WHAT FRUMMIES THINK TODAY

Today was a normal day in the frum community. Obama was elected to become president by our nation. The first thing I heard today was from a Jewish lady. She came out of her house asking "who won?" and I said "Obama did". She gives me a look and says "Hashem would never do such a thing". I held myself back from laughing in her face. Next I heard a guy singing G-d save America (parody of G-d bless America). So I asked him why do you sing this song of depression. He says "Obama won yesterday why shouldn't I be singing this". I gave him a piece of my mind. "Why do you think Obama is bad. Is it because he is black" I ask. He says "yes". I say you're a racist. He agreed. I say your an idiot (he doesn't agree). He says "no its bad for all Jews, since Obama is black and all the black people will start doing whatever they want since Obama will pardon them. I said "You re an idiot" again and left.

Then I got the person who felt like he wanted to leave America. I ask "where are you going to go?" He said "anywhere Obama wont create another Holocaust". I didn't want to deal with this guy. I also bumped into a person who believes Moshiach will come because of Obama. I asked him "Why" figuring I would get to add another dumb answer to my list of why Moshiach and Obama go hand in hand.

Here is my list. Moshiach will come when Obama becomes president because: When Muslims will rule the world Moshiach will come and Obama is a Muslim even though he goes to church every Sunday. 2) in Tanach it talks about Gog And Magog and if you take enough letters and pick and choose the right words in no specific order it says Obama is the ultimate cause of moshiach. 3) Because of some famous Mekubal who no one is able to remember his name said that Obama is the reason moshiach will come because he (and this a mix of two answers) is black and a black cant rule a country and if he does it means Moshiach. even though most African countries for the past 3000 years and more have had black rulers. 4) because a huge war is supposed to happen throughout the whole world and Obama is planning this war. 5) because Obama wants to create another Holocaust and we say never again so it must be Moshiach is coming. 6) This is the one I heard today. It says in Navi if someone who wants to distribute the wealth (of course it doesn't say this straight out you have do Gematrias) and he is black and Muslim, Moshiach is going to destroy him. (By the way all these answers were truly said). So to all those who said Obama is bringing moshiach I asked "than why don't you want Obama to win? don't you want Moshiach?" and to this they were all stunned, all except one who said that this is not the way Moshiach should come.

This is what frummies think today. I am more scared with their answers than Obama with a shotgun.