Monday, May 18, 2009

KOLLEL-OPOLY

From the makers of the hit game Jewish Geography, comes the new game of Kollel-opoly. PB (Pollack Brothers) have come out with numerous games that represent the Jewish lifestyle, the game of life being one of them (includes the shidduch crisis and all). The Pollack Brothers were thought to have made a knock off of the original game monopoly, but they specifically said kollel-opoly had nothing to do with it.

How to play: There are up to 8 players, and 8 pieces; A black hat, a jacket, a no lace shoe, a white shirt, a yeshivishe car, one female (modestly dressed) and other such characters. Each player starts off at NU MOVE IT ALREADY (GO), where each player, as they go around the board, will collect their 200$ kollel paycheck for the month. Each player spins the dice, and whatever number it says on the dice, that's how many spaces you move. Don't worry, there is a mechitzah that lines the board to accommodate the one female player, so as to coincide with halachah.

Buying Yeshivos: To buy Yeshivos, for example: the highest priced yeshivah is Beis Medrash Gevoah or BMG (the equivalent to boardwalk) is priced at 400$. If you have a set of yeshivos in one area you can make the tuition higher for the yeshivos, just simply buy coffee rooms (houses), if you have bought 5 coffee rooms, you exchange it for a Dormitory (hotel), this increases the price of tuition in your yeshivos.

Kollel, Free parking, and go to kollel: Kollel (equivalent to Jail) you can make transactions through kollel (remember you have bluetooth and a blackberry). To get out of Kollel (chas v'shalom) you must pay a minimum fee of 50$ kinas, you may then leave next turn, you can stay in kollel up to three turns (you have to go home to your wife sometime, although not recommended). Free parking; lucky you, you don't live in Brooklyn, you cheap Jew always looking to find free parking. Go to Kollel; when you land on this space you must go directly to kollel and do not collect 200$ monthly kollel paycheck.

Children's tuition (equivalent to income tax): When you land on this space, you can either pay 200$ or you can pay 10% of your money to the yeshiva (of course you cant pay all the tuition, you're in kollel)

Wife Expenses (equivalent to luxury tax): When landing on this space you pay 75$ automatic to the bank.

Mazal and communities chest (that's right, take all the community funds for your kollel lifestyle): If you land on one of these spaces you pick up a card. Some may tell you "the community put pressure on you to learn and not work, go directly to kollel do not collect 200$ kollel paycheck" or "shvigger dies you inherit 100$" or "section 8 govt fund didn't come this month, pay for each yeshiva 100$ (remember yeshivos are in basements)" or "Rav gives you brachah you had children, pay 100$ hospital fee" or "tzedakah collector comes by and gives you sob story, pay 15$ (poor tax)".

Coffee works, Electric company, and Cities (equivalent to railroads): The cities are Kiryas yoel, Williamsburg, Lakewood and Bnei brak. The cities combine to make a big impact when together, same for coffee works ( to run your coffee rooms, obviously) and electric company (you aint paying the bill).

The object of the game is to live in a kollel lifestyle, and yet still manage to own the whole board. Have fun playing.

If you have any questions, any suggestions for a future game, or in need of more information visit us at PBJews.com

12 people gave their 2 cents:

Proud MO said...

That's funny. I think you can build your own custom Monopoly set online, I might have to make one like that.

G6 said...

I liked this post very much.
I would have made go to jail into "Go to Work" (since that's the last place a Kollel guy would want to go.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Proud MO

Thanks, and I would love to make my own monopoly.

G6

I dont think so; most dont want to be there, but what will the community think of them if they work.

G6 said...

That's the POINT!
The same that the community would think if they went to JAIL....
(in the regular community, that is... in "certain circles", going to jail happens all the time and requires kosher food and a minyan....)

Mikeinmidwood said...

G6

No ones stopping you, you can make your own version.

harry-er than them all said...

cute

i like the part about the coffee rooms.

whats the equiv. of baltic ave; YU? Chofetz Chaim, or Baltimore?

Mikeinmidwood said...

Harry-er Than Them All

I was afraid of that question.

Moshe said...

Here you goAnd your game's not kosher. How can the female player go to kollel?!

btw, it's throws the dice, not spins the dice.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Moshe

Hey, the game was made up by the pollak brothers, does that not tell you it was made by idiots?

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

That was brilliant!

Moshe: about the one woman, there's always "Kollelet" as Harry-er suggested.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Ex Babysitter

Thank you.

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

Your welcome