Last week me and my sister (My sister and I if you prefer) were talking. Somehow or another came up about a certain individual. This person was an idea for a match with another some one we know that came from the same background as this person.
Then came the part were I noticed something. My sister said that "it wont work out dont even try". At first I asked why. She gave me a weird answer of they dont have the same personality. I quickly retorted and said "What you wont even let it have a shot". (this is were I notice). I then said you (and people like her) are the reason why there is a crisis. You never give anything a shot if it doesnt work out on paper it means it would never work. She then dissagreed and defended herself.
All I am saying is that you cant say nothing is going to work because you think so. How many shidduchim could have been made if people would try it out and how many werent because no one thought they can pair up. This is the reason for the crisis (one of them).
Monday, September 15, 2008
ANOTHER GOOD REASON
Thought of by Mikeinmidwood at 10:40 PM
Labels: Bans and chumros, Crisis, Disgust, Jews, People, Personalities, Shidduchim, Stories
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9 people gave their 2 cents:
You tell'm Mike!
MikeInMIdwood: I won't disagree with what you said.
But at the same time, woman do have something called intuition, they can tell when something won't work. I was actually talking to the sister of my best friends future husband, in other words her future sister in law. She said that she screened all his dates, and she picked my best friend. That was really cool. But I had no clue sisters were so involved in their brothers lives. Kinda seemed weird. But if it works then it works.
Child Ish
Thanks
Babysitter
Men also have intuition.
MikeInMidwood: Perhaps, but woman are known for theirs.
Giving everything a shot based on "Why not?" is very wrong.
That attitude tends to wear people out, can you imagine going out with a girl "just because she's a girl"?
There should be some sort of comoon gorund etc before setting things up. I'm NOT talking about FBI backround checks either. Just that the two have some sort of compatiblity.
mike- I partially agree with you, people should definitly be givin more chances, but JDJ is ultimately right.
JDJ-"Giving everything a shot based on "Why not?" is very wrong."
OMG you are sooooooooo right. I'm all for giving it a try, but people really need to think things through. I cannot tell you how many dates I've been on that I just wanted to shoot somone. I literally think the person was like "OMG, I KNOW A BOY" and called me up.
My friend and I were just discussing this, and JDJ is right, you just end up worn out and unwilling to date anymore
Gotta agree with JDJ on this. Gotta have at least SOME common ground, be ale to get along and not fight like...well I was going to say cats and dogs, but in my experience, that actually doesn't happen very often contrary to popular opinion. Fight like two things that don't get along.
J Da J
Has got it right and in this case (what the post is based on) there was a common background. If there isnt a common background then yes dont try since it will wear you out.
Or your sister may have been copping out for other reasons, she just blamed in on "personality"
When you read someone a shidduch you are essentially labeling, what type of background you think they have, what you think they're looking for, where they stand socially, what you think of them in a lot of different ways. This is all based on what type of person you want to set them up with.
People would rather not others know what they think of them...and therefore reading a shidduch is sticky stuff, and a lot of people just avoid it sadly.
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