THIS IS DIFFERENT

This ad is ludicrous, its advertising a pretend tatty kit with talis and tefillin. Who...... what..... why....... how come..... I'm at a loss of words here. Ill just explain what they're trying to do and you can comment (hint hint) on how you feel about this. Basically its selling you 40 bucks worth of fake talis and tefillin so your child can play pretend tatty, includes embroidered talis and tefillin bag and tefillin boxes. I think its a nice way to scam people of their money because Ive never seen any boy playing house, girls yes boys no, so why would they want to play pretend tatty, does it include pretend tatty hat and jacket? I surely don't like this idea but tell me otherwise if you think so.

THE KOSHER BOOKS ARE ON THEIR WAY

Remember when I made a kosher Harry potter, with kaballah and kishuf instead of magic called Chaim Snyder. I thought it was the most original idea I ever had, I even gave you a few reasons why they might make the new Chaim Snyder series, just for fun. Now I don't know if my post sparked someones imagination or they thought of it first, but they are coming out with a new Kosher Sherlocke Holmes book.

Now this is the truth, I'm not making this stuff up a kosher version of Sherlocke Holmes so Jewish boys can read it. I don't know anything about it, it could very well be that he uses gemaros to solve a mystery, or that he asks a wise rabbi and he gives him the answer through ruach hakodesh, or he goes for the old school style and uses a magnifying glass, I'm not sure what they'll do to make it kosher.

What bothers me is that they actually think there is something wrong with the Sherlocke Holmes of old, I didn't find anything wrong with any of his books besides for the fact that he smokes a pipe, talks to women not behind a mechitzah and has an assistant called doctor and not gabbai, okay maybe that is a reason to change the book.

As of now I cant find any links to this story, if I find I'll update.

HAVE A SWEET ROSH HASHANAH Y'ALL

Have a happy and healthy new year.

AN UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE

I hope everyone liked the superpower meme, it seems like everyone is enjoying it.... oh you did like it, well you're welcome or uhh... thank you.

Now to the post.

It was not too long ago that I stepped into the source of judaica (a judaica store) and I had a very unpleasant experience. I decided I needed a new pair of tzitzis and a new kippah in honor of rosh hashanah, being that I was going anyway I was asked to get some for by brother too. So I went to the nearest judaica store. As I was searching for a kippah that fit, trying many on to see if I want with a rim, no rim, 6 part, or 4 part, one of the guys from register came over to me and asked me, wait scratch that, told me "You're done, come and you'll pay for it". Now this wasn't at anytime near when they close so I have no clue why he was rushing me, but anyhow I looked at him and said, "Actually I'm not done, so I'm not going to pay yet" he seemed a little annoyed. Then I called my brother to ask what type of kippah he would like, the guy at the register (he walked back) was eyeing me for some stupid reason, maybe he thought I was going to pocket a kippah and not pay for it.

After I got my kippot, I went to look for some tzitzit, now this time as I was walking past him he said "okay lets pay for what you've got" and once again I said "Actually I'm still not done yet" and then he sighed, who in the world does that in front of a customer. I looked for some tzitzit, I tried some on and chose what I wanted, then I decided to take my sweet time getting to the register, just to annoy him.

Now this is some service that I didn't like, why was he rushing me? why was he giving the evil eye to me? why did he want to have me pay for things when I could buy more?

Now I am not someone to leave you with a bad story, so I would like to tell you that I walked into the 7-11, that has shown racism, the one on avenue M, and I actually came out with a smile this time all because of the service. So you see people, especially now that rosh hashanah is coming, you should give everybody a smile and treat them nicely because it can leave an impression on them, and if you don't then they might not go back to your store.

MY MEME

I hate Meme's, I don't like to be tagged at all, it is annoying to have to pick up the 8Th book that comes to you, open up to any page and write from the 2nd sentence till the end of the page, there is no point to it. Also I believe no one likes writing 7 facts about themselves, like "I only drink hazelnut flavored coffee". So I decide to make my own meme, I happen to think people will enjoy this Meme a lot more than thy would other Meme's. Okay now to write the rules.

Rule number 1: Read the rules.

