Frummie Love Story part IX: The cure is in the sickness

The confusion settled in with Chana as to what Yitzchak would think of her. She felt to afraid to go out with someone who she herself didn't have an opinion of, or maybe it would help once she got to know him, this only added to the confusion. She was afraid to think one way more than the other for fear of herself plunging into the wrong direction, she needed a fresh look at things.

It just so happened to be that Chanas mother, Penina, had too much of her daughter waiting around for mashiach to come till she gets married, and instead made shidduch date for Chana herself. Penina was worried her daughter couldn't choose any boy, she wouldn't even take the nice boy from the Silberberg family down the street. After the last talk about it they had she needed to take action while her daughter was "hanging out" with friends and not caring (actually she was looking for a bochur using shadchan detective methods).

It was like getting married with a shotgun on your back, that's how Chana felt when she heard her mother set her up to go out with boy that night. A very forced feeling and very uneasy one; she was not coming out of it with a good feeling. She didn't know what to expect from who her mother set her up with, she just thought the worst. What was her mother doing behind her back anyway? Too many things and too little time to get ready.

The boy stopped in front of the house at about 8. She walked from the house to the yeshivish car alone, the boy didn't even open up the door for her to get in, it was already a lost case. They went to some place like On The Grill. The conversation was mild to none, Chana already made up her mind that this guy isn't for her, she reaches into her bag, maybe she'll be able to call this one off within an hour and a half. She checks to see what time it is while he tells her some gemara he just learnt, its only 8:53, and....... wait its Chanas Birthday too! "Awe shoot it!" is what came to mind "What a great way to start her 22nd year and embracing old age".

She dragged through the remainder of her date, only to come home to a mother waiting to hear how it went. She lied and said it went well and that she was happy her mother cared for her. Her head was clear after the date, it was like a cup of water thrown in her face. She realized that she might be closer to her mother if she kept up the good attitude, and that she needs to be more decisive when it comes to dates, it either works or doesn't that's what blind dates are for. Maybe the date with random bochur wasn't that bad after all. So Chana decided and a call to the "shadchan" tomorrow was on its way.

Frummie Love Story Part VIII: The Making Of A Shadchan

Okay, before I write the 8Th part to this wonderfully long story which has seen its fair share of emotions and Shadchan detectives, I have to wish a great big Mazel Tov to two bloggers who are now engaged to each other, Mak and Child Ish. You might go as far as to call it a real frummie love story in the making and may they build a bayis ne'aman b'yisroel. Aymen, or uhmane, or Ahmen, or even Ooomine if your chassidish.

Shabbos once again came and this time with the amazing feeling of unity that Chana was feeling within herself. She felt that Yitzchak Pomerantz was going to be part of her life, read her Jewish poetry and charm her, and it would be bliss. Just there was one little problem, she still had to go out with him and she didn't feel right asking him directly without a shadchan, and she couldn't use a shadchan because they don't treat Chana as shidduch material (see big problem).

This was all it came to, all her work was stuck at one little road block. She remembered reading somewhere that love conquers all, she thought about the line trying to give it a religious perspective so she would believe in it. Something like if you want something enough hashem will help you, came to her mind.So she had to make a plan that would work, like her somewhat successful plan to help her find out Yitzchoks name. She discussed it with Rifky. They thought about pickup lines, but saying "Wow your hat is just so shtark wanna talk about it over some chalav yisroel coffee" wouldn't work for two reasons. The first being that he would probably be scared off by it, and two its really not the greatest pickup line in the world, sorry to all the frum people who wanted to use it, I suggest not to it wont get you far.

Chana and Rifky decided to say tehillim and hopefully hashem will grant them the idea they need. After two hours and the whole tehillim, they came up with a brilliant plan. They will turn Rifky into a shadchan and she will set them up, thereby nullifying any sort of complication possible, including shidduch resumes with stupid questions.

At the end of the day Chana knew that she was on the right track. But different feelings of doubt arose, "Will he like me?" was her question, "Will he be a nut on dates like some of those freaky stories they sometimes have in the shidduch newspaper articles that's meant for only people in the parsha to read but are really read by everyone?" was another. These thoughts flashed through her mind, and there was a constant battle between what could possibly happen and what she wanted to happen with each side bringing different reasons and logic. For now we leave her in a state of confusion.

Frummie Love Story Part VII: Dumping the shadchan

As the name came out of the Chaveirim guys mouth Chana felt an excitement with visions flashing before her eyes about all the different circumstances her and the bochur, Yitzchak Pomerantz, will encounter together. She had too many questions as to why he knew his license plate number to begin with, she was left in mystery and excitement, two emotions that when mixed lead to one curious energetic person.

