Friday, December 12, 2008

MAGEN DAVID (spoof on pyramid)

Welcome to Magen David, the show where we evaluate shidduchim. Yeshivah bochur walks in. "Heeeeeres your host... Random Shadchan" Says the announcer. Rabbi guest walks in. Random Shadchan tells us what the winner will get "The winner of this; gets a shidduch date, with a girl who calls herself, not your typical bais yaakov girl". The crowd cheers. Yeshivah Bochur sits down in his seat, rabbi sits across from him. "Remember the rules" the shadchan says "There are five questions, rabbi you cant tell the bochur the actual answer, only hints. When you get it correct, you will hear a Ding! sound, okay.

You have 20 seconds on the clock. The topic is Life. start now! Rabbi doesn't understand how to work the computer. Bochur tells him "just read whats there". Rabbi understand now. 12 seconds left. Rabbi hints "Where you go after you are married". Bochur "Kollel!". Ding! Random Shadchan says "good job, you are now one step closer to the prize". We stop for commercial break, on the all Jewish network Shidduch Central.

Host Random Shadchan welcomes us back "Welcome back, and as you were gone, Yeshiva Bochur has passed to the third round. He answered a tough question, on the topic of yeshiva, with "White shirts only". Once again 20 seconds on the clock, Topic for this is, Not So Bad, and start". Rabbi to Bochur "I tell you something" Bochur to Rabbi "I listen, speak, daven? Rabbi back to bochur "A rosh yeshiva says don't do something for no apparent reason". 8 seconds left. Bochur back to rabbi "Listen no matter what" Ding! "Well done" Random Shadchan says "all you have to do is get these two questions left on the Magen david, correct, and you are an okay shidduch match". Crowd cheers.

"Okay 4rth round, Yichus is the topic, the clock begins now". Rabbi "Personal questions". Bochur "my childhood, my hashkafa, My mother learns, my looks?" Rabbi "heritage". Bochur " Yichus, My yichus?". 6 seconds left. Rabbi " to some is embarrassing but to you okay" Bochur " Your great uncle wasn't frum mine was!". Ding! Host " very close but you got through". All you have to do is answer this last question, and you have passed, this harsh shadchan question course".

"Last question, don't let the pressure get to you" Shadchan says "one last time 20 seconds, the topic is Useless questions from shadchanim, and here we go" Bochur looks nervous. Rabbi begins to stutter, thinking of what to say. "uh uh uh, You use it on shabbos." Bochur "shabbos coat, shabbos hat, shabbos lamp.... shabbos toilet paper?" 10 seconds left on the clock. Rabbi "Shabbos table, kiddush, stains". 5 seconds left. Bochur "Plastic table cloth?" 2 seconds left " uh uh uh uh". BZZZZT. "Times up" the host says "sorry, the answer was white shabbos table cloth, not to be confused with, the modern orthodox plastic table cloth. Don't worry for a backup prize, we give you the "out of the box" YU girl".

Thanks for joining us on this wonderful show. All guests will receive a 10$ gift certificate to Eichlers (fine print: 10$ in Eichlers cant buy you anything). See you next time on Magen David.

12 people gave their 2 cents:

Moshe said...

About the $10 off in Eichlers. They had a sale, 20% off or something like that. I go, pick up a bunch of artscroll gemorrahs, guy rings up normal price. WTF dude, where's my discount?! Well, these are already discounted. Yeah, but that's the online artscroll direct price, not one store charges that! Sucks for you.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Moshe

Only at Eichlers. Could you believe a Yarmulke costs 5 bucks.

Moshe said...

Where?!

Mikeinmidwood said...

Eichlers

Moshe said...

I don't remember how much I paid Judaica on M but $5 seems cheap.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Cant remember how much I paid at Mekor.

Mikeinmidwood said...

In bor park ther is a place that sells for 2 bucks. I think its called the shmattah store.

Moshe said...

I wanted to get a white one, $20!!!

Mikeinmidwood said...

No way.

Moshe said...

Way. In Eichlers, Judaica on M and the store on J.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Ripp offs!

frumskeptic said...

:)