Studies on YWN and VIN commenters

VIN and YWN have been the source of ridicule amongst the Jewish websites. It seems that if anyone is poking fun of any site its usually one of these two. It has come into question as to why people cant help but laugh at whats written in their comment sections, and post them up on blogs and Facebook profiles.

A recent study done by the National Committee for Spotting Stupidity (NCSS) came to prove the theory that the commentators on YWN and VIN are completely blind sighted when it comes to reading the news. Their lack of respect for fellow commentators has been shocking, at any given point in a day there is hate, and coffee, being spilled in their coffee rooms. Many have come to call other commentators such terms as, Shygetz, Anti-semite, Goy, Nazi, Mashiach stopper, and Shygetze mashiach stopping goy, and many more such terms. But the hate is not the only thing bringing people from all walks of Judaism to laugh at these sites, The NCSS has taken a poll that has shown that the average VIN commenter has a stupidity rating of 67% that is light years above the stupidity of the national commenting average which stands at 38%. But what is even more shocking about the NCSS's study is that the average YWN commenter is 12 points ahead in stupidity compared to a VIN commenter, YWN stands at a whopping 79% in stupidity, an earth shattering point.

After hearing these latest announcements from the NCSS a YWN commenter had this to say "What can we do? we Frum Jews are removed from society, its the non frum Jews who should have better morals" and when asked what happened to being a light onto nations he responded with "Its all because we done have a strict enough tznius level, if only we were to wear cardboard boxes we would be passed this nisayon, hashem yirachem. I better give two dollars to kupat ha'ir so this halachah can be passed and our yeshua can come".

With the mystery out of the way we can only look to the future to tell us if they will be stupid and keep to what they are doing, or they will find a more civilized and less foolish way to comment, being that they have such high stupidity rate their chances look bleak.

YANKEES

I don't care if BOSD enjoyed the Yankees loss with her sister the other day, because today they washed that away with a win against the angels, moving them to the world series v.s. Philly, the defending world champs.

It was like watching the Yankees of old, approximately 10 years ago, you had Andy Petitte pitching, Derek Jeter, Posada with Mariano closing it out. When that last pitch came and you held your breath, waiting for the outcome which takes .5 seconds which in ended in a strikeout, a few thing ran through your head, "That's a strike, its a strikeout, its three outs, its game over, its series over, the Yankees are going back to the world series which they left in '03, its been so long", as tears stream down your eyes.

To begin the game Petitte pitched great but the angels scratched a run anyway, it looked like it might end in a one nothing win for the angels because the Yankees kept putting runners on and never actually scored them in. But that all changed when Damon hit a two run single, that set the tone for the game. There were many great defensive plays for the Yankees, one from the outfield to double up Guerrero on first, and Cano who made his way to the hole and threw to first for the out and held the runner on second base, but some of the most significant help came from the angels themselves, they forfitted the game on purpose..... I'm only kidding, the angels commited a few key errors which helped the yankee's enhance their lead.

When Mariano Rivera came out it was like the fat lady singing, you knew it was over, two strong innings of support and that propelled the Yankee's to extend their post season stay another few games, which I predict they win in 5.

If you are a fan then you understand why its a big deal, and if you're not then start figuring it out so you can party with the rest of us when the Yankees go for number 27.

NOBAMA

Recently our beloved "left moderate" president was asked by a fourth grader "Why does everybody hate you?". A funny question you might ask a president, ain't it? I am wondering how the kid found the courage to ask him altogether. Of course Obama gave him a bogus answer along the lines of "People like me because I was voted in, but they blame the president because its a bad economy not that its his fault". Despite Obamas answer, the nation does seem to hate him, his approval ratings have been moving just like the stock market, down. From last weeks ratings he only has 52% of the country approving of what he's done, that's down from 67 percent on his inauguration day, it never went higher.

It happens to be that I have Obama's book, the biography, I don't know why he has a biography already if he isn't near old age, wouldn't you want to get his life into the book, its a biography, half his life isn't even over. I didn't want to read it from the start it looked boring, maybe he is boring too. His book may have been a bestseller but three anti-Obama books have also made it to the tops, just goes to show what the people really favor.

Recently my friend and I were in a library when we saw a movie about Obama, I asked my friend if he wanted to see it, to which he replied "No way man I don't want to waste my time" and could you believe my friend declined when we saw it was a two disc special! I couldn't believe he turned it down. I can only conclude that people don't care about Obama and they despise his presence in the white house. Besides that, you know how many racists there are out there that just don't like him because hes black? I know a few (I'm still waiting for the 7 pesukim in neviim that have obamas name in it to bring mashiach).

Although Obama does have a point, people did vote for him so some must like him. To this we can say, when people voted for him he was portrayed as a moderate left winger who had ideas about bringing two parties together and finding solutions that were a little lefty, and he said that Israel has a right to defend itself (then he went to the Arabs and said they should have Jerusalem), but that person wasn't voted into office, what made its way into office was a socialist who blamed America for everything and denied Israel its right to building in its own infrastructure, that is not who people voted for. Now you can say that people don't like Obama even though they voted for him, because he wasn't voted in for what he holds but for what we thought he holds.

Here's what should have been answered to the kid in fourth grade "yes you're right, people don't like me, I have done little to nothing to help our economy and my ideas are too socialist for this country. There are people out there that like me from other countries, but they like me only because I trashed America, our country. So the answer to your question boy is they don't like me because I don't fit with this special country, if I was leader for a different country they would love me because thats were I fit, But not here".