The whole ride home in the repaired car Chana was trying to figure out the reason she found out in the most obscure way. After much thought and talking it out with Rifky, they decided it was hashgacha pratis in the making, it could only be the hand of g-d. This made Chana feel even closer to hashem, just the feeling of hashem guiding you in what you do is an amazing feeling. But of course this wasn't IT, IT was actually going on a romantic date with him and marrying while the sun is setting, then living the rest of their romantic lives together, that was IT and not just knowing he existed and his name.

Chana started to inquire about him without a shadchan, a big no no, what kind of girl would do this without a shadchan? surely one that's off the derech. Well our Chana was not off the D, but she was afraid that the shadchan would ruin her chances of marrying him because they want him for "better" girls. She was not considered the best girl out on the market, she was closing in her 22nd birthday, and being that she turned down other boys she was considered picky.

So she found herself in the lead role of detective. She found out which yeshiva he goes to, only by using her shadchan detective skills was she able to master this one, even she was surprised by how she found out. He went to a well known yeshiva located right in the heart of Midwood, one that actually had a good reputation for quality bochurim when it came to shalom bayis. Many other things were found out from constant spying on him and inquiring about him, including his amazing personality and how understanding he was of everyone.

All was perfect by the time the day of rest, shabbos, came about. Chana had fulfilled almost everything she needed to know about him before she could go on a date with him. As shabbos came with its sanctity and purity Chana felt as though her other part was coming into her to make her complete. A unity within herself, truly one of the best feelings out there.

Frummie Love Story Part VI: A Name

Shabbos had passed and the feelings Chana had were still strong. She saw her mothers face over shabbos, but it didn't matter to her what her mother thought anymore, she knew what was meant to be will happen.


During her sleep motzei shabbos she had a nightmare. She dreamt her mother saw her with the bochur and forbid Chana from marrying him, and was being dragged away from him only to see him get smaller and smaller in the distance. Chana woke up in a sweat at 4 in the morning, worrying that what she dreamt might happen caused her to have a sleepless night. She needed to remember/ relive what happened with her and the bochur in the dream before her mother saw because that was a great feeling, and when she did that, her mind would go into a state of black with images that could hardly be described or interpreted.


That Sunday morning she was tired, she gulped down some pure black coffee which she didn't like, and was off to find who that license plate number belonged to. She met up with her BFF Rifky, they planned to go to the nearest police station and have them check it out. When they got there they felt a little nervous. "Who goes to a police station to figure out license plate numbers", said Chana "I'm not liking this". "And wouldn't they ask us questions as to why we would want to know?" replied Rifky "I don't think we should do this". So they chickened out.

When they got back to the car the found out they had a flat tire, "Oh baruch hashem I knew I shouldn't have parked in the Ill slash your tires zone" said Rifky. They were stranded in front of a police station with no way to get back, what were they to do? (Join us next week when Frummy love Story continues.... Not!, no seriously join us next week anyway). They decided to call chaveirim.

Within moments the chaveirim were there ready to change the tires. While one of the guys was changing it they started some Jewish geography with him. Chana and Rifky looked at each other then nodded, they decided to ask him about the license plate number, maybe he know? When asked the helpful chaveirim guy looked at them in astonishment, he couldn't believe they knew the license plate of his wife's second cousins mechutans daughters 11Th grade teachers 1st cousin once removeds son!... ! Chana was ready to jump for joy but didn't want to jump in front of a man because that's not tznius. They asked for a name, Chana kept trying to guess what it will be in her mind before it came out of his mouth. Yitzchak Pomerantz the "mechanic" said.

Frummie Love Story part V: Shadchan Detective

The time Chana needed to get over her mothers harmful words had hardly passed. The pain was there, but she decided that it wasn worth it if she let that get in her way of meeting this bochur, she had to move on though it still hurt her. What if her mother was right and she would become a spinster ran across her mind, flashing every time the subject would come up. Nevertheless she stuffed that thought in the corner. She realized what she had to do find a way to get that bochur into her life.


She talked it out with her BFF Rifky, they came up with a plan that will enable them to find out where he at least lives and then a chance at getting a name. Chana prayed for it to work, she even gave some money to kupat ha'ir and read the whole tehillim. Everything she had wished and believed in were on this last attempt including proving her mother wrong in a sense. If this didn't work she might not be able to emotionally handle the consequences it would come with, so it had to go through.

That Friday Chana went back to the same overgrown mini market at the same time she did last week, everything had to be the same for this to work. Unlike last time where she was daydreaming through the aisles, this time she's keeping her eyes peeled, although she couldn't remember his face, she would know its him from the jolt of life she would get when she sees him. Her friend Rifky waited in a car for the text message from Chana and things would go into place.

