Thursday, June 25, 2009

A NEW BREED ARISES (evolution?)

The creature named Shul Shusher (or in Latin Synagogue Shushisis) is a staple in every shul, from big ones in Manhattan to the small basement shtiebel in Monsey. The shusher doesn't always accomplish their self imposed job, hence they keep on shushing. The life of a shusher is not a fun one, everyone hates you till you let them talk, even the kids hate you (just let them run in the halls will you), plus you seem to spit to often. But in some shuls there is a new type of shusher arising.

This new type of shusher, a more rowdy type, one that is more inclined throw a punch or two just to get you to shut up, is what we are dealing with. They are called the SHHHH I'm Trying To Talk To Someone Shusher, or SITTTTSS for short (the Latin name hasn't come in yet). These creatures love talking so much they make others quiet down so they can hear who they are talking to, just goes to show what kind of shuls they live in.

I myself have abandoned a few shuls due to the infestation, animal control isnt helping and Peta wont let me call the exterminator. But there is hope, they are searching for a species that will counteract the new breed and contain it.

Most experts believe the evolution of this once simple shushing creature is due to a mass of talkers concentrated in one area of a shul, thus drowning out any other noise and sometimes their own. This then irritates the talkers causing them to become more violent and turning them into SITTTTSS's. Others argue and claim they are of a totally different breed. A more recent study done by the "professors" at VIN teamed up with "scientists" from YWN , have attributed this new breed to the lack of tznius in the communities. Although there is no evidence to support their claims, VIN and YWN hold to it strongly.

Whatever the cause maybe, I really don't like being threatened by shushers and rather have them just say SHHHHH and spit on themselves while doing it.

4 people gave their 2 cents:

frum single female said...

sounds like these shushers are following the lead of radical groups who blow up abortion clinics because they dont believe in abortions.

Jacob Da Jew said...

IMO, the key is to sit in the back and shmooze only with the heavy hitters (like I do) therefore a) being able to pretend not to hear the shusher and b)heavy hitters.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Frum Single Female

I love it when people lose their sense of political direction.

Jacob Da Jew

I try not to talk, so sitting in the back isnt my thing.

Moshe said...

I like shushing the table bangers and/or nuers.

Nu!
Shh!
NU!
Shh!
NUUUU!
SHHHH!