Tuesday, October 13, 2009

GET OUT YOUR DOLLARS BECAUSE THIS WORKS

It was a just few weeks ago, you were coming out of a bakery with a pound of sugar and a danish, you stepped into your car only to find a cop writing you a ticket for parking by a meter without any minutes left. The cop was about to put it on your windshield, you began to worry, you desperately needed to somehow stop this treachery from happening, you quickly think, "if the ticket doesn't make it to the windshield it really isn't finalized and you don't have to pay for it". You decide to take action, you jump out of you car quickly and try to snatch the ticket from the cops hand, but nothing is the cops hand. You look under your wiper and the ticket is already there "dam" you think as an annoyed and shocked expression hits your face.

You walk over to the cop, who has already moved onto other cars, with the ticket gripped firmly in hand. You begin to protest, you cry that this ticket is not fair, you were just about to pull out, its chutzpah and then you reclaim its not fair. The cop begins to ask you to come down and tells you that you were wrong and they aren't going to take back the ticket. You begin to shout and stomp your feet like a little four year, you would have threatened that your tatty is a policeman and can shoot him but that would be kind of stupid saying it to a cop. You decide to kick the cop, big mistake because you are now on the ground with handcuffs behind your back. You continue ranting while the cop calls for backup.

Backup finally comes, they search you for weapons and all sorts of weird things. They then decide to check your car after you stupidly gave them the idea to. As they are looking through they find your danish, which they enjoy, and your pound of sugar which alarms them, they believe its drugs although it says pound of sugar, and off you are to the holding cell.

You have every right to remain silent and they actually tell you to shut up quite a few times but you know better. They told you all the things they are pressing charges for; assault of an officer, not paying a ticket, and for acquiring drugs. It dawns upon you that you aren't getting out of this with your smart mouth. You overheard them saying that they are going to test the pound of sugar to check if its drugs. You quickly decide that the only way to save yourself is to donate money to Kupat Ha'ir b'zechus Rab meir ba'a'l hannes in hopes that your sugar is sugar as opposed to drugs, and then you can write your story in and have them publish it in there next edition.

Soon after a cop comes over to you and says, "Were sorry that we thought your sugar was drugs, it most definitely is sugar, and we should have read the label". You begin to rejoice and sing, despite the fact that you are most definitely going to jail either way (you assaulted an officer) , because giving to kupat ha'ir really did help you and "all" your troubles.

And this is why you should get out your dollars because, you see, kupat ha'ir really does work no matter how many stories of it not working they don't publish. Come on people wave those dollars.

6 people gave their 2 cents:

Jacob Da Jew said...

* Waves a 2 dollar bill *

got one from a Russian client. he says its for goood luck

Mikeinmidwood said...

Jacob Da Jew

Hmmm dont know where he got that from, funny thing is I heard waving a pickle gives good luck, maybe they got mixed yp somewhere.

my path to success said...

Interesting story.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Esther Hadassah

Thanks.

Moshe said...

Make fun all you want but one time I lost my keys and then I said I was gonna give money and I found them in my pocket, so there.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Moshe

Thats about as bad as the time i thought I lost my weight and I gave them two dollars, and you know what I found it.