Saturday, January 24, 2009


Unlike normal food, a Yeshivahs food is meant to make you lose your appetite. Whether there were ants in the oatmeal, or pizza with green cheese, it always managed to gross you out. I remember our famous joke, that was always used till it became lame; "Stand up for the food, its older than you".

We got our food from City harvest and other companies of that sort. There were times that they delivered soda that would have expired that day, and instead of my yeshivah giving it too us then, it got stored in a hot room for 8 months, only to be served flat, expired, and with a pinch of salmonella.

For breakfast we would have; corn flakes or rice krispies(oops, I mean krisp rice, the kemach version), orange juice that no one dared touch, tea from already used tea bags, eggs , oatmeal that if you ate it, you would have transgressed on the sin of don't eat insects, bread, milk that was questionable, peanut butter, butter, margarine, and sugar, our sugar was magnetic (it stuck to the cups through static electricity, does that not make it magnetic?) . Sometimes we would have Chocolate milk, and french toast. If we were lucky, they would give out coco krispies, or what ever the kemach version of it was. The milk was always being passed around to smell, till one guy decided to taste it, you could never trust it. The eggs were usually good. Now the oatmeal was a problem. Here's a story to explain why.

My friend was about to take a spoonful of oatmeal, and he noticed black dots in it. He looked a little closer, and saw it was fried ants (or boiled ones, grossing you out yet?). So he goes over to the cook and says "you've got ants in this" so the cook looks and says "No! its dots". So my friend saw a Rabbi, who was about to have some, and said there are ants in it. The Rabbi looks and shows it to the cook, only then did the cook throw it out. Ever since that event I didn't take oatmeal.

The Chocolate milk was not at all Chocolate milk, it was in fact leftover cocoa from the night before, and the cocoa was made out of all the expired milk they had. So basically, if you wanted your stomach to twinge for a few hours you had some "chocolate milk".

The French toast they gave was good, if you didn't get a whole wheat slice. They had some sort of imitation of maple syrup, that needed a lot of magnetic sugar added.

What I normally had for breakfast was; a bowl of cornflakes, or krisp rice, with sugar. It tasted nasty without sugar; and at the end of your bowl was all the sugar residue laying at the bottom. The smartest thing to do was to bring your own cereal, then you have it all set out besides the milk.

During breakfast we would all put our theories together on how to stay healthy while still eating the Yeshivas food, that consisted of what to eat and what not to. An occasional egg fight would break out, or who bet someone they cant eat some concoction without vomiting the whole day.

Breakfast is supposed to be the main meal of your day, we on the other hand had it lacking. Share some of your yeshiva food theories or experiences, I don't know how it is in girl schools.

13 people gave their 2 cents:

mlevin said...

Spoiled milk does not make your stomach twinge. Yes, it tastes gross, but what do you think they make cheese from? Or yogurt? Or sour cream?

So, don't complain spoiled milk is good.

Mikeinmidwood said...


I believe those gave sone stages it goes through not just spoiling.

frum single female said...

oliver twist had nothing on your yeshiva

Mikeinmidwood said...

Frum single Female

I forgot to say they didnt allow double portions till you went on line again, unless of course the inspectors were there.

Something Different said...

girls schools don't serve food. They serve plastic replicas, because they know know that none of the girls would touch it. Saves a lot of money that way. (The money gets spent on nosh and ice cream instead, because all those poor dieting girls need stuff like that.)

Ookamikun said...

Wow, and I thought the yeshiva food in my day, 1994, was bad. It may have been overcooked and tasted bleh, but it wasn't spoiled or expired.

mlevin said...

Mike - kefir, sold in stores, is literally spoiled milk with bits in it and all. People pay extra money for spoiled milk packaged in containers and labeled kefir.

Yogurt and sour cream, if I'm not mistaken, is a milk spoiled in a specific, controlled way.

Cheeses such as cottage and farmer's cheese is spoiled milk boiled and drained.

Other cheeses are spoiled milk, boiled, drained, spiced and aged in a controlled environment.

Mikeinmidwood said...

Something Different

Lol. So what happens when the heath department comes?


I hear Chaim Berlin had good food, you got lucky.


"With a controlled eenvironment", nothing in my yeshiva's food system was controlled.

Anonymous said...

mike, your yeshivah food was good

my yeshivah food was like: cereal & milk (not spoiled), orange juice, eggs. we would have a load of milk in the fridge and every time we would attempt to get a new bottle of milk, that would expire in two days, they would say "dont touch that, save all that for next week."

ah! good times.
wow high school felt good


Mikeinmidwood said...

Sam The Organizing Man

doesnt seem like you had it worse.

Anonymous said...

yeah, but it tasted horrible

Something Different said...

What health department?

Mikeinmidwood said...

Something Different

I can only hope you are joking and not saying that for real, so lol.