Rule number 2: Write one superpower you would like to have and what you would do with it.

Rule number 3: Write why you chose that super power over everything else.

Rule number 4: Tag and link 7 people, and write why you think they will have an interesting meme.

Rule number 5: fix your broken links.

If I were to choose any superpower it would be to transport myself anywhere at any given moment. Life would be great, I would never be late, I would never be stuck in traffic, I would never have to buy a plane ticket, I could visit absolutely anywhere I want in a matter of seconds with no limitations. Would I become some sort of superhero who fights crime in Midwood and dresses up as something you wear on Purim, I think not. Also, if I really want a good shwarma I can teleport myself to a place in Israel with the best, I can save Gilad shalit from the hands of the terrorists before anyone has a clue what happened, go skydiving without the help of an airplane or a parachute. just too mention a few possibilities. Now that I think about it, it would be so cool to go anywhere you want whenever, the things I can do with that power is endless.

There are many good, or more powerful powers out there that I can take, mind control, knowing the future, but who wants mind control? if every one is under your control its no fun, and knowing the future scares the heck out of me. Besides that I like the idea of teleportation, it can make the earth a little greener because I'm not driving anywhere (kidding). But really, I like the idea that sometimes when I need to get away from everyone, when I need peace and quiet, I can go to a place with a nice scenery and just relax for a while.

I'm tagging Child Ish Behavior because I believe he will come up with some sort of power based on psychology of human beings and their desires, and I would love to read it.

Moshe because I would love to hear if he uses it for evil, or to get rid of liberals.

Jewish Side of Babysitter because she usually writes Meme's and seems to love them, and I think she'll enjoy this one. Also because there are many people who others don't link that she usually does.

Guess who's coming to dinner because I figure that since it always looks like her blog is based on shabbos, I think she will have some sort of shabbos power, and I don't know any shabbos powers or at least any ones that don't violate shabbos.

Material Maidel, I have no clue what power she would pick, and that's what interests me.

Frum Single Female, if book reviewing and being a film critique is a superpower she's already got that.

And last but obviously not least A blob of something different, with so many perfect siblings I wonder if she picks a power to be just like them.

Hope you all like this meme, if you don't want to do it too bad.

KLAP TILL YOU DROP

Slichos was one O'clock in the morning at you're local shul. You never liked slichos, "Why so late? why so early? why so hard to follow?" was what you were thinking. Well whether you liked it or not you made your way to the shul for the slichos.

You start out with ashrei, something you knew, and continue with many unfamiliar paragraphs of hebrew. The little slichos you were using could have easily been a breslov pamphlet, you really couldn't tell the difference, and you would have been day dreaming if it wasn't night. You were very tired and it seemed as if you would conk out, all of a (the) sudden you hit the ashamnu part (the part were you klap your chest). Right then and there you hit yourself, and you get that stroke of genius that has been plaguing you ever since I started writing you posts (you posts are posts where I put you as the main character, like this post).

You realize that the slichos are special, that they shouldn't be taken lightly; you take that literally and proceed to klap you chest as unlightly as possible. The massive whacks that your chest endured was incomprehensible, it was a sight to see, it was amazing you didn't break a rib. But you did feel a pain on your chest, it was a black and blue mark, and every time you hit it it got worse, but you didn't care you knew what that hashem could punish you worse if you didn't try to do teshuvah.

As your are whacking yourself into the book of life, you realize no one else has this much enthusiasm. You wonder "Maybe they have bigger black and blue marks? or maybe they don't have to hit as hard to get one?". You turn towards the person next to you and ask "Do you have a black and blue mark from klapping your chest?" the man says, "Actually, I don't want one". You couldn't believe what you just heard, "He doesn't want a black and blue mark? what does he think? his fist is something to be feared even more so than hashem". This irked you, so you decided that if he wont do it himself you'll have to do it for him.

You go over to him and forcefully klap his chest, he looks at you and then shoves you away, you scream back "Do you wanna live this year or not?!", he turns away from you. This doesn't deter you, you run over to him and take his hand and try to klap him while yelling at him, "I'm trying to help you, let me help!" while fighting with you he says, "you're a nut, get off, I don't need a black and blue mark so just leave me alone" you ask for him to prove you don't, he retaliates with walking away.