Chana saw someone with a hat and jacket turning a corner, her heart skipped a beat she felt a step closer to "it". She quickly went around the other way dodging carts and old women with baskets, she realized she isn't the typical Bais Yaakov girl now. As she turned on the other side her balloon of excitement deflated it wasn't him, she made a 180 and was about to start moving when in front of her was THE BOCHUR.

She could have fainted if she wasn't so embarrassed to, she said her sorry though she felt like saying thank you. The bochur on the other hand had a sweet smile on his face and said "isn't this the second time? I beginning to enjoy these occurrences" as Chana blushed. Instantly a big smile jumped on her face, it was him, somehow they met again, and he didn't seem afraid of weird occurrences he was able to keep his cool. Chana was just ecstatic. She waited around till she saw he would leave, then she texted Rifky when he did. Rifky who was waiting in the car, saw him and followed him from there till he went into a car, she took down the license plate number and texted chana it was done. Soon they were going to find out who owned this car and with that a name and everything else that come with it.

That shabbos Chana had a new feeling besides that awesome one she had last week, she felt accomplishment, this would override the bad feeling her mother gave her, who Chana tried to avoid now. At this rate who knows maybe in a week she might actually go out on a date with him.

Frummie Love Story part IV: Mother Trouble

Warning: if you are an older single be prepared to cry.

Chana could hardly believe that she couldn't find this bochur despite all the shadchanim she went through, even though she could hardly give a description. The odds were against her, he might not even be the one she was looking for, and yet she still hung on to the thinnest of threads just to make it happen, she had this women's intuition that told her to keep pushing for it. Chana decided that she is going to find this bochur and track him down, she will learn everything about him, from where he learns to how many hours of sleep he gets in a week, it will all be known.

Meanwhile, Chana's mother Penina was very worried, her daughters 22nd birthday was in a few weeks and she didn't see any new prospects for her daughter in the forecast. She decided to have a talk with her daughter, maybe she could convince her daughter, somehow, to find a match already. As Penina walked into Chana's room, she found Chana in serious thought, which she normally didn't see on her face. Penina wasn't the best at convincing anyone, so the conversation turned into more of a misunderstood one with her daughter.

Penina: "Chana I think that you... are..... waiting to long for you to settle down with someone, I mean you don't want to live all alone when you're older, right? you want to give me grandchildren, right?", Chana upon hearing this instantly was taken aback, why was her mother not supporting her and what is she thinking of me, went through her mind. She didn't want to say the truth that she was scouting out a boy, because no aidel maidel does that. So instead our Chana replied "I don't want to stay alone my whole life, I'm just.... (looking for something to say) different", she then regretted saying that because her mothers expression was not one thats desired to see. Penina was worried, what did her daughter mean by different? Penina answered back feeling even worse than before "Is that why the boys don't like you, you're different?" as Chana rolls her eyes "If that's the problem then our neighbors the Silberbergs have a wonderful boy who would be perfect for you (Chana never liked the Silberbergs boy, he was a little weird) he's nice, he's a torah observant Jew and he has much in common with-". Chana: "-stop stop", in a sudden outburst "you don't understand!......... just let me breathe right now!".

Penina walked out seeing she didn't really help. Chana was left there tear filled eyes and all. She knew her mother was right which was hard to swallow because she really didn't want her to be, she didn't want to be set up with this Silberberg boy, she just wanted her mother to either understand her or better yet, just leave her alone and not send her on this guilt trip and making obscure assumptions about her. Chana felt as miserable now as she felt joyous on the shabbos before, she felt that at this moment only time can heal the pain and time wasn't moving fast enough. All she could do for now is let her pillow soak up the tears streaming down her soft face.

Frummie Love Story part III: On The Move

Chana came home after her erev shabbos shopping with the biggest smile ever, ear to ear. She was lost in the most amazing feeling you can think of. Not only did she think her dream of that special bochur could come true, but the fact that she met that potential one made her heart give this weird turned on its side sensation that could only be expressed with a smile. It was a smile that could not be broken no matter what happened, because one way or another she would find whatever it was to be good in some way, even when she burned her hand while making chulent she couldn't resist smiling.

That shabbos was to her what a shabbos should be, but as great as it was she knew it was missing exactly what was making her happy, this potential bochur she met that Friday. She had to do something to make it true, to make it happen. That Sunday she went to the shadchan searching for this boy, being that she didn't have anything to submit to the shadchan about him, i.e. name, yeshiva, where he lives. So she basically described to the shadchan what she thinks the boy's personality was, and how he looked, which was hard to do because she couldn't visualize his facial features all she could say is he had a hat and jacket, and since many boys have hats and jackets its hard to find one specific bochur.

