Judging people by the way they look is something people do everywhere and at every time. If I am on a city bus people will base me on the fact that I am Jewish that my nose is shaped in a weird way even if it isn't (by the way the basis for the whole Jewish nose is on a Gemara that says that the nose is what makes up the face. Meaning with out a nose we would almost all look the same.) and that I would take any penny I see laying around. It also means people will feel more comfortable sitting next to me then sitting next to the guy with the bushy mustache or the black kid with the rag (dew rag) on his head. I guess people think that the black kid is wild and the bushy guy needs his room or smells and I'm Jewish so I am more polite.
I cant say I don't judge people and its the way you get around in life but like they say you cant judge a book by its cover. A person who is not white and doesn't have regular eyes or is in a different group, that group is considered that they all act the same. That is not true we all have a brain that works differently than the next person and how one thinks is not how another thinks. And yet we still group people into upper classes and lower classes.
I'm not asking that we have a world where people are all equal and no one is better than another including the animals. The fact is that just because someone looks a certain way doesn't mean they are an outcast. This problem you could find in the shidduch world. That person wears a jacket instead of a Bekeshe (includes skirts and pants) so I wont even date that person when really this person is a perfect match. Why is it a match because its how they think not how they look that makes a person.
I was once by some Rebbes tisch in Boro/Borough (which ever way you spell it) park. And I start being shoved away from the Rebbe who I finally gotten close enough to, to see what he was doing. (I am judging people here) This is by most Chassidim they think that since I were a hat instead of a streimel I should be the last on line to about anything they are doing. Maybe they are taught that everyone else doesn't deserve to be in their group because otherwise you would be in their group, but them I'm not sure about that one. For some reason I never hear an "excuse me" or "coming through" its just shove them out of the way or squeeze in between and step on there feet. What happened to being an Aidel Yid. (someone who is a mensch)
Another stereotype of Chassidim is they don't know anything. (I don't know where I am going with this) Well if you never had a real English class that taught some science or history and math you wouldn't either. I was once in this pizza place in the mountains and this Chassidish lady goes to the counter and says "I dont want de curly fries they hurt my stomach can I have straight ones". The guy at the counter says "yeah but it will cost more" I almost laughed my head off.
Listen I dont think they need all that education anyway. If you think for a moment you'll come to understand they dont need it. They have a business called supermarkets. They open them everywhere and you dont need to much knowledge to know you need to make some money and call up Liebers for some candy, or to hire some mexicans for some cheap labor. ( I am not referring to Rubashkins).
Back to the point of this article you cant judge people by the way they look even though I just contradicted myself the last few paragraphs, its just wrong to do that. (When I am around Chassidim I dont look at them as a group but as an individual person but when I think of them as a group I think of them differently). I guess I mean when you see someone you should try to think of them seperate from the group that they come from, even though there group may act a certain way a person by themselves may not be like that group.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
IS HOW YOU LOOK WHO YOU ARE?
Thought of by Mikeinmidwood at 11:16 PM
Labels: Jews, People, Personalities, Rants, Shidduchim
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7 people gave their 2 cents:
How you look is how you present youreself to the world. Whether by your clothes, you facial expressions, your body language, even things you can't control, like the shape of your nose. This all, whether fairly or not, guides people on how they view you, and how they react to you. So you can change the externals, but they are meant to reflect the internals. So the question is, how do you want to be viewed and judged?
Yes thats true but what about the kids they are forced to wear and look a certain way.
Unfortunatley, I don't have a very good response to that, though frankly, it depends on how old a kid we're talking. A teenager, or even a bit younger, is still trying to figure out who they are, and how they want to present themselves. Why else do you think you see all these kids walking around dressed in some of the strangest clothes you've ever seen? A little kid doesn't really have much choice, because it's either what their paremts bought them, or it's hand-me-downs. One doesn't actually truly make a conscious choice of how to appear until one is older, whether it be teen years or even in your twenties or in some cases thirties.
A few things:
1- A persons culture and environment does effect them. So that Chinese, Jews and Africans are all different. Although on different subject matters we may all be thinking indviduals that agree on the same thing. On many other things we are different and therefore think differently. In one culture it may be ok to eat the dead, while another buries the dead, while yet another burns the dead. So yea we shouldn't judge one to be more right than the other. But we can judge cultures and groups as being different based on how they look.
2- About jacket v. Bekesha and Skirt v. Pants. That could be something to judge by for a shidduch. That's a big criteria. You want someone that will be a match for you, that has the same life goals as you. Skirts v. Pants shows what kind of person you are and therefore a ultra frum person will not go out with a girl who is wearing pants because it doesn't fit with his lifestyle. However different examples of things that don't matter like hair length would be another story.
3- True, each person has neshama and is unique in some way. So at the end of the day we all need the same basic things and therefore should be treated the same.
Baby sitter
You do bring up a good point.(If you really want to know) I added in the pants skirt thing because Frumsatire had that pants post and the person had the right hashkafa except the pants. If you did find the right person you could tell them something about the problem and you could work it out but for some reason people don't do that.
the kids that r forced 2 wear things, dont matter its how they dress afterwards then u can really judge them
MikeInMidwood: I haven't read frumsatire's post yet.
Its impossible to have the right hashkafas and wear pants, cause one of the right hashkafos is tznius. So by lacking tznius they don't have the right Hashkafos. They may be great people and sensitive and caring and everything, but their still missing something.
The reason why you can't work it out is because you can't expect people to change. You marry someone for the way they are now. A spouse does not have the power to change their husband or wife. So if a man thinks he can go out with a girl who wears pants then explain to her the problem and expect her to change, it won't happen, otherwise she would of done it before. A person has to be changed for at least a year already. Lets say with smoking, so if a guy says he'll quit when he goes out with a girl, it won't happen cause he's so used to it, he has to first stop for at least a year to show he's committed to the change.
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