Monday, April 14, 2008


A great factor in the shidduch crisis is what I call the "system". The system is orchestrated by everyone besides those actually dating so everyone is made out (by others looking out for them) to seem as perfect as possible, allowing perfection to be seen as the norm.

The ideal girl is labeled a Bais Yaakov-type girl. It seems a shame that if you're not a "Bais Yaakov-type girl" you're considered not good enough and thus less desirable picking. Then there is seminary- another must. Forget about skipping straight to college- that'll surely make you second-class-citizen material. If a girl want to marry someone who will learn for a while, yet the girl can't jump into college, finding that above-minimum-wage- side job while in school is going to be pretty difficult...the husband might even have to look for a job...but you wanted to marry a learner...

The system conveniently allows the seminary year to be one of the biggest dating fodder. You would think that this wouuld solve all the problems about shidduchim, having oodles of fresh from sem girls. Well unfortunately, that's not enough to meet the criteria. There are some who do get married right out of seminary but there are those who are simply not ready.

Then there's actually going to the right seminary- otherwise you're flying under the radar. So even if you can successfully say you went to seminary you're asked which one and then it all comes right back to whether you're a "Bais Yaakov type girl." And again, even having gone to seminary, you might as well have gone to college since you're still second-class-citizen material . And hey, this is all information collected before date number one so uh...good luck to you once you've scored one.

That completes one portion of the "system". So I reiterate, not so hard to figure out why there is this crisis. My conclusion- go out with someone without so much critiquing. It's not like you're forced to sign a marriage contract after of one date.

So this people is our shidduch crisis.

1 people gave their 2 cents:

Anonymous said...

you know it is true that the girl must be from bais yaakov and seminary.