All week attempt after attempt failed and she desperately wanted to get somewhere and maybe go out on a shidduch date to see if he was perfect. It looked like the conventional way wasn't gonna do it, detective shadchan is in the house.

Frummie Love Story part II: Obstacles to pass

One day our Chana was strolling through the aisles at the local over grown mini market (think mountain fruit). She was doing some erev shabbos shopping through the crowded store. Unlike most people there on their bluetooths and cell phones trying to figure out what was on the list they forgot, Chana was in a sort of dream state as she randomly picked up items only to put them back after she noticed they weren't kosher enough. She was trotting through one aisle with her cart which had the one bad wheel, when there was a young man with another cart wearing a hat and jacket coming in the opposite direction. Chana instantly pops out of her fantasy and notices this handsome bochur. Being that the aisles are too small to fit two carts at once this then happens.

"Oh sorry about that, baruch hashem, I'll just try to move to the right, sorry" Chana said in a nervous tone. "No its okay, I shouldn't have come down this aisle if I saw you were there" said Bochur. It takes a few turns from one side to the other and the cracking of held back smiles till the episode passed.

Something about this boy struck a chord in Chana's head, she replayed the whole scenario over and over again in her head. When that wasn't enough she would imagine different conversations in different instances and how it would play out. She quickly texted her loyal friend Rivky about what had just occurred, the texts looked much like this. Omg no way, ahhhhhh! lol. Yes and it was amazing lol ahhhhh! omg omg. No way, could it be aaahhhh aaaahhhhhh aaaaaaaahhhh! it may come true (shriek). Hashem has baruch hashem answered my tefillos ahhhh!.

After awhile Chana realized that it was just one time, she may never see him again, and who said he was actually what she was looking for, she was determined to find out everything, sort of like a nosy shadchan who has to know everything, and a lot like a detective who doesn't just ask the person directly, she was her own personal detective shadchan. Thankfully Chana read all those Nachman Seltzer books, and when she was younger, the forbidden detective series gemarakup which had gemara in it so girls couldn't read it (The books Nachman seltzer wrote have to do with finding out how to stop the ninth reich, and his other books stopping the eighth, and the sixth reich from forming, the seventh was never written because it didn't have a good plot to it).

A frummie love story part 1: Waiting for something that couldnt be

Oh shoots, its November 3rd and I haven't even started my novel for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). If you ask me I really don't expect to finish this novel in a month, but give me sometime and I might be able to get in by next years NaNoWriMo, you wont tell anybody I started a year earlier right? what you will!... fine be that way. Okay enough of that here it goes.

WAITING FOR SOMETHING THAT COULDN'T BE

Chana had been in shidduchim for a while, with little success. She had been through countless men who seemed to fit out on paper, Black hat, in yeshiva, will learn in kollel, but it never went passed date 2. She had been to many shadchanim of every type, but to no avail, something just made her turn them down. Chana's mother Penina, a very worrisome person like most Jewish mothers, had all sorts of suspicions as to why nothing was working out. Everything from looks and Ayin Har'a to maybe her daughter is an atheist went through her head. But in reality Chana knew the real reason why it wasn't working out.


It wasn't that Chana didn't like anyone she was setup with she was okay with everyone, but they were missing something she was looking for. Chana had a vision that wasn't from g-d, of the perfect bochurel for her. She had envisioned a man, a bochur in hat and shining (dimming) jacket who will come out of his Yeshivish car (off his horse) and read Shir hashiurim to her, or any other sort of Jewish poetry, while she was on her porch leaning over listening intently to the words to come out of his mouth. He would be the kindest boy out there, anyone who met him would become friends with him instantly, he'd be sweet and as romantic as frummies can get. To most this would be all but a dream, a fantasy that would never come true, but to Chana it was a reality something she hoped and longed for.

But this "reality" had a time limit, Chana was nearing the ripe old age of 22, a time were most girls were already celebrating their sons upsherin, Chana was feeling left behind and needed to do something fast. Shadchanim had told her that she sets the bar to high, that she had to lower her expectations from whatever it is she wanted, or she will never get married. This hurt Chana, having to deal with the fact that she might never have that angel of a chosson. Her FFB BFF (Frum From Birth Best friend 4ever) Rivky, the only one who knew about Chana's fantasy, was half heartedly supporting her dream. On one hand the dream was great, but on the other it was unrealistic and wont ever happen.

There were countless nights Chana went to sleep crying, hoping, praying and waiting, and every morning she would wake up with a wet pillow and a broken heart still yearning for that for her other half. Yet, somehow she would have this feeling of "its gonna happen soon don't worry", run through her, giving her an emotional boost, and she would function like a normal person for another day till the cycle repaeats itself.

Part 2: OBSTACLES TO PASS