Wednesday, November 11, 2009

WORKING OUT

People need to exercise its a known fact, it helps you move, lose weight, helps cardiovascular system, and does many other things to help maintain a healthy state. Many people exercise, including Frum and goyim alike.

The way to jog, goyim: Jogging is one such way is to exercise. You can see throughout the early hours people jogging just about anywhere. On street corners they will be bouncing around on their expensive sneakers waiting for the light to change and start moving somewhere again. They get out there sweat bands and sweat jackets with their Poland spring "to go bottles" to keep themselves fit.

The way to jog, frummie (woman): They don't actually jog because that's not tznius so they power walk. Unlike the jogger who goes alone, the frummie woman power walk in groups that take up the whole sidewalk while catching up on the latest gossip, or while setting up shidduchim. They don't have special clothes, no sweat bands, no sweaters, just tichel or turban with cheap white sneakers, its always done in the morning. Very common on ocean parkway.

Lifting weights, Goyim: Usually done by guys with massive muscles, either they bench press the weights or they lift it from the ground above their heads, simple.

Lifting weights, Frummie: Usually done by a guy in a talis who everyone thinks has to be really strong just to do hagba. That's right, Hagba is considered this great big thing almost impossible task and only Shimshon like people could possibly manage to lift a scroll into the air, and it gets worse on simchas torah with the whole flipping idea.
Then there is the lifting of people by weddings, bar mitzvahs don't count because the kid is too lightweight. Mainly done as a group workout, but occasionally done by one specific person who puts them on his shoulders.

This is the difference between Jews working out and goyim, some say its a great thing that we are distancing ourselves from the goyim, others don't believe half of this counts as workouts. If you have any ideas to put, we are open to hear them in the comments section, titled "# agave their 2 cents", which now has word verification to prove you are human due to spam comments.

6 people gave their 2 cents:

N said...

lol this is absurd!

Moshe said...

You forgot about the more traditional frummie women jogging.
Step 1, vow to loose weight.
Step 2, buy an obnoxiously expensive treadmill.
Step 3, use it for at most a week.
Step 4, hang clothes on it and have the kids use it as a playground.

Sally Hazel said...

I like your makeover!

Mikeinmidwood said...

N

Absurd and true.

Moshe

That is exactly what happened with my mother for a few years, now she picked up on it again.

Sally Hazel

The Elmo or the post?

MAK said...

Hahaha, you do have a point there, though I make a point to actually exercise every night (barring Fridays) with CJ. We have a treadmill, and I used it. That is till it stopped working.

Mikeinmidwood said...

So you dont do the frum way, Im beginning to question how frum in florida you really are.