Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A frummie love story part 1: Waiting for something that couldnt be

Oh shoots, its November 3rd and I haven't even started my novel for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). If you ask me I really don't expect to finish this novel in a month, but give me sometime and I might be able to get in by next years NaNoWriMo, you wont tell anybody I started a year earlier right? what you will!... fine be that way. Okay enough of that here it goes.


Chana had been in shidduchim for a while, with little success. She had been through countless men who seemed to fit out on paper, Black hat, in yeshiva, will learn in kollel, but it never went passed date 2. She had been to many shadchanim of every type, but to no avail, something just made her turn them down. Chana's mother Penina, a very worrisome person like most Jewish mothers, had all sorts of suspicions as to why nothing was working out. Everything from looks and Ayin Har'a to maybe her daughter is an atheist went through her head. But in reality Chana knew the real reason why it wasn't working out.

It wasn't that Chana didn't like anyone she was setup with she was okay with everyone, but they were missing something she was looking for. Chana had a vision that wasn't from g-d, of the perfect bochurel for her. She had envisioned a man, a bochur in hat and shining (dimming) jacket who will come out of his Yeshivish car (off his horse) and read Shir hashiurim to her, or any other sort of Jewish poetry, while she was on her porch leaning over listening intently to the words to come out of his mouth. He would be the kindest boy out there, anyone who met him would become friends with him instantly, he'd be sweet and as romantic as frummies can get. To most this would be all but a dream, a fantasy that would never come true, but to Chana it was a reality something she hoped and longed for.

But this "reality" had a time limit, Chana was nearing the ripe old age of 22, a time were most girls were already celebrating their sons upsherin, Chana was feeling left behind and needed to do something fast. Shadchanim had told her that she sets the bar to high, that she had to lower her expectations from whatever it is she wanted, or she will never get married. This hurt Chana, having to deal with the fact that she might never have that angel of a chosson. Her FFB BFF (Frum From Birth Best friend 4ever) Rivky, the only one who knew about Chana's fantasy, was half heartedly supporting her dream. On one hand the dream was great, but on the other it was unrealistic and wont ever happen.

There were countless nights Chana went to sleep crying, hoping, praying and waiting, and every morning she would wake up with a wet pillow and a broken heart still yearning for that for her other half. Yet, somehow she would have this feeling of "its gonna happen soon don't worry", run through her, giving her an emotional boost, and she would function like a normal person for another day till the cycle repaeats itself.


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