JUDAISMS NEXT TOP MAIDEL

A new reality TV series on the all Jewish network Shidduch Central, has become all the rave among orthodox TV watchers, much like the hot game show Magen David. Judaisms Next Top Maidel is an intense show that features 12 Jewish girls who are competing to become Judaisms most talked about single. The girls go through a series of competitions that requires them to look their best in black and without any makeup. They are rated by a panel of rabbis who wont look at them, to determine who will be the next top maidel.

There are some who object to this show, too much gossip is emanating from it. Last week we left off with 5 contestants, when Batsheva was eliminated she had this to say "(Sobbing with tears coming down her eyes) I... I... I tried my hardest (sob) and I just didn't make the cut, I guess next time I need to have more bitachon in hashem. Baruch Hashem at least now I'll be able to see my family again (sob)." This lead to many blogs and the Jew S Weekly to promote gossip about her, saying that Batsheva had went into a serious depression and was now outside the box for potential shidduch matches, this only enraged those who dslike the show.

The show still seems to be a big hit among many despite the objection by some. It just seems to have everything, drama, like when Sarah got into a big fight with Esther because they both wore the same shade of black, and of course it has the private interviews with people getting really emotional for no reason. All this adds up to the most watched show on Shidduch Central.

Judaism Next Top Maidel airs Wednsdays at 8:00 O'clock eastern time right after the eveniing news with YWN.

WHERE WAS HE?

Throughout the whole campaign for mayor I did not hear one good thing about Thompson. Whether I was listening to the radio, saw an ad in the Jewish press, or saw one on TV, I didn't hear anything for Thompson. All I knew of was from the Bloomberg for mayor ads, it told me Thompson wants to raise taxes, give money to people who are supporting him and something to do with contracts, but never did I hear something good about Thompson.

May be there was nothing good about him? maybe he really did all those bad things and would do them again so he felt too ashamed to even mention his name anywhere? But then why did Thompson even run if he didn't plan on getting the word out to me, or anyone else that he can do something with this state?

I just don't understand this Thompson dude, whether Obama would support him or not, like he did with Corzine in new jersey which corzine lost anyway, how would it have helped if he never said he could do anything for us! Did he really campaign and I just missed it somewhere or am I really right.

A frummie love story part 1: Waiting for something that couldnt be

Oh shoots, its November 3rd and I haven't even started my novel for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). If you ask me I really don't expect to finish this novel in a month, but give me sometime and I might be able to get in by next years NaNoWriMo, you wont tell anybody I started a year earlier right? what you will!... fine be that way. Okay enough of that here it goes.

WAITING FOR SOMETHING THAT COULDN'T BE

Chana had been in shidduchim for a while, with little success. She had been through countless men who seemed to fit out on paper, Black hat, in yeshiva, will learn in kollel, but it never went passed date 2. She had been to many shadchanim of every type, but to no avail, something just made her turn them down. Chana's mother Penina, a very worrisome person like most Jewish mothers, had all sorts of suspicions as to why nothing was working out. Everything from looks and Ayin Har'a to maybe her daughter is an atheist went through her head. But in reality Chana knew the real reason why it wasn't working out.


It wasn't that Chana didn't like anyone she was setup with she was okay with everyone, but they were missing something she was looking for. Chana had a vision that wasn't from g-d, of the perfect bochurel for her. She had envisioned a man, a bochur in hat and shining (dimming) jacket who will come out of his Yeshivish car (off his horse) and read Shir hashiurim to her, or any other sort of Jewish poetry, while she was on her porch leaning over listening intently to the words to come out of his mouth. He would be the kindest boy out there, anyone who met him would become friends with him instantly, he'd be sweet and as romantic as frummies can get. To most this would be all but a dream, a fantasy that would never come true, but to Chana it was a reality something she hoped and longed for.

But this "reality" had a time limit, Chana was nearing the ripe old age of 22, a time were most girls were already celebrating their sons upsherin, Chana was feeling left behind and needed to do something fast. Shadchanim had told her that she sets the bar to high, that she had to lower her expectations from whatever it is she wanted, or she will never get married. This hurt Chana, having to deal with the fact that she might never have that angel of a chosson. Her FFB BFF (Frum From Birth Best friend 4ever) Rivky, the only one who knew about Chana's fantasy, was half heartedly supporting her dream. On one hand the dream was great, but on the other it was unrealistic and wont ever happen.

There were countless nights Chana went to sleep crying, hoping, praying and waiting, and every morning she would wake up with a wet pillow and a broken heart still yearning for that for her other half. Yet, somehow she would have this feeling of "its gonna happen soon don't worry", run through her, giving her an emotional boost, and she would function like a normal person for another day till the cycle repaeats itself.

Part 2: OBSTACLES TO PASS

NOACH WAS LAST WEEK

So this Friday I walked into my house like any other day. I immediately hear a loud shriek, it did not come from my downstairs neighbors which I found out are Armenian and very noisy, it came from my sister. I then interpret the shrieks to mean there is a squirrel in our house. My sister ran into a room and hid there, one of my brothers didn't want to come out of the bathroom, it was quite funny.

I was left alone to chase the squirrel out of my house and back into the trash cans searching for leftover pizza, yes I was fearless. I took a broom and looked in every closet and room, and under every bed and chair, but I could not find it anywhere. We left the door opened so it can leave by itself, so I thought it was gone. Some were skeptic about it leaving and my sister kept shrieking at everything that moved. After a while it reappeared and everyone was running again except for me. After a many attempts at hitting it with my weapon of choice (my broom), it scurried out of my house and into the concrete jungle, everyone was relieved.