KEEPING YOU UP TO DATE

Things here on M in M haven't been so stable, I'm on and I'm off, I'm hot and I'm cold, I'm in and I'm out, and I cant get that song out of my head. Anyway, I promised a few things and I didn't keep up with them, I promised to finish that experiencing Jerusalem post, which never really began if you ask me, and I said I was back and I wasn't, I said I'd update that Jewish Sherlocke Holmes thing and I didn't, what can I say....... ummmm nothing comes to mind on that what can I say, because usually people say after they use the what can I say phrase something like I'm lazy or you did a terrific job or i couldn't have done better myself, but I actually had nothing to say for it.

Anyway, again, I'm going to keep you up to date like the title says, so I am not going to continue the experiencing Jerusalem post because it was going nowhere, and instead I'm going to write a frum love story because that has to be funny. Also, I am going to stay blogging even if I am slowing down at times, and for that kosher Sherlocke Holmes book I googled it in a sec so I don't see why you cant, what can i say I'm lazy, see that time I had something to show for it.

Well I hope you like being kept up to date, I felt I owed it to you guys.

GET OUT YOUR DOLLARS BECAUSE THIS WORKS

It was a just few weeks ago, you were coming out of a bakery with a pound of sugar and a danish, you stepped into your car only to find a cop writing you a ticket for parking by a meter without any minutes left. The cop was about to put it on your windshield, you began to worry, you desperately needed to somehow stop this treachery from happening, you quickly think, "if the ticket doesn't make it to the windshield it really isn't finalized and you don't have to pay for it". You decide to take action, you jump out of you car quickly and try to snatch the ticket from the cops hand, but nothing is the cops hand. You look under your wiper and the ticket is already there "dam" you think as an annoyed and shocked expression hits your face.

You walk over to the cop, who has already moved onto other cars, with the ticket gripped firmly in hand. You begin to protest, you cry that this ticket is not fair, you were just about to pull out, its chutzpah and then you reclaim its not fair. The cop begins to ask you to come down and tells you that you were wrong and they aren't going to take back the ticket. You begin to shout and stomp your feet like a little four year, you would have threatened that your tatty is a policeman and can shoot him but that would be kind of stupid saying it to a cop. You decide to kick the cop, big mistake because you are now on the ground with handcuffs behind your back. You continue ranting while the cop calls for backup.

Backup finally comes, they search you for weapons and all sorts of weird things. They then decide to check your car after you stupidly gave them the idea to. As they are looking through they find your danish, which they enjoy, and your pound of sugar which alarms them, they believe its drugs although it says pound of sugar, and off you are to the holding cell.

You have every right to remain silent and they actually tell you to shut up quite a few times but you know better. They told you all the things they are pressing charges for; assault of an officer, not paying a ticket, and for acquiring drugs. It dawns upon you that you aren't getting out of this with your smart mouth. You overheard them saying that they are going to test the pound of sugar to check if its drugs. You quickly decide that the only way to save yourself is to donate money to Kupat Ha'ir b'zechus Rab meir ba'a'l hannes in hopes that your sugar is sugar as opposed to drugs, and then you can write your story in and have them publish it in there next edition.

Soon after a cop comes over to you and says, "Were sorry that we thought your sugar was drugs, it most definitely is sugar, and we should have read the label". You begin to rejoice and sing, despite the fact that you are most definitely going to jail either way (you assaulted an officer) , because giving to kupat ha'ir really did help you and "all" your troubles.

And this is why you should get out your dollars because, you see, kupat ha'ir really does work no matter how many stories of it not working they don't publish. Come on people wave those dollars.

MIXED UP HOLIDAYS AND TASHLICH

Due to the fact that I didn't write anything about my experience on the high holidays, or anything at all, I decided to fill you on it starting with yom kippur because I cant remember rosh hashanah.

This Yom Kippur went pretty well, I liked it, smooth, a little hungry, and I was not like most people who are trying to cry at the end of Neila, I was sort of happy at the end, then I felt stupid for not pleading more with g-d. Now I really don't want to bore you with my whole Yom Kippur experience because I really just summarized it pretty well and anything I write about it will be just an elaboration of what I just wrote, so forget it (although this year I noticed that a lot of people were nodding there heads during the rabbis speech, were they trying to tell the rabbi hes doing a good job?). If you want a Yom Kippur post from me then you can read my last years post, which wasn't much of a yom kippur post either.


In other entertainment for tonight I have Tashlich memories. I went to tashlich right before yom kippur this year, was it a smart idea right before yom ha'din and all its rush, I don't think so. Where I normally do (the) tashlich is known as Cesar's bay, others may know it as "near toy's R us", and others as "The tashlich place". As I was reading away my sins my family and I realized we had no bread to throw, as one of us said, "Thats like doing bi'ur chametz without chametz" . I look around and realized that on the little ledge between me and the shore 7 feet below there was tons of bread that didn't make it into the sea, I could have used it but I didnt have rubber gloves to touch it with. Anyway, it was just standing there waiting to either rot or be eaten by pigeons, now I don't have the best arm in the world here, I do tend to air ball in basketball, but even I could throw the bread just a little further and get it into the sea. The weird fact is that bread is the most unlikely thing to make it into the water there; kippot, shopping carts, soda cans, barrels filled with radioactive stuff, and a streimel have made it more times into the ocean then bread during the tashlich season (the guy who lost his streimel climbed onto a rock sticking out of the ocean and got his streimel back).

To top all the festivities off we had simchas torah and this year was a let down, it just wasn't as fun as last year, I did the hakafos and all but it was more enjoyable last year. Many people have told me the same thing about this year.It seems as if this year I'm messed up, I enjoyed Yom kippur, and Simchas Torah wasn't so great, what happened! I seriously need to reorganize myself.