Monday, December 15, 2008

MORE GREAT INVENTIONS

After coming out with, the pre cut toilet paper, and tefillin sweater, the company that made them, came out with a few other ideas.

The Mitzvah Muzzle. For all those times in middle of Chazaras hashatz, you feel you just need to talk. Don't worry any more with the Mitzvah Muzzle you wont be able to speak to anyone, helping you keep halacha. It also comes with garlic breath, to chase away those who wish to talk to you. If you Buy now, we will throw in the Lashon Hara Gag, for 50% off.

The Blinders. Have you ever walked anywhere besides Meah Shearim? Do you know how much Pritzus there is out there? With the Blinders you will be able to walk freely, without having to see anything immodest. This great device injects a green poison, into your eyes, every time something immodest passes bye, blinding you till it passes. Long term affects include complete blindness.

When was the last time you couldn't remember when you ate Fleishigs? Never will you have to remember. The Fleishig Alarm will tell you. All you have to do is press the "ate" button and automatically it will beep 6 hours later. It attaches to your belt, or fits in your pocket, or placed it on your dashboard in your car. Included in this offer, is The Milchig Alarm. It will beep five minutes after you ate to remind you, you can eat fleishigs.

We all know you have a Tallis bag. Introducing the Talis Kattan Bag. Store your tzitzis, in this useless item, over night. Available with name tags.

Hashgacha Bar Code Reader. Ever wonder which hasgachos are not deemed worthy enough to keep. With this new Hashgach Bar Code Reader you don't have to think at all. Just run the Hashgacha under the reader, and a sign will appear to tell if its worthy enough.

Remember if order within the next 10 minutes, you can get all this, at the low price of 399.9 (no that decimal is not in the wrong place, oh wait it is 3999.9).

If you thought these where useless, how about that Tefillin sweater they made, with Zipper sleeves. To tell you the truth I can roll up any sweater, no problem. If you have any other ideas share it, don't patent it.

10 people gave their 2 cents:

NotaGeek! said...

Great ideas you should put a patent on them...

Mikeinmidwood said...

Not A Geek

I only patent ideas that will sell.

Child Ish Behavior said...

You know, some of these ideas are really worth inventing for real. :)

Mikeinmidwood said...

Child Ish Behavior

Which ones

Child Ish Behavior said...

The Fleishig Alarm, of course, who can remember?

Moshe said...

Isn't there already a fleishig alarm?

All of these ideas are doable, all you need is some big rabbi's secretary to sign on them and then all the stupid frummies will go and buy no matter the price.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Child Ish Behavior

You could set your phone to 6 hours from then. O' right the KPhone doesnt have an alarm.

Moshe

Ill be rich. pleases dont patent them first.

Something Different said...

There is an app in the iTunes app store called parve-I-meter that you press a button when you finish eating and of tells you when you are milchigs.
Looks like we may have a patent infringement case on our hands...

Mikeinmidwood said...

Something Different

Thanks, I am now going to call my kosher lawyer, on my kosher phone.

Moshe said...

We need kosher radio with kosher loshon hora to listen to.