 12:30 I was pissed off because my Ipod battery died before, and now I was staring into space bored out of my mind. So after getting in at 11 AM, my appointment actually started at 12:50, and I was out of there by 1 PM.

Turns out I need to start flossing (when don't they tell you that), otherwise I was good to go, and my wait was for nothing. What I couldn't believe next was, when I was leaving I asked, why it took such a long time. They answered that I came at 11:30 and I got in at 12:30. I showed them the sign in sheet and... lets just say they wished they never spoke, and they were so wrong about 12:30.

That's hopefully my last experience with that dentist office.

DAMN TERRORISTS

There is a group in Israel, which cant stop to terrorize the people. Week after week, they continually target its citizens. They hide behind the the ones they target, in fact they target their own. They are extremists calling for women to be covered from head to toe. They segregate their own kind. They are a semi unorganized group, only coming to attack briefly and then scurrying away.

The Israeli government despises these people. The government doesn't really know who to contact, to call for a cease fire. The government has been patient with them, and it can not attack, because who are they going to fight against, only civilians. Even if the Israeli government would ask for a cease fire, these ruthless people would never stop. This group is calling for Israel to aid their poor families, and yet they hate the government.

Years of violence; throwing rocks, heavy beatings, all to support their radical views. Will it ever stop? has the U.N. ever condemned these terrorists? They cant take a system that differs from their own, they go all out against it, using all sorts of violence. I call for a rally against these people. Their children are being taught from a young age, to hate anything that's not like them. In my eyes (not theirs) its sickening; men beating up women, which is morally wrong, all for not dressing up to their standards. Is this not a crazy people? Do they not leach from the government they hate? The answer to all this is a big YES, and these terrorists wont be stopped till crushed. These terrorists I am referring to, are Charedi. Yeah that's right, you'll see all those categories fit with them. Are their intentions that much different from radical Muslims?

Okay, so I might be going a little overboard here.

AS THE BALL FALLS SO DOES EVERYTHING ELSE

At exactly 12:00 01 (that is 12 o'clock and 1 second) the big ball in times square will have fallen, it will mark the end and the beginning of a new Gregorian year on your Gregorian calendar, so does it represent everything else that's gone on this year.

The stock Market has fallen: The Dow Jones, and other big stock organizations, have taken the plunge. For the first time in a lot of years we are lower than some number, excuse me if I gave up on were the market is these days. People have plummeted to their deaths, jumping off building, they couldn't take the fact they lost so much. As the people jump up and down, happy to see the ball drop, do they know it symbolizes how far we are from the top?

The economy has caved in: Now more than ever people are losing their jobs. Companies you would never have thought could go bankrupt did. Some disappeared, some merged. Doesn't matter what happened, it means that things are on a slope, that has been rained on for too long, and is ready to give way to all the pressure. As the people jump up and down, happy to see the ball drop, do they know it symbolizes how far we fallen from the top?

The missiles have came raining down: Israel has been attacked for months now, with a shower of Kassams every day. The region of Darfur has been in turmoil. Russia invaded Georgia. Gaza is being reduced to rubble. Iraq is still a danger, the shoes came raining down. As the people jump up and down, happy to see the ball drop, do they know it symbolizes just a hop wont bring us to the top?

The dollar fell: I went to Israel and the taxi drivers didnt really want the American money. The dollar even fell past the canadian one. It went back up but its falling again. As the people jump up and down, happy to see the ball drop, do they know it symbolizes that the world is fed up?

Eveything has been a downturn for the world. The people dont realize that the ball is just a symbol of all that has happened. They cheer, and wait in the frigid cold, all to watch everything fall. That ball will not go back up, not this year. What are they celebrating? its not something to be happy about.

Okay, so its been a very pessimistic post so far. Heres a little something to cheer you up.

The Gas price has dropped: From a high 4.30 something and maybe more, to the "we would have never dreamed so low" 1.83. We have what to be happy for. Was it the offshore drilling, or was it that we were about to look for alternative energy, that did the trick. As the ball dropped, they understood that these gas prices could not be topped.

Peoples blood pressure dropped: at least mine did.

What is it that dropped and was good or bad. What does the ball dropping symbolize to you, and would it be cooler if they actually dropped it from a building, watching it smash to ground.

RATING THE BORO PARK BAKERIES part 3

After meeting up with Child Ish, we decided to (okay we planned it) hit some bakeries in boro park, to check out the sufganiot.

Korns bakery on 16th avenue: The price 1.20. I took a bite into it, hoping for something good, the taste was bland. The dough just didn't cut it, and the jelly was okay but too little of it. Service was okay. Taste is 3, and over all its a 4. Child Ish mistakenly bought a plain one, he was thinking of suing for his 1.20 back.

Schikks bakery also on 16th avenue: Price was 1.50. Very good, the jelly tasted like it was from apricots, very good. The dough was smooth and full of life. Can't remember if it was self service. Taste was an 8 and over all its got an 8.

Something (cant remember the name) Heimishe on 16th avenue: Price was 85 cents. They were pretty small, but packed with a lot of filling. It was self service. Taste was a 7, and over all was an 8.
Me and Child Ish questioned their Heimishness, basing it on Frum Punks old post about What Does Heimish Mean? In short Heimish means beards, and since there were only women behind the counter, It wasn't that heimish. Unless you say "because it was self service than the men with beards can get all their heimishness on it", and by heimish we mean dandruff from the beards, which is also known as confection sugar.

Then we went to Yossis on 15th avenue: We agreed this place was the most heimish. We also came to the conclusion heimish also means self service. At 1.50 a sufgania it seemed worth it; the guy behind the counter promised us it was the best. We tried, and found his words to be almost true. It had tons of confection sugar, very little jelly, although it was good jelly. Taste was an 8, all over a 9.

