Monday, August 24, 2009


Good evening I am your host Mike In Midwood. In tonight's news the global chain store Gap has sold one of its top and most expensive branches, Banana Republic, to a Jewish organization made up of rabbis know as Agudath Yisroel. The offer was made by the rabbis after they noticed that there were many orthodox Jews who shopped there often, one anonymous rabbi was reported saying "Its ah shandah dat dey buy frum dis Banana Republic, bananas are meant for monkeys and dats for de shvartzes you see on de street". The new frum chain store, Rabbinical Republic, will sell only expensive black clothing (the picture shows the manikins). The designer of the new chain store told us in an exclusive interview, ".... There will be so many different styles of black it will blow your mind...". The new Frum store will be opening up worldwide next z'man.

In other news (straightens stack of papers), Kosher Innovations has made your commute to the city just a little more kosher. The idea came up as coworkers, at the KI main building on 13th ave. in Boro Park, were brainstorming as to what to do for all the people who don't drive to work, and therefore don't use a kosher GPS to guide them, how will they get to work kosherly? One of the coworkers told us how it went down, "We just couldn't figure out what other useless item we can innovate, then someone mentioned Kosher subway cars, and we all jumped over the idea". The new Kosher subway cars, much like the kosher GPS, will feature a male voice, instead of a woman's and a mashgiach to make sure the car stays kosher. The male voice will be used to tell you which stop is next and to stay clear of the closing doors (please). The idea is being tossed around the MTA as of now, and is said that if the new subway cars come in the fare will be hiked up another 25 cents.
That's all for tonight, tune in next time for another edition of Mike Tonight, same station same time, every night.
This is another edition of Mike Tonight dunt dunt dunt dunt dununununt (background music).

2 people gave their 2 cents:

Ookamikun said...

Vel it's about time! Finally I can go to store ver salesman not gonna look at me funny ven I tell him I vant suit that's black like my kippa, not black like my shoes!

Will they serve chulent in the kosher subway cars?

Mikeinmidwood said...


If they have a minyan on the train, with torah and all, kiddush will be with chulent.