Things that pissed me off last week.

You may not know it but there were a few things that pissed me off last week, and probably you too. I'm not talking about simple things like, why I cant find a parking spot within a one block radius, or why you cut me off, or even why my thumb cant fit into a normal sized bowling ball, I'm talking about bigger things that haven't only affected me.

I got pissed off last week when I heard that a bunch of Jews decided to do some stealing and tax evasion. Ive been saying it for a long time, the last thing we need is a chilul hashem and yet there they go. "But wait you're allowed to steal to support Torah, right? so they did nothing wrong" said a commenter of yeshiva world news, but the answer is no you are not allowed to steal for torah, its a mitzvah that came through an aveirah (which is an aveirah if you didn't know). And you know what I think? I think that they should all go to jail and serve their sentence because they deserve it, and I wont be like another commenter that said they should have their trial in the month of adar and not av, because av is a bad month for Jews and having the trial now will cause them to lose the trial. So why did it piss me off? it didn't affect me? Ill answer that with a question, "did you get pissed of at madoff and his scandal?" the answer is yes, same here.

Another thing that pissed me off this week was a letter printed in the mishpachah magazine. It was condemning Reb Elyashiv for praying for gilad shalit. I know this is hard to hear for all of you that joined groups on Facebook and twitter in support of gilad but the person writing it said that he thinks it's wrong to pray for him to be released, because Israel will give up many captured terrorists in exchange for him. For the person who decided to write that letter to mishpachah I have two things to say; one is, if you were gilad you wouldn't be thinking that way, and two is that one Jewish life is priceless and it doesn't matter how many terrorists you give up (although we try to lessen the amount).

Yeah those were the things that pissed me off last week, cant see who it wouldn't. On a side note have an easy and meaningful fast.

CHAIM SNYDER

Ever since the creation of Harry Potter, the Jewish world has gone into a frenzy. This has happened for many reasons; some say that the book is inappropriate for Jewish minds, others say its because a non Jew wrote it, and some rabbis say that people might come to say accio TV remote, which would then be practicing kishuf (black magic), but the majority of rabbis agree that its because if you read the book you will then want to see the movie, and movies are assur. But what ever the reason is all, rabbis are against it and there seems like there is nothing they can do to stop the potter frenzy. That is until they decided to come out with their own book, or shall I say sefer, called Chaim Snyder.


The new series is about a boy by the name of Chaim Snyder, who was kidnapped by a bunch of christian priests and brought up christian (the priests killed his parents). When he becomes 13 years old he gets a visit from a rabbi, who was sent to find him before his bar mitzvah and tell him he was Jewish. Chaim then embraces Judaism and is sent to a top yeshivah in Israel where he is supposed to learn. Over there in Israel he makes new friends who are very into kabalah. He becomes very "good" (what ever that means) at kabalah and can perform unnatural things, or nisim. Just as he is having a great time in Israel, there rises a new pope who has the power of kishuf, the pope is also making a visit to Israel very soon. Chaim and his friends decide to stop this pope. On their way they have to fight through phony fortune tellers, and Israeli taxi drivers to stop the pope..... sorry I cant give the whole story away, but the new pope was the one who killed Chaims parents in the beginning.


This is the new sefer the rabbis hope is going to combat the awful harry potter series, also the rabbis wont allow it to be made into a movie. In my opinion the new book is only going to be a hit for those who didn't read harry potter, because it was assur.

I CANT TAKE SEVEN ELEVEN 7-11

I was one of those people that rushed after motzei shabbos to the nearest 7-11 to get my hard earned free Slurpee. The first place I went to I was looking around for the seven point 11 ounce cups, but they were nowhere to be found. I decided to go to the front counter and then I remembered I was Jewish. I was thinking how would it look if a Jewish person walks up and says "Hey you got any free Slurpee's?", but then I did it so I didn't have to think about what would happen if I did. The cashier register/ guy at the counter said "nuh..... uh uh" as he tried forcing the half words out of his mouth. I took the impression he was lying, but I didn't want to argue with him for two reasons, 1 because he just said nu..... uh uh which means no and two because what if he really wasn't lying and I argued how cheap would I look, so I left.

I headed to another one close by, which did have free ones, and you had to get them at the counter. I felt weird asking again, because well I'm Jewish and I don't like being categorized as cheap, in fact I go so far not to be called cheap that when ever they give me back change I always tell them to keep the pennies or I put most of the change in the tip box. I asked anyway, and the guy said "who told you that?" and then he laughed and handed me one (he didn't laugh because hes a racist, it wasn't offensive).

Now if there's anything that can ruin getting free Slurpee's its this. I hate having to go up there and ask, why cant they just put it out like all the other cups and everyone will take it and not feel cheap, or have a massive sign outside that says "FREE SLURPEE DAY, GET YOUR 7.11 OUNCE CUPS HERE!!!" that way I don't feel cheap. I have had many occasions in 7-11 where I ran into the cheap Jew stereotype, written about here and here, and that is why I officially hate 7-11 employees and their management. Any questions?

HE REALLY WASNT LIKED BY THAT MANY

When I saw the news of Mike Jackson's death I was shocked, and in fact I was just like the rest of the world that decided to stop hating him and mourn the worlds new loss. NO! I'm sorry but if I were to write that it would be a lie, I for one will not fall into the traps of the media, which is trying to portray him as some sort of G-d or king (on a side note, one left wing reporter literally said "Obama is g-d", and like any other left wing reporter, hes nuts). A handful of people on this world hated him and accused him of many wrongdoings, but once he died it was like he went to church, confessed, and all his sins magically evaporated and then condensed into the tears everyone now sheds over him ( yeah, that was the water cycle used in a simile with a priest).

I don't care where I was when I found out about it, or what I was doing at the time, my emotions did not change one bit when I heard about his "tragic" death. I may feel bad for the people who bought tickets to his upcoming concerts, but you can all go buy a ticket to his funeral if you'd really like (now that's one crazy idea). Very few cared about him in this world, other hated him, and now they are together in unison, forgetting what he did to some and remembering that he introduced the moonwalk to us.

But who cares anymore about what he recently has done, every newspaper had to have him on the front cover, I bet you if they cut of his hair and sell it, it would sell for 500 times as much as it would if he did himself when he was alive. The world just doesnt get it, he was a bad man stop crying!

Now I know some of you are big time fans of his, how youy still are I do not know, but the least you can do is not start a facebook club to say kaddish for him, he isn't worth it, for what hes done no kaddish is moving him to heaven.

Whew (wipes sweat off forehead) what a rant, I'm done for tonight.

THE FOURTH OF JULY

I really wish that Americas independence day came on Sunday this year and not shabbos, all the things I normally do on a 4Th of July could be done without having to break shabbos...... actually if I think about it there is nothing I do special on independence day. I don't invite my whole family and make a BBQ, I don't sing the national anthem or go to a Nathans hot dog contest, I really don't celebrate the biggest day in our nations history. I guess I have the frummie mentality of "we don't celebrate goyish holidays and yom ha'atzmut".

But im not lost yet there is one thing I did that I have always liked, the fireworks shows. I used to go near the toys R us spot, where most people do tashlich, less commonly known as Caesar's bay, but they stopped showing it there. Then I heard that the boardwalk at coney island had some, but they too stopped, the last place around is the Macy's fireworks show, and that's on the east river too far for me on a motzei shabbos.

If anybody does know a place where they celebrate our country by blowing a piece of it up, please tell me, or I wont be doing anything special for our country.