At this point in time I had 4 and Child Ish had 5, he bought two at something heimishe.

We went to Schreibers on either 14th or 15th avenue: Price was 1.00 and an okay size. There was self service. Pretty tasteless, and there was almost no jelly. Taste was a 4 and over all 3.

Then we slugged are way to the donut man on 13th avenue: Price was a dollar. We were skeptical about the taste. Turns out our assumptions were right; it tasted like a pancake with a little jelly in side. taste is a 2 and over all a 4.

Then we Davened mincha at Shomer Shabbos. We were bombarded with people asking for tzedakah this one guy came back 3 times asking for money. We shook all the fat away while we davened. After the afternoon services we set out again.

Strauss's bakery on 13th avenue: We were most satisfied with this bakery. 85 cents for a huge sufgania. The place did not have self service, we don't think its heimish. The dough was great, moist from all the oil, and jelly just came pouring out. It was definitely worth its price. Taste is a 9 and over all a 10.

Weiss's bakery on 13th avenue: 1.50 a piece. The outside was hard, once you got in it was okay. There was no self service. The jelly was good, but after a whole 2 hours of stuffing my face, I just couldn't finish. Taste was a 6 and over all a 7.

After this event, I cant eat another for a few years. G6 was right, I do have a stomach of steel, but child Ish has topped me; I had 7 and a half, and he had 9, so he gets the title of stomach of steel. As we were eating, I felt the fat tacking onto me. Our coats had tons of confection sugar, a badge of no worth, yet it showed us our skills. If eating sufganiot was a halacha, then we committed the sin of ba'al tosef (don't add to the torah).

That wraps up the the taste testing for good, and also marks the end of Chanukah. Hope you enjoyed it.

MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

I love this time of year. Not only did Chanukah come, but the biggest present of them all came. I am just so happy.

Okay, now enough with the chit-chat. This is what I mean. Israel has finally decided to take action on Hamas, we will leave Fatah for later. After months of "Cease Fire" The Israeli politicians noticed that there was something wrong. Why was it that their country had tons of citizens, who had to hide every few minutes, hoping to stay alive? Then it hit them, WE ARE BEING BOMBED!!! "What in the world will ever stop these "civilians" from trying to kill us?" they wondered, "Don't we have a cease fire? surely we cant do anything to them". After much negotiation, which got no where, and shoe throwing, which did, The Israeli government decided to actually do something about it, and only after Hamas took down the "cease fire" did everyone agree.

An air strike, starting this past shabbos, was the first offensive; killing about 250-300 "innocent" people. Times like this make me feel happy, I am not a sadist. I actually like listening to the anti-Israeli news, it tells you more about all the "horrible" things the IDF does, and I like to hear what Israel does. While on the other hand a station like Fox gives me both sides, something I don't want.

Then there are those thing which make me shudder, things like The U.N. getting involved, and peace talks. You can tell I am so not a supporter of Kadima, or likud. If only Meir Kahane were still here today. After the things which make me shudder, there are those things which make me in a state of shock and bewilderment, something like this is what I mean: (begin Quote) "Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni told NBC that the assault came because Hamas, an Islamic group backed by Syria and Iran, is smuggling weapons and building a "small army." (end quote, Begin my rant) What??? Did she just say that its because of smuggling weapons, and the building of a small army. WHERE WERE YOU!! the past few months!! Do you not get that your country is in danger, not because of an imposing army and massive weaponry, but on the contrary, they were actually firing into your peoples homes, DAILY!!! over 120 the day of the air strike!!. What are you, stupid!! obviously we seee you are. And what do you think The U.N. will say to "fear of an imposing army", Do you think their reaction will go like this. The U.N. to Israel on behalf of tzippy : "Oh yeah, sure, go ahead. We understand your needs to protect yourself from an army, who can hardly hold itself up to the NYPD, that didn't even attack yet!". Hey! Tzippy! at least say the truth, don't lie about why you are air striking them!! ( Mike In Midwood says this while violently throwing a notepad and pencil)..... "Think STUPID, THINK!!" (as Mike In Midwood violently shakes Tzippy's brainless head).

Now I have to listen to some anti-Israeli news on the assault, to cheer me up. Don't bother me unless you agree.

THE IRONY OF THINGS

Throughout my time in the blogging velt, I have been complimented and criticized. Some people say some great things and then, well.... their actions say differently. One person commented

"I luv you, mike. Don't take me too seriously, i'm an youngish thinking and looking grandmother. i love your blogs. you hit the nail on the head. you should write in a newspaper. It will probably be banned by the frummies for telling the truth. They can't stand the truth."

Then, that person never showed up again. also a person named Ahuva K said

"just found your blog.
Love the "Midwood is what everyone calls Flatbush" - that irks me as well :)"

That person didn't last long either.

Then I had a Troll, who handed me a post with 112 comments, he liked making fun of everyone, and hating everything. He did end up saying, he liked my blog better than Moshe's, but that's only because Moshe blocked him. I didn't think the post with the most comments, will come from someone, who I didn't want on my site. I also ended up blocking him. If you would like to read those comments here is the link

I liked the troll better, than the ones who complimented. The troll gave me a good laugh. So to sum up "Compliments aren't any good, and the criticism could be better".

NO WORDS TO EXPLAIN THE PAIN

Thats right. Everything I could write or feel, was already written, and it would only be, a copy of another persons post. Instead I link these; that, I feel have expressed it the best.

Chil Ish

Jacob Da Jew

Torat Ezra

I encourage you to read them.