Later a bird flew into my window, the window was closed, and it got hurt, I felt bad. Now just to repeat my title, I think the animals thought my home was the teivah and that this past weeks parsha was Noach, why else would they come.

Studies on YWN and VIN commenters

VIN and YWN have been the source of ridicule amongst the Jewish websites. It seems that if anyone is poking fun of any site its usually one of these two. It has come into question as to why people cant help but laugh at whats written in their comment sections, and post them up on blogs and Facebook profiles.

A recent study done by the National Committee for Spotting Stupidity (NCSS) came to prove the theory that the commentators on YWN and VIN are completely blind sighted when it comes to reading the news. Their lack of respect for fellow commentators has been shocking, at any given point in a day there is hate, and coffee, being spilled in their coffee rooms. Many have come to call other commentators such terms as, Shygetz, Anti-semite, Goy, Nazi, Mashiach stopper, and Shygetze mashiach stopping goy, and many more such terms. But the hate is not the only thing bringing people from all walks of Judaism to laugh at these sites, The NCSS has taken a poll that has shown that the average VIN commenter has a stupidity rating of 67% that is light years above the stupidity of the national commenting average which stands at 38%. But what is even more shocking about the NCSS's study is that the average YWN commenter is 12 points ahead in stupidity compared to a VIN commenter, YWN stands at a whopping 79% in stupidity, an earth shattering point.

After hearing these latest announcements from the NCSS a YWN commenter had this to say "What can we do? we Frum Jews are removed from society, its the non frum Jews who should have better morals" and when asked what happened to being a light onto nations he responded with "Its all because we done have a strict enough tznius level, if only we were to wear cardboard boxes we would be passed this nisayon, hashem yirachem. I better give two dollars to kupat ha'ir so this halachah can be passed and our yeshua can come".

With the mystery out of the way we can only look to the future to tell us if they will be stupid and keep to what they are doing, or they will find a more civilized and less foolish way to comment, being that they have such high stupidity rate their chances look bleak.

YANKEES

I don't care if BOSD enjoyed the Yankees loss with her sister the other day, because today they washed that away with a win against the angels, moving them to the world series v.s. Philly, the defending world champs.

It was like watching the Yankees of old, approximately 10 years ago, you had Andy Petitte pitching, Derek Jeter, Posada with Mariano closing it out. When that last pitch came and you held your breath, waiting for the outcome which takes .5 seconds which in ended in a strikeout, a few thing ran through your head, "That's a strike, its a strikeout, its three outs, its game over, its series over, the Yankees are going back to the world series which they left in '03, its been so long", as tears stream down your eyes.

To begin the game Petitte pitched great but the angels scratched a run anyway, it looked like it might end in a one nothing win for the angels because the Yankees kept putting runners on and never actually scored them in. But that all changed when Damon hit a two run single, that set the tone for the game. There were many great defensive plays for the Yankees, one from the outfield to double up Guerrero on first, and Cano who made his way to the hole and threw to first for the out and held the runner on second base, but some of the most significant help came from the angels themselves, they forfitted the game on purpose..... I'm only kidding, the angels commited a few key errors which helped the yankee's enhance their lead.

When Mariano Rivera came out it was like the fat lady singing, you knew it was over, two strong innings of support and that propelled the Yankee's to extend their post season stay another few games, which I predict they win in 5.

If you are a fan then you understand why its a big deal, and if you're not then start figuring it out so you can party with the rest of us when the Yankees go for number 27.

NOBAMA

Recently our beloved "left moderate" president was asked by a fourth grader "Why does everybody hate you?". A funny question you might ask a president, ain't it? I am wondering how the kid found the courage to ask him altogether. Of course Obama gave him a bogus answer along the lines of "People like me because I was voted in, but they blame the president because its a bad economy not that its his fault". Despite Obamas answer, the nation does seem to hate him, his approval ratings have been moving just like the stock market, down. From last weeks ratings he only has 52% of the country approving of what he's done, that's down from 67 percent on his inauguration day, it never went higher.

It happens to be that I have Obama's book, the biography, I don't know why he has a biography already if he isn't near old age, wouldn't you want to get his life into the book, its a biography, half his life isn't even over. I didn't want to read it from the start it looked boring, maybe he is boring too. His book may have been a bestseller but three anti-Obama books have also made it to the tops, just goes to show what the people really favor.

Recently my friend and I were in a library when we saw a movie about Obama, I asked my friend if he wanted to see it, to which he replied "No way man I don't want to waste my time" and could you believe my friend declined when we saw it was a two disc special! I couldn't believe he turned it down. I can only conclude that people don't care about Obama and they despise his presence in the white house. Besides that, you know how many racists there are out there that just don't like him because hes black? I know a few (I'm still waiting for the 7 pesukim in neviim that have obamas name in it to bring mashiach).

Although Obama does have a point, people did vote for him so some must like him. To this we can say, when people voted for him he was portrayed as a moderate left winger who had ideas about bringing two parties together and finding solutions that were a little lefty, and he said that Israel has a right to defend itself (then he went to the Arabs and said they should have Jerusalem), but that person wasn't voted into office, what made its way into office was a socialist who blamed America for everything and denied Israel its right to building in its own infrastructure, that is not who people voted for. Now you can say that people don't like Obama even though they voted for him, because he wasn't voted in for what he holds but for what we thought he holds.

Here's what should have been answered to the kid in fourth grade "yes you're right, people don't like me, I have done little to nothing to help our economy and my ideas are too socialist for this country. There are people out there that like me from other countries, but they like me only because I trashed America, our country. So the answer to your question boy is they don't like me because I don't fit with this special country, if I was leader for a different country they would love me because thats were I fit, But not here".