Sunday, June 22, 2008

THE SHADCHANS FAULT (update on last post)

It seems that many people have caught on that you can learn and work. Which until recently didn't exist in peoples minds. I have read in the Jewish press (GASP!) that people want an LE ("learner earner"). Now its all the shadchunim's fault they didn't exist. They are telling the guys who want to be an LE that no girl would want them. Then they go to a girl looking to purchase an LE and say there is no such kind of person in stock.

In the article IM YIRTZEH HASHEM (by you) There is a person there looking for an LE. The Shadchun tells her "There is no such thing "either go find a Kollel boy (who only learns does no work) or go settle for a modern boy" ( who doesnt learn and only works or doesn't even work). Why is it that marrying someone who wants to learn and work is impossible to find?

I guess its a conspiracy of the shadchun. When someone becomes a shadchun you have to sign a contract that the only people you work with are the ones that learn and have nothing to do with being able to live with the money they make. Also this person has to have support from there parents otherwise they are disqualified. Going to college is another thing that disqualifies you. So in the end the only way to get a shidduch is to be the perfect person with no variety of different people. Its like you try one and you tried em' all.

It happens to be that in another article in the Jewish Press also talks about the same concept. The REBBETZINS VIEWPOINT had someone write that no "good girl" wants to marry him and he is an LE. I don't know where this person got his perspective but I have a clue. (see upper portion). The Rebbetzin wrote back that there are many "good girls" that want an LE and that she knows them and they want to contact this person. I can see it now the Shadchuns plot of a shidduch crisis is now collapsing.

I conclude that the Shidduch crisis was (I say "was" since it should end now) all the shadchuns fault. We just have to realize that there are people out there that can fit the "new" category of "learner earner" and I promote this new category. A shadchan should allow people to be an LE not against it. Why they are someone please explain. :)

10 people gave their 2 cents:

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

I agree with you on this one. But it seems like the LE category is growing and becoming more acceptable now. It depends on thee circles. In my neighborhood almost all the newly married young couples are LE's.

Mikeinmidwood said...


I guess it depends on where you go and it should be accepted everywhere. Welcome back.

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

MikeInMidwood: thanx!

Anonymous said...

if working people would be earning..... life would be great.

Shalom Ash said...

some great points. I agree with you.

MAK said...

Terrific post, you brought up some very good points.

Michelle said...

As a young woman seeking a working a guy, I can tell you that these guys often lament to me that they don't get too many calls.
"But you're a guy!" I tell them, but then they explain, "ah, yes, but I am a WORKING guy."
On the other hand, my brother's a working guy, and he gets maybe 4-6 calls a week. My cousin who is a learning guy gets that in a DAY!!!

Anonymous said...

I didn't know anything about Kollel vs Working vs Learner Earner until I went to seminary in Israel. I always took it for granted that the Dad goes to work to make money, and of course he goes to 3 or 4 shiurim a week at least. Mom going to work is optional, but Dad is required. When a man gives a Kesubah to his wife, doesn't he agree to provide for all her needs?

Mikeinmidwood said...


You bring up a good point


Your right a man does give the kesubah and is supposed to provide. Where did that go?

G6 said...

Ahhhh ... the pendulum begins to swing at last...
Let's hear it for the learner/earners and for the girls who are brave enough not to be pressured into marrying something they don't really want!!!
Might I add that there are shidduch websites springing up all over the place dedicated to this category of singles, such as and
Now maybe more and more "pioneers" will return to the Torah Im Derech Eretz way of life.