You decide that you are going to, from now on, uphold your newly found minhag, and soon make it a halacha so then you can kill someone if they don't listen because its okay to kill over a halachic debate.

You come home from slichos more religious then ever, you even tell yourself, "Everyone knows a holy war is the way to go, even the most extreme religious Muslims agree with you and Islam stems from Judaism, it must be the right Jewish thing". So this rosh hashanah if they don't make it into the book of life your way, you'll be sure they wont make it in any other way.

THE RIOTS ARE GETTING OUT OF HAND DONT PROMOTE IT

Once again the chareidim in Israel protested the use of the parking lot on shabbos, and once again the police came and shot them with rubber bullets, this has been the scene in me'ah shea'arim for the past few months.

There are many bloggers out there condemning this act of violence and rightfully so, its a chilul hashem to burn garbage's and throw rocks at the people using the parking lot, just because you want them to keep shabbos in your city. Yes, people don't find anything sanctifying about burning things and throwing rocks at others, it's a disgrace to g-d's name. Not only is it a disgrace to the shabbos, but in this effort to keep shabbos and chase away the evildoers, they are breaking shabbos, by A) burning and B) throwing rocks in a reshus harabim, since they are melachos which the torah prohibits on shabbos.

In India when they were protesting against the British government they didn't riot, for the most part they did things peacefully, and that's what Mohandas Gandhi preached (one time the Indians did do some violence and he spoke out against that act) . Why aren't any of the Rabbonim doing anything to stop this violence, all I hear are rabbis promoting it, like what I heard recently.

I was in a shul before ma'ariv and a rabbi got up to speak to us for a minute or two. The rabbi said that anyone who thinks what they are doing in Israel is a chilul hashem is wrong and that the protests are the right thing to do. He said that there was one reporter who was filming the violence, the chareidim couldn't hit her because she was a woman, so instead they all spit on her, he justified the act by saying that the camera was like a gun and everyone will do something to save themselves from a gun. There were just too many things wrong with what he said, and his parable was off by a lot. I wanted to go over to the rabbi after davening and ask "How come you don't see Rav Elyashiv at the protests, or why is that they don't call down the chief rabbi of Jerusalem for an inspiring speech before they riot, maybe you don't because its not the right thing to do!", but I didn't want to provoke any rioting in the shul so I kept my mouth shut.

The protests must come to an end, find a better, more peaceful and holy way to get them to stop using the parking lots, violence is not the answer, and Rabbis should stop promoting it.

TO GET INTO THE SPIRIT OF YOM KIPPUR....

Here is a link to a movie in preparation for yom kippur, Material Maidel has also posted it. Set around the days of Yom Kippur, Tickling Leo is a contemporary drama that follows three generations of one Jewish family whose secrets threaten to wipe away its future. When he loses touch with his estranged father, Zak Pikler (Daniel Sauli) and his pregnant girlfriend Delphina (Annie Parisse) travel to an abandoned Catskills lake where the eccentric poet Warren Yitzchak Pikler (Lawrence Pressman) is living in solitude and declining health. As Zak copes with his father's dementia, Delphina inadvertently uncovers a secret the Piklers have been hiding since World War II: an impossible sacrifice they made in order to join Rudolph Kasztner’s controversial train out of Hungary .


TICKLING LEO opens in New York on Friday, September 4 and will also be available day and date on DVD and Amazon VOD. Get out there and watch it!

DONT FORGET THIS ONE, HE'S MY NOMINEE!

People have forgotten where true talent has come from. Some people think shidduch blogs are all the fun, others think blogs solely about our community have it (yeah that's me), but you all forgot about our friend Frum Punk in Britain who really deserves to be nominated. That's why I've decided to nominate him to fly to Israel for the second international Jewish bloggers convention, and I think he will do a great job on recapping it for us, especially since he gave us a great description on his last visit to Israel (I wonder if he wants to go back).

So everyone out there help nominate Frum Punk for a free flight to Israel, the more votes the more of a chance. If you want to nominate any of your fellow bloggers you can use this link, and send a friend to the holy land.